if I can remember all of them.
Today I'll be saying good-bye to an old friend. Mozzie has been around for almost three years. He and I have had some awesome adventures. Sadly the lease has come to an end and it is time to upgrade him. I wonder if this is how women with multiple husbands feel.
I had to clean him out last night. It is amazing what can accumulate in a car in three years. Even though he wasn't ever really cluttered it took a couple of trips to get everything out of him. Somehow I own three umbrellas and yet I never use one.
Remembering all my random thoughts for the past week might be harder than I thought.
Friday night was girl's night. It started with an ACS fundraiser and spilled into a dive bar. One of the other committee members is hosting a fundraiser at a bar that she used to work at. The problem with dive bars is the number of locals who have graduated from a couple of beers to six or eight a night. The progression may have been gradual but it reaches the point where peeps get handsy. It is even more amusing when they happen to be a politician.
Relay month is here. It is the final thirty days before Relay happens. It means a lot of preparation for a good event. I'm getting excited as this is the first year I'll be able to attend all 24 hours.
Scream 4 is playing in the background. I had forgotten how ridiculous these movies are. The sad thing is that they know it because someone did clue them in and yet they didn't make an effort to improve them.
This weekend will be the new cars first trip to my happiest place on Earth. My friend and I will be meeting to celebrate her birthday. I'm stoked. It is going to be a great day! We are going to see Iron Man 3.
I know there is a lot I'm forgetting. I guess I'll have to do mini updates as I remember. Right now it is time to go get ready for work. I've got to get through the next few hours before I can go get the new car. :)
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Popping In
Well, it has been a few days plus a few more. I've been out straight with American Cancer Society stuff and I've gotten a seasonal position that should last a few months.
I'm grateful this position is only seasonal. I'm grateful for the work and the opportunities that it presents, but I have to say I'm not sure how I would survive in this office if it turned out to be a long term employment offer. The focus of this company is a new field for me, but the work is your typical administrative duties. However, the woman I work in the office with is challenging. She's a wonderful person but our work styles don't mesh.
This is where I'm going to sound like I have zero patience and even less tolerance.
When describing to a friend tonight the unique challenges of working in this particular office, she told me I have an ability to see the bigger picture and plan everything out without reaching the moment of desperation that so many do. I've never looked at it that way before. I told her that I have an impatience when it comes to working with people who complain about what needs to be done instead of doing it.
As I said, J is a wonderful lady. She's kind and helpful and eager to learn. However her eagerness to learn is usually directed to growing her garden and not to getting the work in front of her done. She has a tendency to talk to customers who have their own work to do about anything but what really needs to be talked about. Then she'll sit and talk to me about how much work she has to do and that she'll never get it done. She also procrastinates on things and then panics when it all seems insurmountable to her. For instance today I hand wrote an address on an envelope for her because she hasn't had time to do it. The envelope has been waiting a few weeks to be addressed. I did it in thirty seconds. She doesn't manage her time well.
Today was particularly challenging as it was end of month. For anyone who works in an office where invoices and S&R is done, you know this is an important deadline. She complained all day that she'd be there late tonight. Well, part of her issue is procrastination and poor clock management. If she coached an NFL team the fans would be pleading for her to be fired as the clock ticked down to :00 and she sat on three timeouts.
I sat at my desk doing the work that was assigned to me so that I could close out my portion of end of month. I answered phones and hefted part of her workload so that she'd gain ground on her "To Do" pile. I actually had to leave today though so she could get some work done. If I was sitting there she'd start talking to me about nothing work related. A lot of internally humming was going on in my head today.
Relay for Life
We are amping up for Relay for Life. It is just over a month away and there is a lot of work to do. On Saturday was Survivor Breakfast. Survivor Breakfast is one of those moments in which you sit back and really admire the human spirit. Every survivor in that room had a tale to tell of the hell they had been through from the shock of the first diagnosis to the exhaustion of the battle to the elation when they received the "all clear." I'm in awe of the beauty of human spirit and how resilient it can be when there is support and love.
It really hit me especially since I'd been up until 1:30 that morning finishing the Survivor Video. I'd been working on it late as I watched the events unfold in Watertown. Boston will be stronger than ever because its citizens have come together and held each other up. Each survivor is stronger because of the love and support they received and when they come together they hold each other up. It is beautiful.
I leave you now with the video we closed out Survivor Breakfast with.
Disclaimer: there are photos here from other photographers and music from Destiny's Child. No infringement meant.
I'm grateful this position is only seasonal. I'm grateful for the work and the opportunities that it presents, but I have to say I'm not sure how I would survive in this office if it turned out to be a long term employment offer. The focus of this company is a new field for me, but the work is your typical administrative duties. However, the woman I work in the office with is challenging. She's a wonderful person but our work styles don't mesh.
This is where I'm going to sound like I have zero patience and even less tolerance.
When describing to a friend tonight the unique challenges of working in this particular office, she told me I have an ability to see the bigger picture and plan everything out without reaching the moment of desperation that so many do. I've never looked at it that way before. I told her that I have an impatience when it comes to working with people who complain about what needs to be done instead of doing it.
As I said, J is a wonderful lady. She's kind and helpful and eager to learn. However her eagerness to learn is usually directed to growing her garden and not to getting the work in front of her done. She has a tendency to talk to customers who have their own work to do about anything but what really needs to be talked about. Then she'll sit and talk to me about how much work she has to do and that she'll never get it done. She also procrastinates on things and then panics when it all seems insurmountable to her. For instance today I hand wrote an address on an envelope for her because she hasn't had time to do it. The envelope has been waiting a few weeks to be addressed. I did it in thirty seconds. She doesn't manage her time well.
Today was particularly challenging as it was end of month. For anyone who works in an office where invoices and S&R is done, you know this is an important deadline. She complained all day that she'd be there late tonight. Well, part of her issue is procrastination and poor clock management. If she coached an NFL team the fans would be pleading for her to be fired as the clock ticked down to :00 and she sat on three timeouts.
