Because my mind won't shut up

and people keep doing things to set off more thoughts.

There are days I wish I could sit down and speak with Adam Cappa. He's very caught up in posting about relationships. While I admire his focus on God, he has a running theme regarding relationship memes.

I know my confidence comes from God. My parents raised me to read my Bible and attend church not plaster boybands on my walls and attend concerts. They wanted my foundation to be in Christ. They never wanted my identity to be bound to another human being.

Apparently though my confidence/strength in God has caused an intimidating personality. I'm still trying to find a Biblical answer to balance out confidence in Christ and an approachable spirit. I'm not even sure how to identify the two aspects. I can't say kindness or gentleness because I do believe I possess those traits. Apparently I am only a threat to guys interested in dating me. Despite my insecurities I apparently don't need to lose some weight or dress differently to be physically attractive. If I was diagnosed properly the other day, it isn't my physical body at all which is the deterrent. It is me - the inner workings of my mind, the character traits I've acquired, and the knowledge I've gained.

Insecurity says it isn't the outside which isn't please to men; it is the inside.

Which blows everything out of the water for me. Because while I've been fighting the physical attraction battle. Apparently I should lay down my sword and surrender because I need a guy who is going to react phyically to me because everything else isn't a good package.

The cartwheels are now somersaults.

Damsel In Distress

otherwise known as working things out in my head.

I haven't been reading much recently. First there hasn't been much time. Work has been beyond busy. Second honestly despite some of my favorite authors having new releases, I am just not interested.

I'm still working on a project, but I'm stalled. It isn't writer's block, but a lack of focus. The completion of this project probably won't reduce the terrifying aspect of me nor have me branded a hopeless romantic.

In the same conversation I was informed I am terrifying, I was also told I am not a romantic. Oddly enough I began to think about many of the books I immerse myself in. I enjoy almost everything by Susan May Warren and I enjoyed the The Heart of a Hero series. A romantic heart does beat in my chest. I also find though many woman can write romantic stories which can captivate a woman.

Let's lay it on the line though. Most authors don't write books about 5'10" sturdy girls (aka not Victoria Secret model material) who know more about football than most men. When you factor in the independence and confidence, you don't have a good damsel in distress. If an author writes about a woman nearly six feet tall then the male lead is at minimum 6'2". A lot of the times the male lead is almost a foot taller than the female lead and strong. He's the anchor when the wind threatens to blow her anorexic butt off the ground.

Then you have some type of tragedy which sends the girl into DID (damsel in distress) mode. A death, car accident, horrible break up, etc are the catalyst for the woman needing a man to be her strength. I'd rather not have to attend a funeral for a guy to witness my tears and swoop in and save me. I can't think of who I'd sacrifice in order to gain a Prince Charming.

Where are the stories about a relationship which occurs organically? Why does true love only happen after someone has been kidnapped? Why must my soul mate be waiting for me at the site of a plane crash?

You're confident.

Can I tell you a secret? I was told my confidence is intimidating to the male species. The secret is I'm confident despite my many insecurities.

A friend informed me I scare him and I terrify a friend of his. I've spent weeks trying to wrap my mind around why. The other day I was told it is because I'm confident. Apparently confidence is one of those PC answers people give when asked what they find sexy in someone they are attracted to. It sounds good when you say it, but when confronted with someone who is confident most people have no idea what to do. The Knights in Shining Armor seek out their Damsels in Distress because it strokes the male ego.

The truth of the matter is I'm confident, but a lot of my confidence comes from the reality of I live without being someone's other half. I was raised to not seek the approval of others. My parents brought me up to honor God in all I do. Which means I haven't changed myself in order to gain the attention of someone I'm attracted to. My purpose in life is not to land a man, but to bring glory to God. In thirty-four years I've spent more time handling everything than I have being taken care of.

Side story: I was about 25 when a woman well into her forties wanted to know if I was married. I told her I wasn't. She wanted to know if I was engaged. I told her I wasn't. She wanted to know how long I had been with my boyfriend. I told her I didn't have one. She was amazed because I was "so content" for being single. I was completely baffled at the time. She was on a date with one of my co-workers who she met while she was on a date with someone else. She left with my co-worker while her date was in the bathroom. I couldn't relate to her at all.

Tonight I'm sitting here as my thoughts do a complete floor routine in my head. When I think I've got it all figured out I realize I'm cartwheeling and my feet are off the ground.

A few months ago I was introduced to a guy. He seemed like a great guy. We had great conversation and a great time when we were together. However, I could tell I was too much for him. My "confidence" was overwhelming to him. He needed someone who needed him as badly as he needed them. There was an awfully lot of needy in there. I wasn't the girl for him. I was upfront with him from the beginning about who I was, but he seemed convinced we'd be a good match. Until I didn't live up to the picture he had in his head. He disappeared in a cloud of dust. Didn't even bother to tell me why or let me know we'd be better of as friends. He simply went radio silent.

My confidence took a hit. Even though I knew we weren't going to be a forever couple, it hurts when you are rejected even if you know it is the right decision. However, it has set me into a tailspin. Because there is a guy who I could see myself spending a significant amount of time with and it having a different outcome. However, I guess I'd have to tone down who I am if I want him to approach me. Which I can't do. I briefly tried to be someone I wasn't and it didn't work for very long.

