"I have high standards."
"It is ok to be picky and keep high standards."
"Don't settle!"
Those three statements and any variation regarding high standards are the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard to me. While the general idea of high standards isn't a deplorable one, I believe it is a safety net for many people. It is the pat answer when adult singles explain why they aren't married. It is a blanket statement when problems within a relationship can't be identified.
I don't believe you should settle. I believe you should have God's standards.
I do believe you should have standards, but they should be driven by an intimate relationship with God. Over the past few weeks I have been helping a friend through a difficult season in her relationship. As a single thirty-something I mostly don't feel qualified to offer advice. However, I possess two amazing parents who gifted me with a childhood immersed in God's presence. As an adult I had to make the personal choice to maintain my relationship with God or let it go by the wayside. Thankfully despite the increased distance between God and I at times, He has always welcomed me back with open arms. While I don't have a marriage to give me practical experience to garner wisdom from, I do believe God gives us the wisdom to discern when we can't determine up from down. I do believe there is sufficient evidence in the Bible that settling is not what God has for any of us.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
However, we need to identify what "settling" means. Settling is what happens when you choose someone because you are impatient waiting for God's timing. Settling is when you know compromise on God's plan for your life. Settling is what happens when you tell God the what-what instead of listening for His guidance. Settling is what happens when you don't see a hope and a future so you find your own future.
"Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you..."
Isaiah 43
If you prefer to call it high standards, I won't stop you. Maybe I'm picky. Maybe I'm a dating snob. Maybe I'm exlusive. Maybe I'm setting the bar too high. I am okay with whichever way you choose to describe my unwillingness to compromise on God's standards. The plans God has for me far outweigh whatever I could dream up for myself.
Showing posts with label Lessons from God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lessons from God. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 7, 2016
Friday, April 12, 2013
But God
You would think by now that I wouldn't be surprised. Yet here I sit, shocked at how amazing God works things out.
This week I had an opportunity to interview for a position. By all counts this job seemed to be something that I was wasting my time on interviewing for. It was below my pay range, farther from home than I'd like, and only temporary. However, to keep unemployment happy I haven't turned down an interview yet. I trotted myself out for this interview thinking there would be no reason they'd want me because of some prior commitments that would require time off.
Well, I was offered the position. Then I had a decision to make. Take this job, be employed, continue to look, and bring home less than I do on unemployment? Don't take this job, gamble on my unemployment being extended again, hope I get a job before the lease is up on my car, and keep applying to every place hiring?
Ultimately I took the job. Through the temp agency somethings were negotiated so I felt more comfortable with accepting the position. This all went down earlier this week.
Today I received a letter that unemployment was reducing benefits due to the federal budget cuts. With what was negotiated through the temp agency, I'm making more now working than I would have been on unemployment.
I've spent more than a few hours wondering what God has in store for me with being laid off and then struggling to find work. I've battled a lot of self-pity and muttered more than a few times "do You even have a plan for me?" I wish I could say that my faith remained steadfast and true but it shook in uncertainty at times. I held out hope but hope seems to burrow deeper with each moment the phone didn't ring with a job offer or a request for an interview.
But God
While my hope may have faded a bit and my faith grew shakier, He remained strong. He remained faithful. He remained my Provider. It was all in His timing and when I listened to His guiding, I find myself on the path that He has laid out for me.
This week I had an opportunity to interview for a position. By all counts this job seemed to be something that I was wasting my time on interviewing for. It was below my pay range, farther from home than I'd like, and only temporary. However, to keep unemployment happy I haven't turned down an interview yet. I trotted myself out for this interview thinking there would be no reason they'd want me because of some prior commitments that would require time off.
Well, I was offered the position. Then I had a decision to make. Take this job, be employed, continue to look, and bring home less than I do on unemployment? Don't take this job, gamble on my unemployment being extended again, hope I get a job before the lease is up on my car, and keep applying to every place hiring?
Ultimately I took the job. Through the temp agency somethings were negotiated so I felt more comfortable with accepting the position. This all went down earlier this week.
Today I received a letter that unemployment was reducing benefits due to the federal budget cuts. With what was negotiated through the temp agency, I'm making more now working than I would have been on unemployment.