I sat at my desk doing the work that was assigned to me so that I could close out my portion of end of month. I answered phones and hefted part of her workload so that she'd gain ground on her "To Do" pile. I actually had to leave today though so she could get some work done. If I was sitting there she'd start talking to me about nothing work related. A lot of internally humming was going on in my head today.
Relay for Life
We are amping up for Relay for Life. It is just over a month away and there is a lot of work to do. On Saturday was Survivor Breakfast. Survivor Breakfast is one of those moments in which you sit back and really admire the human spirit. Every survivor in that room had a tale to tell of the hell they had been through from the shock of the first diagnosis to the exhaustion of the battle to the elation when they received the "all clear." I'm in awe of the beauty of human spirit and how resilient it can be when there is support and love.
It really hit me especially since I'd been up until 1:30 that morning finishing the Survivor Video. I'd been working on it late as I watched the events unfold in Watertown. Boston will be stronger than ever because its citizens have come together and held each other up. Each survivor is stronger because of the love and support they received and when they come together they hold each other up. It is beautiful.
I leave you now with the video we closed out Survivor Breakfast with.
Disclaimer: there are photos here from other photographers and music from Destiny's Child. No infringement meant.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Control
I've been browsing Twitter. It is an absolutely amazing window in the opinions of a sampling of people. Of course there are a few hot topics tonight but the one that seems to be jumping is gun control and the NRA's influence on Washington.
I'm not political. I don't respect politicians. I don't believe that any of them tell the truth. They allmislead lie to get a seat that they believe is a show of power. I don't know the full details of this bill that just got denied.
What I do know is that an awful lot of people are screaming about how Washington just killed our children and yet they support abortion. Can we talk hypocrisy? Apparently we want to control an inanimate object that isn't harmful to anyone unless a person wields it, but we don't want to police ourselves.
This is what it all comes down to me. We don't want to take responsibility for our actions/decisions. We want to ban an object that won't choose to harm anyone. We want to prevent access to an object so it can't be used to kill someone instead of holding ourselves accountable for hurting someone. Why aren't we teaching and exercising respect to each other. Let's teach our children to be kind. Let's stop supporting bullying and cruelty.
It is a sad state that our society is in. We deny everyone freedoms in order to prevent a few from perpetrating crimes. I have respect for life. Which is why it doesn't matter if I am handed a .45 or a tank, I won't take a life.
I'm absolutely not against stronger background checks for those buying guns. I am absolutely against the government taking control. There is a long list in history of why this can't happen. Let's not repeat the mistakes of those who gave their lives learning these lessons.
There are a lot of thoughts running through my mind, but I need to go write some things for ACS. I don't think we'll ever reach an acceptable compromise on gun control. There will always be one side or another screaming.
I'm not political. I don't respect politicians. I don't believe that any of them tell the truth. They all
What I do know is that an awful lot of people are screaming about how Washington just killed our children and yet they support abortion. Can we talk hypocrisy? Apparently we want to control an inanimate object that isn't harmful to anyone unless a person wields it, but we don't want to police ourselves.
This is what it all comes down to me. We don't want to take responsibility for our actions/decisions. We want to ban an object that won't choose to harm anyone. We want to prevent access to an object so it can't be used to kill someone instead of holding ourselves accountable for hurting someone. Why aren't we teaching and exercising respect to each other. Let's teach our children to be kind. Let's stop supporting bullying and cruelty.
It is a sad state that our society is in. We deny everyone freedoms in order to prevent a few from perpetrating crimes. I have respect for life. Which is why it doesn't matter if I am handed a .45 or a tank, I won't take a life.
I'm absolutely not against stronger background checks for those buying guns. I am absolutely against the government taking control. There is a long list in history of why this can't happen. Let's not repeat the mistakes of those who gave their lives learning these lessons.
There are a lot of thoughts running through my mind, but I need to go write some things for ACS. I don't think we'll ever reach an acceptable compromise on gun control. There will always be one side or another screaming.
Monday, April 15, 2013
April 15, 2013
Today's events will be added to the history books someday. As generations age 4/15/2013 will become a question on a "facts about me" email that will probably be shared by the newest social media sensation as 9/11 has become.
The following is literally going to count as ramblings because I'm not even sure what I want to say tonight.
On 9/11/2001 as the towers were hit and began to burn, I desperately wanted to drive to the airport and get on a plane. All flights were grounded out of concern for more attacks. This upset me because I didn't want to give them the satisfaction. I wasn't scared to fly. I was mad I couldn't fly and prove to the terrorists that they couldn't scare me.
Today I desperately wished I could get to Boston and run the marathon. After the explosions as they warned people away from Boston so the wounded could be helped and the perpetrators hunted, I wanted to run the 26.2 because the explosions were designed to cause fear.
I defy those who try to force me into fearing living. I will not live in fear. I will not wonder when you will strike next. The only way I know how to best you at this game is to live my life without concern for if you may be lurking around the corner. I won't allow your hate to drive out the love in my life.
My heart grieves as photos and videos surface, giving image to the horror that transpired. Families on Patriots Day cheering for runners who ran to raise money and awareness for a cause were torn apart. It sickens me that in the midst of selfless acts terror can create chaos.
I'm sure today isn't the last historical day that I'll see in my lifetime. Anniversaries are slowly overcoming the calendar as we remember victims of terror. I pray for everyone who has suffered from senseless acts of violence that they'll find peace. I pray they find forgiveness so the grief doesn't consume them. Mostly I pray that we can respect each other and put an end to the violence.
The following is literally going to count as ramblings because I'm not even sure what I want to say tonight.
On 9/11/2001 as the towers were hit and began to burn, I desperately wanted to drive to the airport and get on a plane. All flights were grounded out of concern for more attacks. This upset me because I didn't want to give them the satisfaction. I wasn't scared to fly. I was mad I couldn't fly and prove to the terrorists that they couldn't scare me.
Today I desperately wished I could get to Boston and run the marathon. After the explosions as they warned people away from Boston so the wounded could be helped and the perpetrators hunted, I wanted to run the 26.2 because the explosions were designed to cause fear.
I defy those who try to force me into fearing living. I will not live in fear. I will not wonder when you will strike next. The only way I know how to best you at this game is to live my life without concern for if you may be lurking around the corner. I won't allow your hate to drive out the love in my life.