The truth is I want to be cared for. In some ways that does mean a mutual needing of each other. However, my confidence is a shield. Let's be honest. It is the truly cocky people who lack insecurity. It is the people who walk around believing they are better than everyone else who don't throw up shields. They have other issues to deal with. I do want someone despite at the moment not needing someone. It wouldn't be me though if I ran around throwing myself in the way of a runaway car so I could be rescued.

My confidence is my shield because it does hurt knowing the next few days I am going to be alone. It is lonely to a certain level. While I can enjoy some peace and quiet and maybe put the mental brakes on, the silence can grow deafening. It is painful to know there isn't someone out there who is willing to set aside some time to watch a movie or go to the store with me. No one is going to call because they simply want to be near me. Most of my friends are already with their families. The others will soon be so they are in the rush of holiday planning. The reality is I have to accept these facts. I could sit here and cry about it, but what will it accomplish? Someone won't magically appear to wipe my tears.

So rather than cry tears which will flow unseen, I'll remember I don't need a guy to affirm who I am. I'm not really terrifying. I'm just terrified to give in to the sadness which would overwhelm me if I dwelled on the empty space next to me.

The truth is I wish there was someone next to me. Someone wanting to be there. I wish someone would see beyond the confidence to the girl who would appreciate being cared for. However, I want them to want me for who I am and not for the less-confident-but-more-attractive version I sometimes consider conforming myself into.

This my friends is my confidence conundrum.

Bridge to Haven

Bridge to Haven by Francine Rivers

Francine Rivers is an author in a league of her own. Rivers takes excerpts of Scripture and writes a parable. Bridge to Haven is another to add to her stellar list of God-honoring, well-written works.

Abra is abandoned within minutes of her birth. The newborn is left under a bridge in the town of Haven. Pastor Ezekiel Freeman discovers her during his early morning prayer trek through town. Despite his wife's delicate health, the Freemans adopt Abra. Until Abra is five she knows nothing outside of having loving parents and a brother, Joshua. When Marianne Freeman dies, Pastor Zeke is forced to make the hardest decision of his life. He asks Priscilla and Peter to adopt her. Suddenly Abra has two parents and now a sister, yet her five year old  mind can't understand what she did wrong to make Zeke not want her anymore.

Thus begins a pattern in young Abra's life or so she sees. Penny, her newly adopted sister, soon becomes jealous of her. Zeke pulls himself farther away in order to make the transition easier for Abra. She only sees Josh on Sundays, and then he's drafted and away for three years. Despite the leading of the adults in her life, Abra can't understand why God would or should care about her. Her heart becomes ripe for the enemy's picking as her fears of abandonment blossom.

Cue Dylan. Dylan is the extremely handsome new boyfriend of Penny. Abra takes one look and she's both jealous and intrigued. It isn't long before Dylan drops Penny and challenges Abra to leave Haven behind. Her desire to be wanted and Dylan's smooth ways soon have her visiting the worst places California has to offer. Dylan keeps her around longer than he has any of his other conquests, but it more the challenge because Abra never adopts the attitude of worshiping Dylan. Eventually he does want to trade her out so she's passed over to another man.

Franklin Moss has other intentions for Abra besides the sexual pleasure Dylan sought. He sees potential in her to make money. Soon Abra Freeman is gone and Lena Scott is born. Her beauty captivates audiences as she begins making movies. However, Franklin's motives turn more selfish and he eventually marries her to control her.

After years of emotional, physical, and sexual abuse; Abra is ready to resurface. The foundation laid by Pastor Zeke and the people of Haven is still strong. Abra eventually leaves Hollywood behind with no destination in mind. A series of hardships fall on her and she ends up in the same town as Joshua Freeman who has spent five years praying she'd return to him. In a desperate attempt to get Josh to leave her alone, she confesses all her sins and only finds forgiveness. His forgiveness becomes the bridge to Haven.

Bridge to Haven is a masterful tale of the power of forgiveness and the lesson faithfulness. God's timing isn't always our and we can't always see His plan, but it is there and we need to trust. No matter how much sin separates us from God, the bridge to Him is the length of the cross. Always the length of the cross. The cross is never too short nor is it too long. It bridges the gap to His loving presence.

How Do You Serve?

There was a time when I could have cared less about politics and politicians. My attitude was they were elected they must know what they are doing so let them do their jobs. I turned 14 (rough estimate) and my attitude changed. My opinion on them was they are all liars, cheats, scum willing to sell their mother for a vote, and impotent (not in a way which can be solved by Viagra) although more than a few are creepy.

My opinion hasn’t changed much since I was 14. I believe now more than ever our elected officials are destroying the sandbox they are playing in. The problem is the sandbox they are playing in is my country. They are messing with the United States of America. Although we’ve really shortened it to America as we haven’t been united in a long time.