I've spent more than a few hours wondering what God has in store for me with being laid off and then struggling to find work. I've battled a lot of self-pity and muttered more than a few times "do You even have a plan for me?" I wish I could say that my faith remained steadfast and true but it shook in uncertainty at times. I held out hope but hope seems to burrow deeper with each moment the phone didn't ring with a job offer or a request for an interview.
But God
While my hope may have faded a bit and my faith grew shakier, He remained strong. He remained faithful. He remained my Provider. It was all in His timing and when I listened to His guiding, I find myself on the path that He has laid out for me.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Rejection
The month of June was not a great month for me. At least it wasn't for the part of me that is dictated by my human nature was rocked to the core.
On June 15th I was informed that I'd be laid off from my job. There is a long back story and while the lay off wasn't much of a shock the reasoning behind their decision to lay me off was. I was informed I wasn't good enough. Major blow that I had to come to terms with. As I struggled to understand how I wasn't good enough despite my reviews and the wonderful recommendation letters I received, I was already wounded so I believed them.
A week before I found out that I'd be laid off, I was bored. A bored me is a thing to be frightened of. Usually I just contact one of my good friends and we plot and plan worldwide domination and then we get distracted and life goes on. I digress. This is what happens when I get distracted. Back to my point. In the midst of my boredom I decided I'd give online dating a shot. Or not really a shot. More like a quick peek from my peripheral so no one would know I was looking. I was rejected on online dating too.
The part of me running completely on my human nature immediately began licking my wounds. I painted on my brave face and struck out to face the world. The online dating rejection or "ODR" as we are going to call it wasn't exactly public knowledge. The lay off was. I couldn't exactly hide that as I began packing my four dozen photos from my cubicle to take home. And for a few weeks I had to face people who expressed their sympathy for my circumstances. Yet, I pretended that it didn't hurt.
I'm a liar. It did hurt. Because I failed to measure up both professionally and personally. There was something wrong with me that made my company discard me and guys fail to find me attractive. So I stewed and I contemplated. About the time I was preparing to move to a country with far less blondes than the US (joking!), I grasped on to one simple truth. God wanted me!
He wanted me when He created the world and plopped Adam and Eve in paradise. He wanted me He sent His Son to die for my sins. He wanted me when I weighed my options between what the world offered and what He offered and I chose the world. He wanted me when I repented and He wanted me when I did it again. He wanted me when corporate America didn't. He wanted me when some single dude with a cracked out user name didn't. He wants me today. He'll want me tomorrow.
The other lesson that I learned was that while my employer might have told me I wasn't good enough, I had the proof that I was. I didn't need to believe their lies. My brain accepted their lies and through the tears I struggled to understand. When I stepped away and didn't listen to their harsh words but saw their agenda, I knew that their lies were unfounded. I had done all asked of me and then some. I wouldn't give them the power to stifle my confidence.
So to the world I may not be their definition of desirable. I'm not employed today and Facebook says I'm single but God says He wants me. So I'm going to grasp on to Him because He has great plans for me.
On June 15th I was informed that I'd be laid off from my job. There is a long back story and while the lay off wasn't much of a shock the reasoning behind their decision to lay me off was. I was informed I wasn't good enough. Major blow that I had to come to terms with. As I struggled to understand how I wasn't good enough despite my reviews and the wonderful recommendation letters I received, I was already wounded so I believed them.
A week before I found out that I'd be laid off, I was bored. A bored me is a thing to be frightened of. Usually I just contact one of my good friends and we plot and plan worldwide domination and then we get distracted and life goes on. I digress. This is what happens when I get distracted. Back to my point. In the midst of my boredom I decided I'd give online dating a shot. Or not really a shot. More like a quick peek from my peripheral so no one would know I was looking. I was rejected on online dating too.
The part of me running completely on my human nature immediately began licking my wounds. I painted on my brave face and struck out to face the world. The online dating rejection or "ODR" as we are going to call it wasn't exactly public knowledge. The lay off was. I couldn't exactly hide that as I began packing my four dozen photos from my cubicle to take home. And for a few weeks I had to face people who expressed their sympathy for my circumstances. Yet, I pretended that it didn't hurt.
I'm a liar. It did hurt. Because I failed to measure up both professionally and personally. There was something wrong with me that made my company discard me and guys fail to find me attractive. So I stewed and I contemplated. About the time I was preparing to move to a country with far less blondes than the US (joking!), I grasped on to one simple truth. God wanted me!
