Memory Lane

Have you ever taken a walk down memory lane and not known if the end was in sight or if the destination would be the beginning or the end?

Over a decade of friendship had made us closer than two sisters, more than just friends, and more comfortable than kindred spirits. We had shared so much in the 13 years that we had known each other. Giggles of schoolgirls as they spied their crushes brought blushes to our cheeks. Complaints of "grown women" who wanted to spread their wings and fly but were tethered to the poles known as parents brought smiles to our faces. Murmurings of independence and maturity brought smirks to our faces as we thought about how little we knew back then.

13 years of friendship. 13 years of planning double weddings, simultaneous pregnancies, vacations, and friendships for our children that would resemble ours and not once did we think that anything would ever change what we had. Of course life has a way of bringing out the chasms that need to be crossed in order to reach new heights.

It started out a simple drive. We wanted to be 14 again so we headed out for fries and a frosty. We started driving to pass the time without the distractions that boyfriends, parents, work, and life threw at us. I don't think either one of us could ever explain how we ended up in the old neighborhood or how the car slowed as houses we once called home came into view.

A dull ache moves in. This isn't supposed to hurt nor is it supposed to cause the tear that pools in the corner of my eye. I hope that it is too dark for her to see but when I glance at her a salty trail has been blazed down the side of her cheek. She looks at me briefly before looking back out the window and asking if I remembered the summers we spent painting and cleaning to earn a few dollars to go to the movies. My voice is weak as I respond. It wasn't supposed to be this painful.

We drive on again. Neither one of us says anything. I didn't trust myself to speak. I had been told that growing up was hard but when did it become heartbreaking? We continue on in silence, left to our thoughts of yesteryear.

Her voice breaks me out of my reverie. We are parked in front of the one place that would never change in our lives. We pull our shoes off and hit the sandy beaches walking along the same shore that saw two little girls build sand castles before giving way to the teens who sat around tanning and wishing their pride would let them build sand castles to the adults who wished they had time to build sand castles. It doesn't take long for the two of us to be seated constructing images in the sand.

"Do you regret any of it?"

She asks shyly like she is talking to a stranger and not her best friend. I know that she is not asking about the first 12 years but of the past year that had radically changed our lives. I think back to the laughter, the tears, the hurt, and the joy. I shake my head.

"No. There is a future to be had and memories that will tell of the legacy of two friends who withstood everything thrown at them to become the best friends who continue to grow closer with each passing year."