News channels run programming 24 hours a day and it is enough to make Pollyanna need anti-depressants. While every country has its ups and downs, we seem to be sliding down a steep slope of destruction. Some might say things could definitely be worse. We could be bombing our neighbors in retaliation for the bombs they dropped on us. I believe it is worse. We are destroying ourselves like a deadly disease from the inside and sometimes there is just stupidity among us.

I don’t believe we should introduce anarchy. We need laws, those who enforce the laws, and someone to guide us in the right direction. Although I still strongly believe it begins when we are taught respect as children. There needs to be an authoritative figure, but I also believe as citizens we have the right to question authority. I’d go so far as to say we have a responsibility to keep them in check. 

Right now America is spinning out of control. We don't know who to believe because we want to believe the best of our nation's leaders yet our citizens are dying on foreign soil as well as in our own country. Two sides blame each other instead of working together. If you have a different opinion than others, you will be discriminated against. Acceptance is taught but not offered. You can't take anything at face value because lies are spoken more frequently than the truth.

In the middle of it all a group of citizens is serving, fighting, and dying to preserve the integrity of this great nation. They believe in our country regardless of its current state and will give anything and everything to see it continue on. We are repaying them by laying them off and allowing them to die while waiting for medical treatment. It sickens me to think of how we are showing our gratitude. Politics creates chaos which in turn is harmful to all. 

Family folklore says my uncle enlisted and arrived three days before he was supposed to. They gave him a shovel and told him to move the pile of dirt from one spot to another. He did. They then told him to return the dirt to the original spot. He did. He went on to serve our country. They only needed to keep him busy until the rest of his group arrived. There was no rhyme or reason to what they'd asked him to do. I wouldn't have made it the three days. I'm opposed to wasted efforts and expending useless energy. I'd have never survived military life or I might have become the first person to break the drill instructors. However, it doesn't mean I can't serve my country.

I believe now more than ever citizens need to make a concentrated effort to educate themselves. I've heard ridiculous reasoning for why people vote (he had the cooler name, color of skin, he's from a particular state, the other guy talks funny) and reasons why people don't vote (couldn't find my polling place, didn't know what day it happened, my one vote doesn't matter). I wasn't wired to serve in the military. Ask anyone who knows me. I don't take orders well. I don't quietly perform superfluous duties. I question. I demand more. I want to dig deeper. Because I said so isn't an acceptable reason to me. 

My method of serving looks different. I don't salute or wear a uniform; good thing because I hate ironing and I can't imagine those military corners on bed sheets. I've adopted multiple soldiers over the years and subject them to my ramblings. I guess in the desert any letters regardless of how random they appear are welcome. I vote. I honor those who died and take inspiration from how they lived.

My service is I won't just ignore politics because I hate the players and the game. I won't blindly trust. I won't watch a rom-com instead of the news. Today's actions affect tomorrow and the days following. Opening our borders or closing our borders will have lasting effects. Trading terrorists for soldiers will impact our future. Allowing politicians to stranglehold our country while its citizens burn in others won't be tolerated. A government flexing its muscles like a frat boy trying to impress the sorority girl will be frowned on. 

I'll keep writing to soldiers deployed to deserts too. They make for a captive audience.  ;)

Like a dog with a bone

I'm not letting this go. Maybe I need to stop trying to improve my writing and just write. It wasn't long ago I was complaining about how books by Christian writers should be easily identifiable from works by authors without an element of faith. It went something like this.

Tonight I attended another webinar. i attempted to attend would be the correct statement. I may have missed some key information because my internet was spotty. I may need to retract everything I'm about to opine on. However, I don't think this will be the case.

There are too many statistics which prove the romance genre is what readers are choosing to argue against its merits. They are the best-sellers. Women purchase more books than men. Women read romance. Regardless of the genre they are reading, the stats tell us an element of romance is/should be included if you want to sell.

My question is should a Christian fiction writer include romance (outside the genre) in order to increase marketability?  I've never fit in as the target demographic. A good story doesn't have to be 25% romance to keep me intrigued.

Honestly, I think a lot of writers suck at writing romance. I've said it. There romances are cliched and recycled from other books/series. Writers use the same terms of endearments and it becomes cringe-inducing. Some writers use the same outline for their series. Each epilogue consists of a proposal/wedding/five years in the future with a house, white picket fence, 2.5 kids, and dog which follows 35+ chapters of intriguing action. While this is a great escape from real life, I find reading the same book with different characters to be a waste of time.

I'm more than halfway through a book which is a great read. The romance element is present. I think it detracts from the story. It isn't overabundant right now so if it doesn't get too heavy-handed it might not ruin the book. I'll give my opinion when I reach the end. However, the circumstances surrounding this "attraction" really isn't conducive to a blooming love. If this book's epilogue had a "six months later" and the main male character showed up to ask the female to dinner, I might buy that. However, I don't think this author can refrain from their love story beginning in the middle of manhunt.

I can see "attraction" beginning at inopportune times, but I do believe most adults are possible of realizing while people are shooting at you it isn't the time to trade favorites lists. I don't buy into the theory of you can't help who you fall in love with. I also don't believe you can't shut it down if the timing isn't right. A good story should be able to stand on its own without tonsil hockey and breathtaking beauty.