He wanted me when He created the world and plopped Adam and Eve in paradise. He wanted me He sent His Son to die for my sins. He wanted me when I weighed my options between what the world offered and what He offered and I chose the world. He wanted me when I repented and He wanted me when I did it again. He wanted me when corporate America didn't. He wanted me when some single dude with a cracked out user name didn't. He wants me today. He'll want me tomorrow.
The other lesson that I learned was that while my employer might have told me I wasn't good enough, I had the proof that I was. I didn't need to believe their lies. My brain accepted their lies and through the tears I struggled to understand. When I stepped away and didn't listen to their harsh words but saw their agenda, I knew that their lies were unfounded. I had done all asked of me and then some. I wouldn't give them the power to stifle my confidence.
So to the world I may not be their definition of desirable. I'm not employed today and Facebook says I'm single but God says He wants me. So I'm going to grasp on to Him because He has great plans for me.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Minus 4 wisdom teeth but a little more wise
Yesterday I had all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I was dreading it because I have the type of imagination that envisions the pain-killers not working, over-sized pliers out of a rusty tool box, and a geyser of blood.
I wouldn't volunteer to go through it again but God and I had a great couple of hours. The procedure wasn't nearly as bad as my imagination had made it out to be.
During the procedure I had my iPod. I'd created a "worship" playlist that was nearly four hours long (just in case because I was imagining my butt would never leave that chair). While in the midst of a worship time with my King I made a correlation between my time in the chair and our sinful nature.
Despite knowing that what was being done to me should/would hurt I felt nothing more than some manuevering in my mouth. What I knew should bring pain and eventually would was nothing more than an irritant. As I lay there and the drill would come out I'd turn up my iPod and drown out the sound of the tool with worship songs. If things quieted down I'd turn it down a bit but remain deep in the presence of God.
Isn't that how life should be? If the procedure becomes the sin in our lives then don't we need to drown out its influence with the presence of God? Don't we overpower it with the grace of God and trust in Him to see us through?
Temptation seems to be at an all-time powerful these days. Everywhere we go we are bombarded with images, sounds, messages that aren't honoring to God. We need to turn down the influence of the enemy and immerse ourselves in God's presence. He's always waiting for us if we'd only turn up the volume and ignore the temptations surrounding us.
I wouldn't volunteer to go through it again but God and I had a great couple of hours. The procedure wasn't nearly as bad as my imagination had made it out to be.
During the procedure I had my iPod. I'd created a "worship" playlist that was nearly four hours long (just in case because I was imagining my butt would never leave that chair). While in the midst of a worship time with my King I made a correlation between my time in the chair and our sinful nature.
Despite knowing that what was being done to me should/would hurt I felt nothing more than some manuevering in my mouth. What I knew should bring pain and eventually would was nothing more than an irritant. As I lay there and the drill would come out I'd turn up my iPod and drown out the sound of the tool with worship songs. If things quieted down I'd turn it down a bit but remain deep in the presence of God.
Isn't that how life should be? If the procedure becomes the sin in our lives then don't we need to drown out its influence with the presence of God? Don't we overpower it with the grace of God and trust in Him to see us through?
Temptation seems to be at an all-time powerful these days. Everywhere we go we are bombarded with images, sounds, messages that aren't honoring to God. We need to turn down the influence of the enemy and immerse ourselves in God's presence. He's always waiting for us if we'd only turn up the volume and ignore the temptations surrounding us.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Stripes
Tonight I sat in church behind someone who had a cute t-shirt on. It was a WWF t-shirt with a zebra and it said "I've earned my stripes." It was adorable. However, God brought a weekend of seeking Him and personal worship full circle and made that t-shirt a part of my anthem.
I've earned my stripes but He bore them.
I spent part of Saturday morning immersing myself in worship songs, praising my God for all He has done for me. I ended up on YouTube where I found a great video reminding me that We are the Reason that He gave His life. I was struck again of how I take for granted the punishment that I earned but that He endured.
