Saturday, September 23, 2000

Paradise

He offered me the world. He said he would bottle joy and give it to me with his heart. My wish was his command like my own personal genie. I would want for nothing and my every need would be met.

Why then can't I accept his heart and the promises? It would be close to paradise wouldn't it? I mean what could be lacking? I would never need to lift a finger if I did not want to. These were not empty promises either so then what is the deal with my hesitation?

It would be one step down from paradise. It would not be a bad place but it would be lacking. There is so much more that I want.

I want a man whose eyes shine with his love for me. I want a man who supports my dreams. He would be loving and compassionate. His words would be laced with emotions for me. His actions sure signs that there were no others. Words will not be needed for us to communicate. His laughter will ring in my ears long after he is asleep. His cries will echo deep within my heart.

One step down from paradise might be here today. I would not need to work for it. It is here waiting for me to enter in and find my dwelling place. It would be comfortable and mine and all I need to do is accept the proposal.

I am sorry, I know this is cruel. I might be labeled a player or tease for this but I can not accept. It may be years before you understand or I find my paradise. I am willing to wait. I will hold out for the day when I am standing outside paradise because if I settle for second best than he would too.