My heart grieves as photos and videos surface, giving image to the horror that transpired. Families on Patriots Day cheering for runners who ran to raise money and awareness for a cause were torn apart. It sickens me that in the midst of selfless acts terror can create chaos.
I'm sure today isn't the last historical day that I'll see in my lifetime. Anniversaries are slowly overcoming the calendar as we remember victims of terror. I pray for everyone who has suffered from senseless acts of violence that they'll find peace. I pray they find forgiveness so the grief doesn't consume them. Mostly I pray that we can respect each other and put an end to the violence.
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Love As Yourself
Matthew 22:37-39
English Standard Version (ESV)
37 And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself."
During today's church service we looked at a Matthew 22:37-39 briefly. It got me to thinking are we loving each other as we would love ourselves? Maybe we are.
If I sat down to write a list of things that I like about myself, I don't think it would be longer than the list of things I don't like about myself. I can probably name ten things I'd change about myself in ten seconds and it would take ten minutes to find ten things I like. I'm much harsher on myself than I am on others. I see everything in me that lacks and often wonder what I have to offer. If this is the way in which I view myself then how do I view others? Have I bought into society's dictations on physical beauty and success? Am I weighing myself against these expectations and therefore also weighing others?
It all ties back into verse 37. If we love the Lord with all our heart, soul, and mind; then his Spirit dwells in us and we love as He does. We learn to walk in His grace and mercy and we extend that to the people in our lives. I can try to love as God loves me. In my humanness that is impossible. I must fill my heart, soul, and mind with the things of God so that He shines through me.
During today's church service we looked at a Matthew 22:37-39 briefly. It got me to thinking are we loving each other as we would love ourselves? Maybe we are.
If I sat down to write a list of things that I like about myself, I don't think it would be longer than the list of things I don't like about myself. I can probably name ten things I'd change about myself in ten seconds and it would take ten minutes to find ten things I like. I'm much harsher on myself than I am on others. I see everything in me that lacks and often wonder what I have to offer. If this is the way in which I view myself then how do I view others? Have I bought into society's dictations on physical beauty and success? Am I weighing myself against these expectations and therefore also weighing others?
It all ties back into verse 37. If we love the Lord with all our heart, soul, and mind; then his Spirit dwells in us and we love as He does. We learn to walk in His grace and mercy and we extend that to the people in our lives. I can try to love as God loves me. In my humanness that is impossible. I must fill my heart, soul, and mind with the things of God so that He shines through me.
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Critical Care
Critical Care by Candace Calvert
It took one night for nurse Claire Avery's life to change. She was on duty in the ER the night her brother was brought in. After his death she leaves for a new hospital and a new position that keeps her as far from the ER as possible. Her life is ER free until the day there is an explosion at a daycare center. The ER needs hands and Claire's are skilled. She's asked to return to the ER and her life isn't ever the same.
Dr. Logan Caldwell is feared and revered. The hospital staff respects his skills but his manner keeps them on their toes. He doesn't accept anything less than perfection and Claire is about to put her rusty skills to the test. She survives a shift in the vicinity of Logan but then goes toe-to-toe with him as she fights for counseling for the staff after the horrors they saw. Logan doesn't feel the same as Claire does about talking about feelings.
Again Calvert brings about the drama of the ER with the human doctors and nurses that carry the burden of saving lives and even losing lives.
It took one night for nurse Claire Avery's life to change. She was on duty in the ER the night her brother was brought in. After his death she leaves for a new hospital and a new position that keeps her as far from the ER as possible. Her life is ER free until the day there is an explosion at a daycare center. The ER needs hands and Claire's are skilled. She's asked to return to the ER and her life isn't ever the same.
Dr. Logan Caldwell is feared and revered. The hospital staff respects his skills but his manner keeps them on their toes. He doesn't accept anything less than perfection and Claire is about to put her rusty skills to the test. She survives a shift in the vicinity of Logan but then goes toe-to-toe with him as she fights for counseling for the staff after the horrors they saw. Logan doesn't feel the same as Claire does about talking about feelings.
Again Calvert brings about the drama of the ER with the human doctors and nurses that carry the burden of saving lives and even losing lives.
Friday, April 12, 2013
But God
You would think by now that I wouldn't be surprised. Yet here I sit, shocked at how amazing God works things out.
This week I had an opportunity to interview for a position. By all counts this job seemed to be something that I was wasting my time on interviewing for. It was below my pay range, farther from home than I'd like, and only temporary. However, to keep unemployment happy I haven't turned down an interview yet. I trotted myself out for this interview thinking there would be no reason they'd want me because of some prior commitments that would require time off.
Well, I was offered the position. Then I had a decision to make. Take this job, be employed, continue to look, and bring home less than I do on unemployment? Don't take this job, gamble on my unemployment being extended again, hope I get a job before the lease is up on my car, and keep applying to every place hiring?
Ultimately I took the job. Through the temp agency somethings were negotiated so I felt more comfortable with accepting the position. This all went down earlier this week.
Today I received a letter that unemployment was reducing benefits due to the federal budget cuts. With what was negotiated through the temp agency, I'm making more now working than I would have been on unemployment.
I've spent more than a few hours wondering what God has in store for me with being laid off and then struggling to find work. I've battled a lot of self-pity and muttered more than a few times "do You even have a plan for me?" I wish I could say that my faith remained steadfast and true but it shook in uncertainty at times. I held out hope but hope seems to burrow deeper with each moment the phone didn't ring with a job offer or a request for an interview.
But God
While my hope may have faded a bit and my faith grew shakier, He remained strong. He remained faithful. He remained my Provider. It was all in His timing and when I listened to His guiding, I find myself on the path that He has laid out for me.
This week I had an opportunity to interview for a position. By all counts this job seemed to be something that I was wasting my time on interviewing for. It was below my pay range, farther from home than I'd like, and only temporary. However, to keep unemployment happy I haven't turned down an interview yet. I trotted myself out for this interview thinking there would be no reason they'd want me because of some prior commitments that would require time off.