This will take more research. The Bible doesn't say "man will not be attracted to woman while their lives are threatened." However, I do believe our actions should glorify God. Therefore I would expect a Christian character in fiction to not be attracted to someone who is married. I would expect a Christian character to pursue God's will for their life in all aspects. Often the romantic aspect is overlooked because the guy is just that hot and the girl is just that intriguing.

I'm annoyed. It's ruining my appreciation of books. I'm disturbed by the counsel given by industry leaders which don't set themselves farther apart from books meant to titillate the world.

Firewall

Firewall by DiAnn Mills

Taryn Young has landed the perfect guy. Francis Shepherd fell into Taryn's life like a gift from God. He was everything she dreamed of and he swept her off her feet. The only thing standing between her and happily ever after is a dream honeymoon  until terrorists blow up the Houston airport. Now Mrs. Shepherd is 1/2 of a suspected terrorist duo who have killed American citizens.

Waking up in the Houston hospital, Taryn goes head-to-head with FBI Special Agent Grayson Hall. He's not convinced she knew nothing about her husband's plans nor how he left the airport just minutes before the bomb went off. Desperate Taryn escapes her hospital room to seek answers of her own. The next time she sees her husband he isn't the Prince Charming she dreamed of. He's the man who killed her best friend, kidnapped a child, and is using a gun to threaten Taryn.

Mills is the master of crafting a suspense, action-adventure. She weaved enough red herrings into this plot to keep the mastermind hidden from view until the last minute. Mills always writes must-reads.

My only nitpick is the "mastermind" appeared in chapters in the first person. This has become a new fad in writing and it irritates the appreciation right out of me. I tend to skip those chapters. Which means maybe I could have figured out who did it if I had read those pesky switched POV chapters. Skipping them didn't detract from my appreciation of the story so I 'm not factoring it into my rating.

Critical Pursuit

Critical Pursuit by Janica Cantore

Cantore brings another intense police adventure. Brinna Caruso was abducted as a child. The cop who found her, Milo, never rested until she was back home. Taking a page from his book, Brinna dedicates her life to finding missing children with her K-9 partner, Hero. An incident while on duty sidelines Hero and puts Brinna back on patrol with Jack O'Reilly. Jack is grieving his wife and unborn child killed by a drunk driver. Unable to go back to Homicide, O'Reilly took desk duty until he was told to return to Homicide or patrol.

Neither wants to be in a squad car with each other. Suddenly though their pasts catch up with them. Young girls are being abducted and Brinna is being taunted by the abductor. The driver who killed Jack's wife will be sentenced in two weeks. Brinna's mentor, Milo, passes away and her father is dying of cancer. There isn't time to face the past though when two young girls close to Brinna are abducted by the person who abducted her twenty years before.

Cantore delivers with real-life police situations and the application of where God fits in amidst tragedy.

When I Fall In Love

When I  Fall In Love by Susan May Warren

Warren has a way of telling a story which will completely gut you and fill you with hope simultaneously.  Grace Christiansen has a gift, but fear has sidelined her from experiencing the potential she possess. Max Sharpe lives life fearlessly on the hockey ice and off except when it comes to love. Their lives intertwined through Max’s former teammate and Grace’s brother, Owen, is about to clash. Max has no time for fear and Grace has no time for anything she fears. Until a vacation in Hawaii has them learning about more than just mixing ingredients which shouldn’t complement each other into gourmet meals.

While Grace and Max learn to overcome their fears, we are introduced to Casper Christiansen and Raina. I’m hoping a story for Casper is on the horizon although depending on what Warren does with Raina, we might be visiting Owen first. Either way I’m interested to see the next saga of the Christiansen family. Warren has a way of surprising you.

I don’t want to spend too much time on the story because if you enjoy a good novel, you don’t want to miss out on When I Fall In Love. However, I need to take a moment and recognize the gifting Warren has for intertwining story with lessons. Each of Warren’s novels has caused me to pause and reflect. When I Fall In Love resonated with me. Ten years ago I was Max, concerned less with the future and more with this present moment. These days I’m Grace, bogged down with responsibility of being dependable to those in my life. It isn’t just “falling in love” where Warren will challenge how you view life. The truth is there needs to be a balance. It is about marrying Max and Grace in our own lives so we glorify Christ with our eyes on eternity while not worrying about tomorrow.

A good story is a wonderful escape. You might find yourself in another country or falling for a man you wouldn’t in real life. A great story will do the same, but also challenge your way of thinking. Warren proves to be consistent with each novel.

Beauty - in all shapes and sizes

In argument of my last post concerning physical attractiveness, I give you Kyle Carpenter. Who was a good-looking guy when he entered the Marines. He's an amazing man after all he's been through.

Then we have a movement of beauty.

Visit help-portrait.

282,295 PORTRAITS GIVEN

HELP-PORTRAIT IS A GLOBAL MOVEMENT OF PHOTOGRAPHERS, HAIRSTYLISTS AND MAKEUP ARTISTS USING THEIR TIME, TOOLS AND EXPERTISE TO GIVE BACK TO THOSE IN NEED.

