Top Reasons Not To Get Married

I believe in examining every situation from every possible angle.  Which means we are going to look at the top reasons to not get married.  Again same intro applies here only the disclaimer changes.


1.  Losing girl's weekends.


2.  Sharing a bed.  Seriously I love having a queen sized bed all to myself.  Sometimes I'm even mean and don't let the cats in to share and they are like 1/16 the size of the average American male.


3.  The potential that he might snore.  


4.  Losing control of the remote.


5.  Having to make dinners that consist of more than what is on the fast food menu or what comes out of a box.


6.  Having someone to go to every function with you and trying to remember to tell them.


7.  Football season and baseball season.  Go with me here.  Do you think a Red Sox fan should marry a Yankee fan?


8.  Having a driver.  Would make singing at the top of your lungs to release stress potentially irritating to the driver. 






* I would like to one day be married.  None of the aforementioned reasons are important enough to prevent me from getting married.  I felt that I needed to list them to be fair.  My point of view on marriage is that I am the marrying kind so I'm hoping more for the "one day" than the "hey it could happen."

Top Reasons To Get Married

This is the top reasons to get married post.  I am not numbering because reasons are likely to be added or removed depending on how pertinent they are at that stage of life.  *

1.  To have a full time driver

2.  To have a cheap mechanic or at least someone who can tell me I'm overpaying mine.

3.  To reduce the amount of junk food I eat or to keep the "odd ducks" who are strangely attracted to me from bringing me Godiva, doughnuts, and every form of chocolate imaginable.  

4.  To have a tag-a-long to all the things that I don't want to go to so we can suffer together.

5.  To be able to answer "yes" when meeting someone new and they ask if I'm married.

6.  To reduce the number of guys who freak me out and then ask me out.  At least I can be freaked out and unavailable.

7.  Tax deduction.

8.  Lower car insurance.

9.  To relieve my father's worries that he'll never be rid of me.


After spending the weekend with one of my best friends, he pointed out another factor.


10.  To learn to cook meals that don't come out of a box or off a fast food menu.

* Disclaimer - I believe in marriage and fully support marriage and hope to be married one day.  This is simply a humorous look into why I might want to get married sooner rather than later and not the reasoning for why I will get married.


** Additional disclaimer - This is not meant to be serious but a comical outlook on weddings.

Cast of Characters

While I sat through Bethany Assembly's The Easter Song tonight it hit me.  Jesus wasn't the only one fulfilling the will of the Father.

It took so many people to put the Savior on the Cross.  The plan was set in motion when Satan engaged God and ultimately got himself removed from God's presence.  We had a hero to oppose our villain.  However this story would have many supporting characters that would all be instrumental in fulfilling God's plan to restore man to himself.

There was an entire crowd of people who called for Jesus' death when Pontius Pilate and Caesar couldn't overrule them.  They caved in to the peer pressure and gave in to the crowd.  There were the Roman soldiers who inflicted the physical pain and offered up the verbal abuse.  There was the person who supplied the lumber that ultimately became a cross.  There was the whip maker.  Someone fastened together a crown of thorns.

Jesus died for the each and everyone of them.  He offered redemption to the soldier who nailed him to the cross.  He forgave the soldier who pierced his side with a sword.  He loved every one in the crowd who stood and watched.  He died for the actions of Adam & Eve.  He died for the sins that had been committed and all the sins that would be committed.

Sometimes our actions can appear wrong when really they are part of God's Will.  We can't condemn the soldiers or the crowd because without them Jesus would have found another way to the cross.  They were called to take part in the greatest sacrifice ever made.  I wouldn't want to be them but just as surely as their actions put Jesus on the cross my sins contributed to His presence.

I believe that men & women would find it easier to get along if they just accepted the differences instead of trying to find the reasoning, an explanation, or an understanding behind them.

Super Bowl Game & Commercial Thoughts & Observations

I'm voting for the Saints (Geaux Saints!).  Every year the Patriots won the Super Bowl they were the underdogs.  I want David to win this battle.  

Peyton Manning just looks miserable.  That is not a "I'm in the zone and going out to win" face.  He looks like he got treated by Botox and can't smile.  