Well, I was offered the position. Then I had a decision to make. Take this job, be employed, continue to look, and bring home less than I do on unemployment? Don't take this job, gamble on my unemployment being extended again, hope I get a job before the lease is up on my car, and keep applying to every place hiring?
Ultimately I took the job. Through the temp agency somethings were negotiated so I felt more comfortable with accepting the position. This all went down earlier this week.
Today I received a letter that unemployment was reducing benefits due to the federal budget cuts. With what was negotiated through the temp agency, I'm making more now working than I would have been on unemployment.
I've spent more than a few hours wondering what God has in store for me with being laid off and then struggling to find work. I've battled a lot of self-pity and muttered more than a few times "do You even have a plan for me?" I wish I could say that my faith remained steadfast and true but it shook in uncertainty at times. I held out hope but hope seems to burrow deeper with each moment the phone didn't ring with a job offer or a request for an interview.
But God
While my hope may have faded a bit and my faith grew shakier, He remained strong. He remained faithful. He remained my Provider. It was all in His timing and when I listened to His guiding, I find myself on the path that He has laid out for me.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Everything is Perfect When You're a Liar 2
Everything is Perfect When You're a Liar
This was something to contemplate. I have no idea what the book is about. I didn't even read the synopsis. The title gave me enough to think on. I had two immediate thoughts 1) I know people like that and 2) I resemble that.
I resemble that title in one specific way. When someone asks me how I am my response is always "I am well and you?" It is almost second nature. It isn't that I choose to lie to them, but I don't choose to burden them with my drama. I don't like drama but sometimes you get pulled in.
*One of my favorite people on this planet has a saying. "I leave the drama to TNT, they know drama." Makes me smile every time she pulls that one out.*
It isn't that I am a liar, it is that I don't open up and unload on everyone. I have a few friends who spill their life story every time someone speaks to them. I just stand there internally shaking my head and rolling my eyes. So even during these months of unemployment when I was wondering if I'd ever find a job again, I was fine. On the nights when I feel particularly lonely or bored, I am fine. When someone stirs up drama in my life and I'd rather live isolated on an island, I am fine.
It set me to thinking though about honesty. The mail man doesn't need to know that I contemplated selling everything on Ebay and relocating. However, if I can't be honest with those closest to me then I can't expect them to understand why I might be quieter than usual. It has taken me a few years to recognize that life not being perfect isn't a sign of being an imperfect person. As I've gotten older, I've begun to embrace the imperfections in my own life. I've accepted other's imperfections for as long as I can remember. I've chosen to live a life of not judging people, yet I was the harshest judge when assigning blame in my own life.
I'm employed. I have a temporary assignment that has come at the right time. I'm still battling the desire to move. I don't know if western Mass has anything for me. I don't know if I want to leave western Mass. I have three months to determine should I stay or should I go. In the mean time, I'm going to try to remember to be transparent with those who can offer me advice, will pray for me, and who are willing to listen because they care.
Everything is Perfect When You're a Liar
Let me start by telling you a funny story. After months of unemployment, I accepted a temporary position. This is great news and something that I am extremely grateful for as I was ready to go back to work within weeks of being laid off. When I told one of my friends she suggested we celebrate. I agreed to meet her at the mall. Well, wouldn't you know she went to one mall and I went to another. No lie. I got us a booth at the mall I was at and she got us a booth at the mall she was at. We spoke on the phone from fifteen miles apart. True story.
After that funny mis-communication, I headed to the bookstore. Another fact about me is that I am mourning the slow death of bookstores. As I've mentioned previously, I accept all the conveniences of e-books, but there is nothing like walking into a store with hundreds of books. Without a book to purchase in mind, I wandered aimlessly through the shelves. Sometimes I'd stop and check out a cover based on its art or title. Then I stumbled upon a book with a title that made me literally stop and stare at it.
Everything is Perfect When You're a Liar
This was something to contemplate. I have no idea what the book is about. I didn't even read the synopsis. The title gave me enough to think on. I had two immediate thoughts 1) I know people like that and 2) I resemble that.
I know people like that. It isn't that they are malicious liars but they lie all the time. They are chronic social media liars. One of my friends was described as "sunshine and rainbows and a perfect world" at a party one time and if you read her Facebook that is what you'd believe her world was. She has the "perfect" everything - husband, kids, car, house, pets, wardrobe, job, friends, hair, sink, shower, stove, fridge, mold in the shower. The list goes on forever. However, two minutes after posting a Facebook status about how wonderful life is, she is on the phone with me telling me how difficult her husband is, her kids colored on the wall, she hasn't showered in three days, and her car is officially an expensive lawn ornament.
Which is her reality?
I believe she is grateful for her husband, loves her kids, is thankful for the house and vehicles. She just takes her social media status to a whole new extreme. She's competing with the Joneses. She isn't competing with their life though she is competing with their virtual life. The projection that social media can give off. It is that image that crops out the busted appliances and growing credit card bills. It is the profile picture of a family that adores each other when really the kids have been bribed to sit close enough to get everyone in frame.
I'm not a fan of the chronic complainer either. The person who posts about how life is out to get them like the 14th sequel to Scream. From their Facebooks you'd never believe they have money, you'd think they were minutes away from starving to death, sleep deprivation was 48 hours ago, and they've walked to school uphill both ways barefoot.
There has to be a balance. Somewhere you can accept life's challenges without complaining. You can also be a contender against life's challenges without losing face.
Everything is Perfect When You're a Liar part 2
Code Triage
Code Triage by Candace Calvert.
I need to be fair to this book and let you know that I did my version of speed reading for portions of this book. Which means I skimmed some paragraphs and at times chapters. I may someday go back and reread, but I finished the book last night and I don't feel the urge today.
Leigh Stathos has returned to San Francisco to help her sister get clean. While Caroline is in rehab Leigh plans on selling her house, divorcing her husband, and finding a new city to live in. As an ER doctor there are plenty of cities she can choose from where she won't run into her ex-husband, Nick, a SF police officer or the woman he cheated on her with. Unfortunately before Leigh can get out of town, she finds herself working with Nick and Sam. Through the trauma of an ER and the roller coaster of her personal life, we follow Leigh as she discovers the meaning of the word "forever."