Writing for the soul? Writing for entertainment? Writing for the PG crowd?

Twice a month I attend a webinar on writing. Which is awesome. Tonight's was great. I found it very informative.

However, I also found it incredibly disappointing. I won't lie. I asked a question of the presenter which was answered at the end. As you can see from a post in April it is a topic which has been on my mind for a while.

I wanted to know what a Christian author could rely on besides overstating a character's physical attraction to make a "despicable" character likeable to their love interest. The answer in a nutshell was "it's risky to try making your character anything less than physically attractive because readers don't want unattractive characters."

We'll leave aside the fact this webinar was geared towards the Christian fiction writer which means the Christian fiction reader should be unique from the non-Christian reader.

The beauty of books is you can't "see" the characters. I can name attractive actors. I've gone to see movies just because an actor is in who I appreciate. Some actors I see their movies because of their talent. Some actors I see their movies because of their looks. Some actors I see their movies because of a balance of looks and talents. Let's be honest though not every good-looking person is a talented actor; not every talented actor is a good-looking person. I've found a good balance of both is rare. You don't really have to be a good actor to fight machine aliens shirtless though. You just need to clock decent time at the gym.

Beyond the fact you can't see a book character though, why does one have to be physically attractive for us to relate to them? I can't root for the slightly pudgy girl to get the guy? I can't hope the balding guy won't be turned down by the girl he's crushed on forever? If a writer has to rely on a strong jawline, perfectly ruffled hair, deep blue eyes, and a six pack to make the character our hero, I'd suggest they find a new line of work.

Why support Hollywood's presentation of a love story? We all can't wait for our Noah (Ryan Gosling) to sweep us off our feet. We all aren't Allie Calhoun (Rachel McAdams) choosing between Noah and Lon Hammond (James Marsden). Most of us will find our Fin (Kevin Connolly), a guy who next to Noah appears plain. It doesn't make him any less the right man for us.

I read Nicholas Sparks. More than a few of his books are on my shelf. However, when I read his books I can cast the inevitable movie. In the end his books are just longer versions of the movie script. His books are like eating rice cakes. They are an easy hour and a half away from daily life, but they don't satisfy the hunger.

The reality is we are all beautiful. The truth is we are all ugly. There are beautiful people with ugly souls.  There are unattractive people with beautiful souls.

I guess it isn't really writing for the soul. It is writing PG-rated love stories for the Christian reader.

There are so many thoughts running through my head, I'm losing coherency. I'm sure we'll revisit this topic. In the meantime...

"Excellence matters." Brandon Webb

FWIW the last guy I found ridiculously attractive, let's just say his character caught my attention first. My eyes eventually caught up but it was the person he is which I first noticed.

Here To Stay

Here To Stay by Melissa Tagg

I am so glad Tagg told Blake Hunziker’s story.

*ahem*

Blake Hunziker returns to his hometown of Whispering Shores five years after leaving to forget the painful memories of his brother, Ryan. Ryan’s death has simultaneously pushed Blake to a life of adventure while guilting him into leading a quiet life. After a fake marriage with a reality TV star, Blake returns home to face the wrath of his family.

Except wrath isn’t waiting for him when he opens his parent’s front door. Unexpectedly his parents couldn’t be happier to see him and Blake wasn’t prepared for their joyous response. At his father’s bidding Blake finds himself committing to reviving the Christmas Festival. Facing tinsel instead of a lynching mob has Blake overwhelmed, he turns to Autumn Kingsley to assist with the planning.

Autumn’s life is wrapped up in a not-so-perfect bow in Whispering Shores. Her family’s Inn is falling apart and one missed loan payment away from no longer being the family inn. Her not-so-secret dreams of leaving Whispering Shores are one letter away from coming true. If she can just get an investment, she can save the Inn and the jobs of her friends. When Blake shows up on her doorstep asking for her help, she agrees believing a successful festival will cement the chances of her departure.

What follows is a fun and charming story. Made To Last was a cute story, but Here To Stay was memorable. A good writer tells a story. A great writer makes you part of the story. I was engulfed in Here To Stay. I wanted Autumn to realize her dreams of traveling. I wanted Blake to come home and finally shake off the guilt. I wanted them to be together. I’m curious to see what Tagg has planned next.  

Made To Last

Made To Last by Melissa Tagg

What does a woman who hosts a home repair show with slipping rating do to increase public interest? She introduces the husband she's spoken about for the past three years. What does a woman who hosts a home repair show do when there is no husband? She hires one to be a stand in for the press. What does a supremely private woman do to further help her struggling show? She allows a reporter to shadow her and compose a daily blog.

At least this is what Miranda Woodruff does when her show is threatened with cancellation. Only three people know the truth the husband she talks about so often was supposed to be the ex-fiance who walked out on her three years prior. She mistakenly believes Blake "Blaze" Hunziker is the former fiance, Robbie, and an idea is born.  Suddenly Randi's solitude in the mountains of North Carolina is overrun when reporter, Matthew Knox, moves in to a cottage on her property to observe her relationship with Blaze. The weight of the lie rests heavily on Randi's shoulders until it threatens to overwhelm her when Blaze, Matthew, and Robbie collide.

