Best If Used By

I'm going to put a word of advice here. Since I've been burned by this more than a few times. When you are young, don't make fun of those a few years older than you.  Weird crap will come out of their mouths but you just need to listen and not make fun of them. Otherwise a large "I told you so" will be coming at you.

When I was in my 20s and some woman would use the words "biological clock" I would promptly roll my eyes and mutter under my breath about nonsense. I never dreamed that one day I'd have those words echoing around in my head.

I don't feel old. I definitely don't act old. It isn't that I'm immature. I've been told since I was a teen that I'm mature for my age and I certainly haven't regressed. If anything I will admit to being too mature and therefore too independent. However, we aren't diagnosing all the reasons that I'm not married yet. There are some interesting theories out there but that is a topic for another day.  I just feel like the clock has stopped ticking up to the day when marriage and children will happen to ticking down the time remaining on potential motherhood to pass me by.

So those words are bouncing around in my head and occasionally I hear them out of someone's mouth. Not usually mine although I have confessed to a couple of my friends the thoughts that have bounced in my head. I'm not saying my expiration date has passed but it feels like it is closer than I anticipated.  I'd always dreamed I would be a young mother. The neighborhood soccer mom with cookies and pets and a front door that was open to anyone. Now friends a few years older than me are admitting they couldn't keep up with their kids if they were to start now.  I even have a friend a few years younger who can't keep up with her kids now. Although I am not using her a  measuring stick because really she would complain if she was 18, 28, or 38. Also I really believe that it is a choice how we approach life and the hurdles it throws at us. I'm more about embracing the circumstances that make it a challenge than complaining about it.

My maturity won't let me do anything drastic. My common sense won't let me do anything insane. Life will play out as it should. I won't sell myself on Ebay as I've jokingly threatened. I'm not going for online dating because I shop for books online not husbands. I'm not going to pull a Madonna and put out an ad.

This is more a confession that someone a decade younger than me can laugh at. The biological clock is tick tocking in my head. Think twice before you laugh at someone because your day might come.