Calvert writes an interesting tale. Although the last chapter is predictable from the first chapter, she weaves in the excitement of life in the ER. The problem I had in reading Code Triage was that we ventured inside Sam's head. Sam is your typical soap opera character. She's a woman who believes she can love another woman's husband better. We venture into her conniving mind and really I could have done without her internal monologue as she chooses a new father for her daughter. Sam goes out of her way to sabotage Leigh and Nick's attempts to reconcile. Of course by the end Sam is apologizing and realizing she never stood a chance. It was a bit too cliche for me. I would have appreciated reading about her attempts in a "show don't tell" approach.
I did enjoy the epilogue as a few characters returned and we were able to glimpse to see where their journeys had brought them.
I need to be fair to this book and let you know that I did my version of speed reading for portions of this book. Which means I skimmed some paragraphs and at times chapters. I may someday go back and reread, but I finished the book last night and I don't feel the urge today.
Leigh Stathos has returned to San Francisco to help her sister get clean. While Caroline is in rehab Leigh plans on selling her house, divorcing her husband, and finding a new city to live in. As an ER doctor there are plenty of cities she can choose from where she won't run into her ex-husband, Nick, a SF police officer or the woman he cheated on her with. Unfortunately before Leigh can get out of town, she finds herself working with Nick and Sam. Through the trauma of an ER and the roller coaster of her personal life, we follow Leigh as she discovers the meaning of the word "forever."
Calvert writes an interesting tale. Although the last chapter is predictable from the first chapter, she weaves in the excitement of life in the ER. The problem I had in reading Code Triage was that we ventured inside Sam's head. Sam is your typical soap opera character. She's a woman who believes she can love another woman's husband better. We venture into her conniving mind and really I could have done without her internal monologue as she chooses a new father for her daughter. Sam goes out of her way to sabotage Leigh and Nick's attempts to reconcile. Of course by the end Sam is apologizing and realizing she never stood a chance. It was a bit too cliche for me. I would have appreciated reading about her attempts in a "show don't tell" approach.
I did enjoy the epilogue as a few characters returned and we were able to glimpse to see where their journeys had brought them.
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Remember that venting that I did?
I vented about a situation a few days ago. I didn't go into details because there is a chance that someday that person may end up reading this blog if she doesn't already. It would no doubt send her into tears if I was to put it all out there. Just remember that the incident that was the catalyst for that rant was inconsequential if not for her picking at it.
Tonight it was resurrected. I thought it was dead but remember that comment about picking at it? Through text it was resuscitated. I did my best to politely diffuse the situation but (if I knew how to type out the sound that nails make when they are used to scratch something I would insert them here). I did my best to remain calm and rational. However, it wasn't meant to be.
By nature I am not a mean person. I made a decision long ago to treat each person with respect and kindness. My goal in life is to build someone up. At my funeral I want people to be able to say "she was always nice to me." It doesn't matter who you are. I don't get joy out of hurting your feelings, making you cry, upsetting you, arguing with you, etc.
The texting wouldn't stop. I eventually had to be firm which I knew would make this individual cry. In the nearly five years that I have known her, I have taken extra care to be aware of her overly sensitive feelings. She'll cry over things that have nothing to do with her and yet she makes everything about her. Many have abandoned their friendship with her because their patience ran out. It takes a lot of effort to spend time with her. I was polite but firm. I didn't call her names but I told her that she was creating an issue and if she'd just back off it would all be ok. The picking continued. I then explained that it really needed to be dropped because this was all pointless.
Well, it has been silence since. I'm grateful for the silence because it means that this situation isn't being discussed still. However, now I feel guilty. I know I shouldn't because I didn't say anything inappropriate or mean. As a matter of fact I know I was kinder than some who have had confrontations with her in the past. I've witnessed people be far worse to her. It is my own head that is demanding I apologize. I don't know how I'd phrase the apology. I can't apologize for what I've said because it wasn't wrong. I don't know if I should apologize for upsetting her because she certainly won't apologize for adding to the stress in my life with the completely unnecessary picking.
I'm sure the next time we see each other I will end up apologizing somehow. I'm a peacemaker by nature. It sucks though because it seems like there is always that little angry North Korean looking to lob nukes at you just to get his fifteen minutes.
Tonight it was resurrected. I thought it was dead but remember that comment about picking at it? Through text it was resuscitated. I did my best to politely diffuse the situation but (if I knew how to type out the sound that nails make when they are used to scratch something I would insert them here). I did my best to remain calm and rational. However, it wasn't meant to be.
By nature I am not a mean person. I made a decision long ago to treat each person with respect and kindness. My goal in life is to build someone up. At my funeral I want people to be able to say "she was always nice to me." It doesn't matter who you are. I don't get joy out of hurting your feelings, making you cry, upsetting you, arguing with you, etc.
The texting wouldn't stop. I eventually had to be firm which I knew would make this individual cry. In the nearly five years that I have known her, I have taken extra care to be aware of her overly sensitive feelings. She'll cry over things that have nothing to do with her and yet she makes everything about her. Many have abandoned their friendship with her because their patience ran out. It takes a lot of effort to spend time with her. I was polite but firm. I didn't call her names but I told her that she was creating an issue and if she'd just back off it would all be ok. The picking continued. I then explained that it really needed to be dropped because this was all pointless.
Well, it has been silence since. I'm grateful for the silence because it means that this situation isn't being discussed still. However, now I feel guilty. I know I shouldn't because I didn't say anything inappropriate or mean. As a matter of fact I know I was kinder than some who have had confrontations with her in the past. I've witnessed people be far worse to her. It is my own head that is demanding I apologize. I don't know how I'd phrase the apology. I can't apologize for what I've said because it wasn't wrong. I don't know if I should apologize for upsetting her because she certainly won't apologize for adding to the stress in my life with the completely unnecessary picking.
I'm sure the next time we see each other I will end up apologizing somehow. I'm a peacemaker by nature. It sucks though because it seems like there is always that little angry North Korean looking to lob nukes at you just to get his fifteen minutes.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Pardon me, I'm going to vent.