Made To Last was the first book by Tagg I've read. I enjoyed her voice and the authenticity she pens stories with. I would have appreciated a little more information on Blaze. I'm over the schtick of introducing a character and teasing their back story for the follow up novel. It tends to keep the character from being fleshed out.

Beside the one minor nitpick, I am looking forward to Tagg's next novel. Luckily for me it is Blaze's story. It's on to Here To Stay.

Undetected

Undetected by Dee Henderson

Gina Gray excels at everything academic she touches. Twenty-nine years old and she's a secret weapon for the U.S. Navy. She fails socially in her own mind. Freshly single with her thirtieth birthday around the corner, Gina recovers from her breakup at her brother's condo on a Navy base.

When she asks Jeff to consider introducing her to a few of his friends, Jeff immediately considers Mark Bishop. After consulting with Mark, Jeff introduces Gina to Daniel Field. As Gina and Daniel grow closer, Mark realizes his mistake.

While Gina struggles with determining her romantic future, her professional future stands on the cusp of a breakthrough. As Gina's discovery change the scope of modern warfare for the U.S. Navy, her personal life becomes a series of conflicting emotions. As Gina grows socially and determines the roles of the two men in her life, she becomes a national asset with long-reaching ramifications.

I was hesitant to invest in Undetected. I've loved Henderson's writing from the O'Malley series. She came back from her hiatus and lost the action-suspense which set her apart from most other writers. Her books have become light on action while increasing the number of pages.

Undetected was a wonderful read. While still light on the action-adventure, the characters and their journeys was compelling. Gina Gray is awkward with her relationships with men. She wants a straight-forward answer and direction. She's looking for honesty. Mark Bishop, a widower, is looking to be a good husband again. Daniel Field is hoping be a husband one day to the right woman.

Each character had flaws. While at times the characters can appear to be a bit too perfect, they are real. They struggle with their faith and hoping for a future. Gina tries to balance the responsibility of her naval discoveries and the insecurities she feels regarding every other aspect of her life. Once I opened the pages to Undetected I became lost in the story.

Raptor 6

Raptor 6 by Ronie Kendig

Kendig begins her third military series with Raptor 6 with Captain Dean Watters and his team in Afghanistan. A local school is blown up and when Dean and his team show up with an assist, he meets missionary Zahrah Zarrick. An American with Afghan bloodlines, Z is a contradiction who holds secrets which will make her a target either of her own people or the American soldiers fighting against terrorists. As their lives continue to intertwine and nefarious plans come to light, Dean battles his history as it shapes his future.

I enjoyed Raptor 6 more than Kendig's last tale in her Military Working Dog series. I connected with Dean and Z almost from introduction. My only complaint is real life kept me from finishing the book in one sitting. The plot moved at a pace which meant putting the book down was torture.

Kendig's fictional work is an homage to our men and women and the sacrifices, burdens they shoulder, and the honor with which they live their lives. There were roughly five chapters in Raptor 6 which were hard to read because Kendig writes with respect and realism. She doesn't glorify the soldiers as unbreakable, perfect men and women. She gives them faults and allows them to make mistakes, but doesn't shy away from the realities they face on the battlefield.

Reading Raptor 6 so close to Easter brought to mind the photos which make their way around Facebook periodically. On Good Friday we watched The Passion of the Christ. Raptor 6 tied in to the sacrifice our Lord made for us. He bore the pain and suffering we earned. He endured the cross to save us from the torment.

The ending of Raptor 6 gave us a brief glimpse this ride isn't over. We'll be revisiting Dean and his team as they neutralize the continued threat.

Christian Authors and the Dilemma of Physical Attraction

A favorite blog writer of mine recently asked a question concerning things in books as a reader you don’t like. She mentioned describing the male lead as devastatingly handsome. It immediately brought to mind one of my top three pet peeves – overselling the physical appearance of characters in a book.

Unlike movies and television where you can actually see the characters, books offer a chance to imagine the characters. I don’t need an excessive amount of details for a literary character. My mind will sketch the characters as I see them. I’d rather read about their hands shaking in anger than the color of the skin covering those hands. Tell me about the excitement in their eyes before you wax poetic about the ocean being the same shade. I’d rather have an abstract picture of a character in a book than a paint-by-number portrait.

God gave us sight and created each and every one of us to be wonderfully made. Physical beauty is neither a curse nor a blessing. Society has defined what is attractive and asks us to all conform. God asks us to view others not with the eyes of the world, but through His eyes.

Where does the responsibility end for a Christian author who is setting the scene and describing the fictional world they have created? I have stopped reading more than a couple of authors because their emphasis on physical attractiveness is nearly worldly. I’ve become tired of reading about silky hair, long legs, strong arms, flat stomachs, and beautiful faces. I need more than physical attraction to believe two characters are going to commit to each other when they are written as though they can’t stand to be in the same room together.