The thing I'm learning from all these beer commercials is that I don't want to be a beer drinker if I'm going to look that retarded.  Bring me the Mojito party commercials.  At least they appear to be enjoying their alcohol induced parties and not going to be an epic fail in the survival of the smartest after a plane crash.  

It is clear to me that men don't understand women.  A bunch of men running around in their underwear does nothing for females.  Especially when the choice is tighty whities.  Seriously.  At least bust out the CK underwear models and the boxer briefs.  

The NFL might take into consideration that women are a huge part of their viewership.  Appears to me that SB 44 has been mistaken for the "boy's club."  Really?  The Dodge Charger is going to be the only testosterone saving decision in order to keep the man card?  Really?  If your car is going to be the only decision that your lady is going to give you at least make it a statement - a pick up, a SUV, a crotch rocket.  Dodge Charger?  No thanks.  

So CBS has the #1 Comedy, Drama, New Series, &  the Super Bowl.  They also have the #1 Halftime Show for the geriatrics crowd.  

I'd like to take this moment to personally express my gratitude to Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake for completely ruining the halftime show until the FCC again allows performers under the age of 30 to headline again.  Until then they are relegated to the task of performing the National Anthem as a wardrobe malfunction during the Star Spangled Banner is highly unlikely.  

Although that outfit that Carrie Underwood was a malfunction.   Girlfriend needed a splash of color.  All white (outside of weddings) isn't cool before, after, or on Labor Day, Memorial Day, or any other day.

The Who managed to give the CSI franchise free publicity as they performed all three of the themes to the trilogy.  I'm forever grateful that television show theme songs are thirty seconds long.    

Signs you should hang up your microphone & fold up the leather pants:

You worry your dentures might fall out if you rock out too hard.

You wear bifocals.

You lip sync.

Your grandkids know your music because they watch CSI.

On side kick are you kidding me?  I like it!!!!!!  

Touchdown... oh are you kidding me...  that is some amazing pigskin.

Cat just got so excited over the Saints touchdown she fell off the back of the couch.  

Red one, green one, blue one, gray one, black one, white one.....  Might be the best commercial I've seen tonight.  

Come on Saints!!!! I'd like to see the Colts lose like I enjoy watching the Yankees lose.  

I'm not sure what Kia was thinking with the life-size sock monkey puppet but it is creepy.  And I don't know what the Cousin It hamster thing is but it is odd.  

No Good!!!!  Geaux Saints!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Who Dat!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

My vote for MVP is a write in - the referee who overturned the incomplete on the two point conversion.

Come on Saints defense.  All you need to do is stop them.  Hold them.  Give your city a championship!  

INTERCEPTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

That my friends is a beautiful thing.  And that kick off.  A thing of beauty.  

WHO DAT!


Overall I'm glad the Saints won otherwise this would have been a disappointing night.  The commercials sucked.  

On This Road Of Life

There are passengers and there are drivers. Some car commercial. May have been Mazda before the Zoom Zoom days.

In the unnecessary amount of time that I spend driving to work every day thanks to the wonder that is Connecticut drivers, I've observed the manner in which you drive can be the manner in which you approach life.

I spend lots of time in traffic. Sometimes bumper to bumper and sometimes just losing-to-a-snail slow. I've observed through four months of daily gridlock that there are two types of mergers in the world.

Merger A or stick-my-nose-so-far-in-they-won't-be-able-to-ignore-me is the type to race up a lane that will come to an end in 100 feet and force someone to slam on their breaks to allow them to merge. This shows a concern only for one's self and a belief that others will stop for you.

Merger B or take-the-opportunities-as-they-come is the type to see an opening and after assessing that merging won't cause anyone harm or an unnecessary slamming of the brakes they use their blinker and merge. In the midst of their merge they are fully prepared to stop or relent the space should a Merger A arrive on the scene.

Merger A tends to be the catalyst to a lot of the traffic that holds me hostage and that's just irritating.

Chocolate is good for your health. I'm a much happier and content person with a moderate amount of chocolate added to my diet. This is beneficial to your health because a happy me means I'm less likely to kick your butt.