I'm a patient person. Some have jokingly nominated me for sainthood because of what appears to be an unending supply of patience. I've always accepted people for who they are and understood we all have quirks. However, today I may have gotten a bit more hot under the collar than I normally do.
The entire incident that went down was beyond stupid. It doesn't even qualify for stupid. It was pointless and unnecessary exasperated by one individual's immaturity and need to be the center of attention. However, it was escalated through social media. I'm not a fan of airing your dirty laundry through social media. My goal with using social media is to enrich, encourage, enlighten, and prove that I am as crazy as they say I am.
I don't believe "grrr" is a word. I don't support those who use social media to bully or abuse others. I'm against the ambiguous posts that air dirty laundry but are just vague enough that they don't give details, but give enough clues so everyone knows what you are talking about. I don't think the rest of the world wants their good days to be brought down by my complaining. I also don't think everyone wants to know each calorie I ate, when I sneezed last, if I had a bowel movement today, if I used deodorant, or if I brushed my teeth. I also don't believe in allowing you to believe my life is so perfect that trouble runs the other way from me.
I've taken a break from social media before. It might be time to give Twitter and Facebook a nap. The other day someone told me that they gave up social media for Lent and they enjoyed it so much they haven't returned. I'll keep blogging because blogging is writing and writing is my life.
The entire incident that went down was beyond stupid. It doesn't even qualify for stupid. It was pointless and unnecessary exasperated by one individual's immaturity and need to be the center of attention. However, it was escalated through social media. I'm not a fan of airing your dirty laundry through social media. My goal with using social media is to enrich, encourage, enlighten, and prove that I am as crazy as they say I am.
I don't believe "grrr" is a word. I don't support those who use social media to bully or abuse others. I'm against the ambiguous posts that air dirty laundry but are just vague enough that they don't give details, but give enough clues so everyone knows what you are talking about. I don't think the rest of the world wants their good days to be brought down by my complaining. I also don't think everyone wants to know each calorie I ate, when I sneezed last, if I had a bowel movement today, if I used deodorant, or if I brushed my teeth. I also don't believe in allowing you to believe my life is so perfect that trouble runs the other way from me.
I've taken a break from social media before. It might be time to give Twitter and Facebook a nap. The other day someone told me that they gave up social media for Lent and they enjoyed it so much they haven't returned. I'll keep blogging because blogging is writing and writing is my life.
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Most Anticipated of the Year
Can we just talk for a minute about the label "Most Anticipated Novel of the Year!" I recently saw an advertisement for a new book by an author and I realized for the past five years every one of her books has been labeled "most anticipated."
Oddly enough I stopped reading her books nearly two years ago. Her writing had become the "most repetitive" ever in my opinion. I gave up when I realized I was paying for a new book and the story wasn't progressing any further than it had at the end of the last book. She'd create series out of story ideas that would have been better off as a standalone. I got tired of forking over my dough for a rinse and repeat.
In all honesty, I also had to unlike her Facebook page. This is where every novel she writes it branded "most anticipated." I got tired of the over hype and then the disappointment when I finished another book and wondered why I'd spent the time and money. She also clogged my newsfeed with promos for her book every fifteen minutes.
I may have been adding to the anticipation for her next book. I was anticipating the down time between release dates when my newsfeed would go strangely silent.
I guess that is the life of an author.
Oddly enough I stopped reading her books nearly two years ago. Her writing had become the "most repetitive" ever in my opinion. I gave up when I realized I was paying for a new book and the story wasn't progressing any further than it had at the end of the last book. She'd create series out of story ideas that would have been better off as a standalone. I got tired of forking over my dough for a rinse and repeat.
In all honesty, I also had to unlike her Facebook page. This is where every novel she writes it branded "most anticipated." I got tired of the over hype and then the disappointment when I finished another book and wondered why I'd spent the time and money. She also clogged my newsfeed with promos for her book every fifteen minutes.
I may have been adding to the anticipation for her next book. I was anticipating the down time between release dates when my newsfeed would go strangely silent.
I guess that is the life of an author.
Disaster Status
Disaster Status by Candace Calvert
This is the second book by Calvert that I've read. Her stories are an engaging twist of drama set in every day life and the medical field. Disaster Status concentrates on life in the ER. Erin Quinn is an ER nurse. She dedicates all her time to helping other - patients, her Nana, and her staff - all while doing her best to avoid her personal drama. Scott McKenna, a captain with the fire department, becomes a hurdle in her altruistic desire to help. When a chemical spill drives the number of people seeking medical attention to the ER, Scott threatens Erin's outlook on how far she can go to help.
As Scott and Erin dance around each other, Cody, Scott's nephew, waits to find out if he'll have his leg amputation due to an infection. Cody makes friends with Rich, a night employee at the hospital, when Scott throws himself into his work. Slowly Erin and Scott help each other realize they can't continue to run from the things in their lives that make them uncomfortable. They learn you have to have a little faith in someone and keep forgiveness handy.
Disaster Status was another entertaining ready by Calvert. Erin and Scott were on opposite ends of the spectrum in life. He carries guilt and feels he doesn't measure up to the legacy of his father. Erin strives to be perfect and leave behind the sadness of her childhood with a father who couldn't be relied on.
The best part of the book was actually in a gift that Nana gave to Erin. I'm not sure if Calvert wrote the following but I found it to be beautiful.
"A strong woman works out every day . . .
but a woman of strength kneels to pray, keeping her soul in shape . . .
A strong woman isn’t afraid of anything . . .
but a woman of strength shows courage in the midst of her fear . . .
A strong woman won’t let anyone get the best of her . . .
yet a woman of strength gives her best to everyone . . .
A strong woman makes mistakes and avoids the same for tomorrow . . .
a woman of strength realizes life’s mistakes . . . thanking God for the blessings as she capitalizes on them . . .
A strong woman walks headfirst with no doubt in her mind . . .
but a woman of strength knows God will catch her when she falls . . .
A strong woman wears the look of confidence on her face . . .
but a woman of strength wears grace . . .