In TV and movies I believe there is a direct correlation between the quality of writing and the nudity of the characters. The more poorly written the story line is the more likely you are to have nearly naked actors on screen. In the literary world there is actually a designation when this happens on paper – PWP, porn without plot. PWP lets the reader know there is no story here just written porn. Christians authors more than likely aren’t writing PWP, but they need to find motivation for attraction between their characters to be more than just physical. Physical beauty fades or can be taken from us in an instant. The beauty of a God-fearing heart and the fruit of a Godly life lives forever.

Christians can’t ignore the physical traits of the opposite sex. I can list for you the physical qualities I find attractive in a guy. God designed us with eyes to see and brains to process what we see. We have to take care we don’t emphasize the physical over the traits God has outlined as important. While we all can’t poke out our eyes to prevent being physically attracted to someone, we can guard our minds with the Word of God.

I believe authors have a responsibility and should be held accountable. I won’t read an author anymore if I believe their romantic storylines are led with worldly views. 

The Men of the Texas Rangers

There are four books in The Men of the Texas Rangers series by Margaret Daley.
Saving Hope
Shattered Silence
Scorned Justice 
Severed Trust

I'm doing a combined review because I honestly didn't take a breath between reading books. The first was marked complete and the second was opened in a heartbeat.

Margaret Daley pens a great story of the men who comprise the modern day Texas Rangers. Each book contains a mystery to be solved (murder, missing children, drug distribution) while her heroes are everyday people. I like my heroes with faults. The perfect hero doesn't exist. Daley blends together the warmth of southern hospitality, the grit of Texas living, the power of the Texas Rangers, the romance of loving a Texan, and action. I appreciated the stories are contemporary as usually Texas Rangers get the historical treatment.

Heart of the Country

Heart of the Country by Rene Gutteridge

True story. I read this book after seeing the movie. I couldn't figure out why the title and cover of the movie were so familiar. Then one day I stumbled upon the book in my Kobo account. It clicked.

The book is always better than the movie.

Luke Carraday rode into Faith's life like a knight on a white steed. His family lived in the castle on the hill. Ok, not really, but the Carraday's weren't hurting for money. Faith, a simple country girl, was suddenly living the life she'd always dreamed of. Until the day Luke was arrested for his part in a Ponzi scheme. Faith finds herself stuck between the family she left and the in-laws who never really approved. Eventually facing the family she had abandoned became her only choice.

Returning to the country where she grew up, Faith finds she has more growing to do. The only question is will Luke be there or is the new Faith one whose life won't have room for Luke?

It took longer than normal from start to finish with Heart of the Country. Mostly because I'd spoiled the story for myself by watching the movie.

It Had To Be You

It Had To Be You by Susan May Warren.

Eden Christiansen has dedicated her life to keeping her brother, Owen, on his path to the NHL. She's his loudest cheerleader, biggest fan, and cleans up all his messes. She rides to his rescue each time the euphoria of his new contract overrides his common sense. 

She also lays blame to Owen's lapses in judgement at the feet of his teammates, including Jace Jacobsen. Jace's reputation as an enforcer on the ice and a partier off the ice have Eden keeping a wide berth. As Jace's career is coming to an end, Owen's is just heating up. Eden has pushed her dreams to the side to focus on Owen's. As his come to fruition, Eden turns her focus to her own dreams. One moment changes each of their lives. Suddenly Eden is turning to Jace for help and she's learning there is more to him than she'd ever given him credit for. When Owen is injured and Jace has a chance to resurrect his career and maybe land an extension on his contract, Eden wrestles with the Jace she knows and the Jace she's read about.

I adore being able to visit with the Christiansen family. I'm hoping the continuation of Owen's story isn't far behind because I feel we need to see where he goes next.

Beowulf

Beowulf by Ronie Kendig

The third in A Breed Apart series brings Beowulf, an explosives detection dog, and his handler, Timbrel Hogan. Beowulf and Hogan are assigned to assist with sniffing out some potential WMDs with a team in Afghanistan. A member of the team, Candyman, took a liking to Timbrel when they met. Using Beo as a buffer, Timbrel does her best to avoid him and get the job done. When Beo hits on explosives and it turns out to be a false hit, Timbrel's confidence takes a hit and she returns stateside. However, she was on a collision course with Tony "Candyman" Van Allen and the proof she needed that Beo has a perfect track record without a false hit. Add in a Hollywood starlet mother and Timbrel must face her past to march on to her future.

Kendig kept the action rolling in Beowulf.  She never fails to deliver a story which will increase your appreciation for our military men and women. I have to admit though Beowulf failed to keep my attention as her other books have when not focused on the action portion of the story.

I found Timbrel to be a tough-as-nails chic. The problem is that she never showed a vulnerable side which justified Candyman's attraction to her. Of course Candyman's internal monologue showed exactly what he was attracted to and it wasn't her personality. In order to account for Timbrel's lack of personality, Kendig increased her physical attraction. Honestly between Timbrel's attitude, Beowulf, and  their bond;  I don't know why Tony stuck around or pursued her as he did. She never cracked enough to give him hope.

When she did finally crack Tony was the one pushing her away. Tony's family history complicated his recovery from a potentially career-ending injury. His fears of a dim future created a distance that Timbrel had just attempted to close.