Mentally I know that His beating and death were in lieu of the punishment I deserve. He endured the pain that I might gain the prize. However, the visual imagery of the pain - the whip that tore into His back, the crown of thorns that embedded in His skull, the nails that pierced His hands, the agony that He suffered in love for me - moved me to a place that I haven't been in a long time. It's a humbling thought but sometimes it is too easily forgotten. I don't remember daily that His sacrifice was my gain. I live as though I have the right to do as I please within reason but that isn't the case. Too easily do I forget the pain that gives me peace, the separation that gives me acceptance, the death that covers me in grace, mercy, and the promise of forever. I forget to express my gratitude to Him for saving me from a life without hope and peace. I fail to talk to Him because I take for granted that He knows all I'm going through. I don't share with Him the good in my life but I seek Him out to solve the bad.
I was introduced to a new group this weekend. Their song Can't Get Over You is an amazing worship song. (I linked to the acoustic version because really you just need to sing this as a love song to God.) However, before you can move to the place of complete surrender and focus on Him self must be removed. We didn't earn His mercy or grace; they were a gift extended to us because of His unwavering love. Someday I'll leave this Earth behind and truly turn my eyes to Him. There'll be no distractions, excuses, reasons, or sin separating us. It'll be an eternity to worship Him - 10,000 years and we'll just have begun. There is so much here on Earth that looks to divide me from Him until that day. Yet, if I remind myself of His sacrifice, my eternity, and the job He has called me to do then I won't get over Him anytime soon.
I love the way You love like no other
It's got nothing to do with anything that I do
Time and time again You forgive me
So this time I choose to stay here with You
Hold me
Pull me just a little bit closer
I don't want to lose this moment
You're love has covered me
And now I can't get over You
I can't get over You
I can't get over You
I just can't get over You
Here in the arms of my Father
Only grace can be found
So I lay my fears down
Nothing is the same anymore
You've changed me from the inside out
Now my heart is beating and it's singing won't You...
Hold me
Pull me just a little bit closer
I don't want to lose this moment
You're love has covered me
And now I can't get over You
I can't get over You
I can't get over You
I just can't get over You
I can't get over You
I can't get over the way
Your love stays the same, oh Lord
I can't get over the way
Your love stays the same, oh Lord
Even through the good and the bad times
You stay the same
So my song will remain
Lord...
Hold me
Pull me just a little bit closer
I don't want to lose this moment
You're love has covered me
And now I can't get over You
I can't get over You
I can't get over You
I just can't get over You
I can't get over You
I can't get over You
There's nothing I can't do
I just can't get over You
I can't get over You
I've earned my stripes but He bore them.
I spent part of Saturday morning immersing myself in worship songs, praising my God for all He has done for me. I ended up on YouTube where I found a great video reminding me that We are the Reason that He gave His life. I was struck again of how I take for granted the punishment that I earned but that He endured.
Mentally I know that His beating and death were in lieu of the punishment I deserve. He endured the pain that I might gain the prize. However, the visual imagery of the pain - the whip that tore into His back, the crown of thorns that embedded in His skull, the nails that pierced His hands, the agony that He suffered in love for me - moved me to a place that I haven't been in a long time. It's a humbling thought but sometimes it is too easily forgotten. I don't remember daily that His sacrifice was my gain. I live as though I have the right to do as I please within reason but that isn't the case. Too easily do I forget the pain that gives me peace, the separation that gives me acceptance, the death that covers me in grace, mercy, and the promise of forever. I forget to express my gratitude to Him for saving me from a life without hope and peace. I fail to talk to Him because I take for granted that He knows all I'm going through. I don't share with Him the good in my life but I seek Him out to solve the bad.
I was introduced to a new group this weekend. Their song Can't Get Over You is an amazing worship song. (I linked to the acoustic version because really you just need to sing this as a love song to God.) However, before you can move to the place of complete surrender and focus on Him self must be removed. We didn't earn His mercy or grace; they were a gift extended to us because of His unwavering love. Someday I'll leave this Earth behind and truly turn my eyes to Him. There'll be no distractions, excuses, reasons, or sin separating us. It'll be an eternity to worship Him - 10,000 years and we'll just have begun. There is so much here on Earth that looks to divide me from Him until that day. Yet, if I remind myself of His sacrifice, my eternity, and the job He has called me to do then I won't get over Him anytime soon.