A strong woman has faith that for the journey she’ll have enough . . .
but a woman of strength knows it’s in the journey she will become strong.”
This is the second book by Calvert that I've read. Her stories are an engaging twist of drama set in every day life and the medical field. Disaster Status concentrates on life in the ER. Erin Quinn is an ER nurse. She dedicates all her time to helping other - patients, her Nana, and her staff - all while doing her best to avoid her personal drama. Scott McKenna, a captain with the fire department, becomes a hurdle in her altruistic desire to help. When a chemical spill drives the number of people seeking medical attention to the ER, Scott threatens Erin's outlook on how far she can go to help.
As Scott and Erin dance around each other, Cody, Scott's nephew, waits to find out if he'll have his leg amputation due to an infection. Cody makes friends with Rich, a night employee at the hospital, when Scott throws himself into his work. Slowly Erin and Scott help each other realize they can't continue to run from the things in their lives that make them uncomfortable. They learn you have to have a little faith in someone and keep forgiveness handy.
Disaster Status was another entertaining ready by Calvert. Erin and Scott were on opposite ends of the spectrum in life. He carries guilt and feels he doesn't measure up to the legacy of his father. Erin strives to be perfect and leave behind the sadness of her childhood with a father who couldn't be relied on.
The best part of the book was actually in a gift that Nana gave to Erin. I'm not sure if Calvert wrote the following but I found it to be beautiful.
"A strong woman works out every day . . .
but a woman of strength kneels to pray, keeping her soul in shape . . .
A strong woman isn’t afraid of anything . . .
but a woman of strength shows courage in the midst of her fear . . .
A strong woman won’t let anyone get the best of her . . .
yet a woman of strength gives her best to everyone . . .
A strong woman makes mistakes and avoids the same for tomorrow . . .
a woman of strength realizes life’s mistakes . . . thanking God for the blessings as she capitalizes on them . . .
A strong woman walks headfirst with no doubt in her mind . . .
but a woman of strength knows God will catch her when she falls . . .
A strong woman wears the look of confidence on her face . . .
but a woman of strength wears grace . . .
A strong woman has faith that for the journey she’ll have enough . . .
but a woman of strength knows it’s in the journey she will become strong.”
Friday, April 5, 2013
Face of Betrayal
Face of Betrayal by Lis Wiehl
This is the first book by Wiehl that I have read. I purchased a few of her books because she came highly recommended. I know why.
Katie Converse is home for the holidays from DC where she has been acting as a Senate page. One morning she takes her sister's dog, Jalapeno, for a walk and never returns. The search is on for the 17 year old and the part the Senator who sponsored her played in her disappearance.
Allison Pierce, a federal prosecutor, is 1/3 of the Triple Threat Club. After asking for the case, Allison teams with Nicole Hedges, FBI Agent, to find Katie and build a case against Senator Fairview. Rounding out the club is Cassidy Shaw, news reporter, determined to keep Katie on everyone's mind and get her big break with the national story.
Wiehl writes a compelling book. Her experience as a prosecutor gives Face of Betrayal an authenticity that is lacking in many crime novels. She draws from her experience as a CNN correspondent and her father's days in the FBI to ensure the story is covered from all three angles.
There are times where it gets a bit too technical. For instance some fat could be trimmed when talking about the make up that news crews must wear on HD TV. The story flows though from beginning to end. Will Katie be found alive? Did the Senator have anything to do with her death? Amidst the search for Katie, life still goes on for Allison, Nicole, and Cassidy. There is good news and bad news and day-to-day happenings that catch their attention.
My biggest complaint is that I purchased the e-book. I don't know if I am just old school and refusing to adapt to the new technology or if there is truly something wrong with the formatting of some books. Scene changes and time changes don't seem to be clearly marked. I often have to go back and read a paragraph or two again to clarify because it wasn't meant to be part of the previous section. It may just be my bias but with a book as well-written and fast-paced as Face of Betrayal, you want to keep reading and not taking a break because of annoyance with formatting.
This is the first book by Wiehl that I have read. I purchased a few of her books because she came highly recommended. I know why.
Katie Converse is home for the holidays from DC where she has been acting as a Senate page. One morning she takes her sister's dog, Jalapeno, for a walk and never returns. The search is on for the 17 year old and the part the Senator who sponsored her played in her disappearance.
Allison Pierce, a federal prosecutor, is 1/3 of the Triple Threat Club. After asking for the case, Allison teams with Nicole Hedges, FBI Agent, to find Katie and build a case against Senator Fairview. Rounding out the club is Cassidy Shaw, news reporter, determined to keep Katie on everyone's mind and get her big break with the national story.
Wiehl writes a compelling book. Her experience as a prosecutor gives Face of Betrayal an authenticity that is lacking in many crime novels. She draws from her experience as a CNN correspondent and her father's days in the FBI to ensure the story is covered from all three angles.
There are times where it gets a bit too technical. For instance some fat could be trimmed when talking about the make up that news crews must wear on HD TV. The story flows though from beginning to end. Will Katie be found alive? Did the Senator have anything to do with her death? Amidst the search for Katie, life still goes on for Allison, Nicole, and Cassidy. There is good news and bad news and day-to-day happenings that catch their attention.
My biggest complaint is that I purchased the e-book. I don't know if I am just old school and refusing to adapt to the new technology or if there is truly something wrong with the formatting of some books. Scene changes and time changes don't seem to be clearly marked. I often have to go back and read a paragraph or two again to clarify because it wasn't meant to be part of the previous section. It may just be my bias but with a book as well-written and fast-paced as Face of Betrayal, you want to keep reading and not taking a break because of annoyance with formatting.
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
The Brotherhood
The Brotherhood by Jerry Jenkins
1st book in the Precinct 11 series
I'm going to be honest. It took me a while to make my way through this book. The beginning hooked me pretty quickly. Boone Drake is the kind of cop that every rookie should aspire to be. He's respected and he has a great life. His beautiful wife and son give his life joy and his career gives his life purpose. Until one day his wife and son are ripped away from him.
As expected this takes Boone on a journey. Unfortunately this is where I had trouble with the book. Boone struggles to make sense of life in the wake of his family's premature death. He picks himself up and attempts to find a reason to continue to live. The perfect life he had was shattered and he doesn't know where to turn. Eventually he returns to his duties as a cop and is given the assignment of a lifetime. He is going to be part of Chicago's largest operation to put an end crime syndicate.
I've been privileged to attend a few webinars as a member of the Christian Writers Guild. I've personally heard Jerry stress that you can't drag things out too long or treat your readers like they are stupid. Give them the benefit of the doubt and move the story along is how he stresses books should be written.
Sadly I feel that The Brotherhood doesn't follow Jerry's own advice. Boone's pain after losing his family was intense and I felt for him but then I continued to feel for him and then some more. The story didn't move until about the last third of the book. Even then the story was more conversation than action. It is a great story to be sure. Would have been better if about 50-75 pages had been edited out. Normally a Jerry Jenkins' book keeps my attention but I forced myself to finish The Brotherhood. I'm procrastinating on starting the next book in the series.
1st book in the Precinct 11 series
I'm going to be honest. It took me a while to make my way through this book. The beginning hooked me pretty quickly. Boone Drake is the kind of cop that every rookie should aspire to be. He's respected and he has a great life. His beautiful wife and son give his life joy and his career gives his life purpose. Until one day his wife and son are ripped away from him.
As expected this takes Boone on a journey. Unfortunately this is where I had trouble with the book. Boone struggles to make sense of life in the wake of his family's premature death. He picks himself up and attempts to find a reason to continue to live. The perfect life he had was shattered and he doesn't know where to turn. Eventually he returns to his duties as a cop and is given the assignment of a lifetime. He is going to be part of Chicago's largest operation to put an end crime syndicate.
I've been privileged to attend a few webinars as a member of the Christian Writers Guild. I've personally heard Jerry stress that you can't drag things out too long or treat your readers like they are stupid. Give them the benefit of the doubt and move the story along is how he stresses books should be written.
Sadly I feel that The Brotherhood doesn't follow Jerry's own advice. Boone's pain after losing his family was intense and I felt for him but then I continued to feel for him and then some more. The story didn't move until about the last third of the book. Even then the story was more conversation than action. It is a great story to be sure. Would have been better if about 50-75 pages had been edited out. Normally a Jerry Jenkins' book keeps my attention but I forced myself to finish The Brotherhood. I'm procrastinating on starting the next book in the series.
Monday, April 1, 2013
Best If Used By
I'm going to put a word of advice here. Since I've been burned by this more than a few times. When you are young, don't make fun of those a few years older than you. Weird crap will come out of their mouths but you just need to listen and not make fun of them. Otherwise a large "I told you so" will be coming at you.
When I was in my 20s and some woman would use the words "biological clock" I would promptly roll my eyes and mutter under my breath about nonsense. I never dreamed that one day I'd have those words echoing around in my head.
I don't feel old. I definitely don't act old. It isn't that I'm immature. I've been told since I was a teen that I'm mature for my age and I certainly haven't regressed. If anything I will admit to being too mature and therefore too independent. However, we aren't diagnosing all the reasons that I'm not married yet. There are some interesting theories out there but that is a topic for another day. I just feel like the clock has stopped ticking up to the day when marriage and children will happen to ticking down the time remaining on potential motherhood to pass me by.
So those words are bouncing around in my head and occasionally I hear them out of someone's mouth. Not usually mine although I have confessed to a couple of my friends the thoughts that have bounced in my head. I'm not saying my expiration date has passed but it feels like it is closer than I anticipated. I'd always dreamed I would be a young mother. The neighborhood soccer mom with cookies and pets and a front door that was open to anyone. Now friends a few years older than me are admitting they couldn't keep up with their kids if they were to start now. I even have a friend a few years younger who can't keep up with her kids now. Although I am not using her a measuring stick because really she would complain if she was 18, 28, or 38. Also I really believe that it is a choice how we approach life and the hurdles it throws at us. I'm more about embracing the circumstances that make it a challenge than complaining about it.
My maturity won't let me do anything drastic. My common sense won't let me do anything insane. Life will play out as it should. I won't sell myself on Ebay as I've jokingly threatened. I'm not going for online dating because I shop for books online not husbands. I'm not going to pull a Madonna and put out an ad.
This is more a confession that someone a decade younger than me can laugh at. The biological clock is tick tocking in my head. Think twice before you laugh at someone because your day might come.
When I was in my 20s and some woman would use the words "biological clock" I would promptly roll my eyes and mutter under my breath about nonsense. I never dreamed that one day I'd have those words echoing around in my head.
I don't feel old. I definitely don't act old. It isn't that I'm immature. I've been told since I was a teen that I'm mature for my age and I certainly haven't regressed. If anything I will admit to being too mature and therefore too independent. However, we aren't diagnosing all the reasons that I'm not married yet. There are some interesting theories out there but that is a topic for another day. I just feel like the clock has stopped ticking up to the day when marriage and children will happen to ticking down the time remaining on potential motherhood to pass me by.
So those words are bouncing around in my head and occasionally I hear them out of someone's mouth. Not usually mine although I have confessed to a couple of my friends the thoughts that have bounced in my head. I'm not saying my expiration date has passed but it feels like it is closer than I anticipated. I'd always dreamed I would be a young mother. The neighborhood soccer mom with cookies and pets and a front door that was open to anyone. Now friends a few years older than me are admitting they couldn't keep up with their kids if they were to start now. I even have a friend a few years younger who can't keep up with her kids now. Although I am not using her a measuring stick because really she would complain if she was 18, 28, or 38. Also I really believe that it is a choice how we approach life and the hurdles it throws at us. I'm more about embracing the circumstances that make it a challenge than complaining about it.
My maturity won't let me do anything drastic. My common sense won't let me do anything insane. Life will play out as it should. I won't sell myself on Ebay as I've jokingly threatened. I'm not going for online dating because I shop for books online not husbands. I'm not going to pull a Madonna and put out an ad.
This is more a confession that someone a decade younger than me can laugh at. The biological clock is tick tocking in my head. Think twice before you laugh at someone because your day might come.
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