I love the way You love like no other
It's got nothing to do with anything that I do
Time and time again You forgive me
So this time I choose to stay here with You
Hold me
Pull me just a little bit closer
I don't want to lose this moment
You're love has covered me
And now I can't get over You
I can't get over You
I can't get over You
I just can't get over You
Here in the arms of my Father
Only grace can be found
So I lay my fears down
Nothing is the same anymore
You've changed me from the inside out
Now my heart is beating and it's singing won't You...
Hold me
Pull me just a little bit closer
I don't want to lose this moment
You're love has covered me
And now I can't get over You
I can't get over You
I can't get over You
I just can't get over You
I can't get over You
I can't get over the way
Your love stays the same, oh Lord
I can't get over the way
Your love stays the same, oh Lord
Even through the good and the bad times
You stay the same
So my song will remain
Lord...
Hold me
Pull me just a little bit closer
I don't want to lose this moment
You're love has covered me
And now I can't get over You
I can't get over You
I can't get over You
I just can't get over You
I can't get over You
I can't get over You
There's nothing I can't do
I just can't get over You
I can't get over You
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Grace Like Rain
Grace Like Rain by Todd Agnew
On June 1st, I found myself in an interesting position. I left work frustrated with my boss because her procrastination caused me to pick up the pieces again. So instead of heading home I had to run an errand in the opposite direction. While I stood in Staples it downpoured and hailed outside. I rushed through the rain to get home and came to an abrupt stop because of heavy traffic only about a mile from home. I figured there was flooding and switched on the radio. There may have been flooding but the delay was due to a tornado that danced through West Springfield, Springfield, and eventually out to Monson. It took me seven hours to get home that night. As hungry and frustrated as I was when I got home, it all dissipated the next day when I realized the 3.86 mile drive from work to home had been the path the tornado took for about 2.5 of it.
At one point on Wednesday night I found myself on a road unable to go anywhere. The skies opened up and it torrential downpoured. I turned my car off to wait it out when it became evident we weren't going anywhere. The rain kept coming. Tonight as I listened to Grace Like Rain, I thought back to my experience on Wednesday night. His grace kept me safe but I observed a lot about rain that evening also.
While my car was running during the downpour the wipers couldn't keep up. Even on the highest setting they may as well not been on. The rain came down so swiftly that it looked like my car was underwater. Then the water built up underneath the car as there was no outlet for it since there was so much.
Tonight I envisioned God opening up His grace and covering me with it. He pours it out and there is so much that I can't absorb it all. There is so much that even if I wipe it away I am instantly covered again. It collects beneath my feet because I don't soak it all up nor does it disappear as soon as it drips from me. I can splash in it. Sometimes it may feel like God only gave us a drizzle, but I really do think that it is more a steady, unrelenting rain.
On June 1st, I found myself in an interesting position. I left work frustrated with my boss because her procrastination caused me to pick up the pieces again. So instead of heading home I had to run an errand in the opposite direction. While I stood in Staples it downpoured and hailed outside. I rushed through the rain to get home and came to an abrupt stop because of heavy traffic only about a mile from home. I figured there was flooding and switched on the radio. There may have been flooding but the delay was due to a tornado that danced through West Springfield, Springfield, and eventually out to Monson. It took me seven hours to get home that night. As hungry and frustrated as I was when I got home, it all dissipated the next day when I realized the 3.86 mile drive from work to home had been the path the tornado took for about 2.5 of it.
At one point on Wednesday night I found myself on a road unable to go anywhere. The skies opened up and it torrential downpoured. I turned my car off to wait it out when it became evident we weren't going anywhere. The rain kept coming. Tonight as I listened to Grace Like Rain, I thought back to my experience on Wednesday night. His grace kept me safe but I observed a lot about rain that evening also.
While my car was running during the downpour the wipers couldn't keep up. Even on the highest setting they may as well not been on. The rain came down so swiftly that it looked like my car was underwater. Then the water built up underneath the car as there was no outlet for it since there was so much.
Tonight I envisioned God opening up His grace and covering me with it. He pours it out and there is so much that I can't absorb it all. There is so much that even if I wipe it away I am instantly covered again. It collects beneath my feet because I don't soak it all up nor does it disappear as soon as it drips from me. I can splash in it. Sometimes it may feel like God only gave us a drizzle, but I really do think that it is more a steady, unrelenting rain.
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