Beowulf seemed overwrought with romantic drama. I don't recall any of Kendig's previous stories being centered on the love story before. The epic love story or OTP as TV viewers would refer to it was the weak section of Beowulf. When moving through the military action or even the tracking of the WMDs, Beowulf was a story I couldn't be pulled away from. The drama from the romance bogged the book down.

I still have to rate this book high because I'm not sorry I read it. Compared to Kendig's other works it is probably her weakest in the A Breed Apart series. Kendig continues to deliver on the action though and it appears it will be Dean Watters turn in Raptor 6.

Lone Survivor (Movie)

Just returned home from seeing Lone Survivor the movie. I reviewed the book the other day. More than likely this is going to be a jumbled mess of thoughts. This is not a movie review as there is nothing on this Earth that could justify reviewing this movie..

I am in awe of the character of those who volunteer to become a member of our American military. They go in knowing they will sacrifice more than they'll reap. When you become an elite member of our military the sacrifices double and your life expectancy takes a hit. Still there are men and women who join these ranks and I can't thank them all nor express the depth of my gratitude.

A few years ago I had the pleasure of talking with my cousin who served in the Air Force. Amidst all my questions he made two things clear a) he is glad that most Americans live clueless as to what happens in areas our soldiers are deployed to and b) the news media is the biggest steaming pile of poo. Those are my words not his.

I'm sure there are many people who wish movies weren't filmed about the military. I've seen an overwhelming positive response to Lone Survivor. Something that struck me at the end of this movie is their deaths should not be in vain. The freedom I enjoy as an American came/comes at a price. A steep price. Men and women have been dying for centuries to preserve my way of life. The least I can do is repay them by living my life to the fullest. I may never find myself in a gunfight on the side of a mountain. However, I need to dig deep for the courage to do other things.  While those who protect my freedom might not judge how I live my life, I am compelled to honor their sacrifice by living it to match the price paid for it. i started 2014 wanting to make this a year of change for myself. I'm going to steal from the SEALS and adopt an attitude of "never out of the fight." The only one who can take me out is me; I'm choosing now to not quit.  

In an interview on CNN Marcus Luttrell corrected Jake Tapper when Tapper suggested there was a hopelessness to Operation Red Wing.  Marcus corrected him. He reiterated it they never felt hopeless. The fight wasn't over until they were dead. Sadly three of them did die. "It was our job. We didn't complain about it."

When a movie like Lone Survivor, Black Hawk Down, Act of Valor, or Seal Team Six premieres it either affirms people's hate of war or justifies others war ideals. What I take out of these movies and from conversations with current and former military is they feel a calling. Some of them love their country to an extent they'll die defending it. Others have an intense desire to protect. Still others find a family within the military. Regardless their motive, their mindset is the same. They put themselves somewhere low on the totem pole of priority. They are an amazing group of  individuals.They march to the beat of honor, integrity, focus, discipline, and humility.

Lone Survivor

Lone Survivor by Marcus Luttrell

There are a few things that I need to preface this review by saying.
A) I am a firm supporter of our military men and women.
B) I set aside a bunch of quotes from the book but really you just need to read the entire book.
C) I read this in anticipation of the movie coming out. I knew the story but wanted the details.
D) I am not a fan of the media. Primarily the American media. a
E) I'm not a fan of politics. Any politics

Marcus Luttrell was 1/4 of the Seal team dispatched for Operation Redwing. An operation took them to the mountain of Afghanistan where a decision cost 3/4 of them their lives. Michael Murphy, Matthew Axelson, and James Suh gave their lives that day for the country they pledged to fight for.

There is something about a Navy SEAL that demands respect. Before they earn their tridents, they are a breed apart from most of the civilization. They are the .05% of the population. They approach life not with the decision to be warriors; they are warriors. It is sewn into their DNA like a calling.

The fabric of who they are in encapsulated in one of the lectures Luttrell received in BUDs.
"Accountability.... Respect.... Integrity.... Reputation...."

There were a whole bunch of words between those key words and the message was character-building and life-changing. The tangible difference between men of SEAL caliber and normal citizens is they possess a determination that won't allow them to quit. They are ingrained with a sense of justice and fight for what is right with unyielding perseverance.

In my opinion this very character trait is the sticking point which put Operation Redwing in dire straits. Faced with killing three unarmed goat herders or risking the consequences of letting them go, they made the decision their conscience could live with.  It pinned them down in enemy territory outnumbered 30-1.

As the three other members of Operation Redwing were gunned down, Marcus Luttrell dug deep and fought to survive. Determined to not let his teammate's deaths be in vain, he crawled to survive. The kindness of an Afghanistan man and an ancient principle known as Lokhay kept him alive until he was reunited with American soldiers.

In an age of technological connection, it was a village on the side of a mountain disconnected from the rest of the world where two men from different cultures both risked their lives to save another. Four SEALS spared the lives of innocent farmers while an Afghan village protected an American warrior from the Taliban.

I have many opinions on the vultures who front as reliable news media personnel. I have opinions on the bureaucrats who effectively tie the hands of our military men, leaving them as targets to the enemy who don't fight the war with dignity.

Mostly though I know there are a select few in our Country who are stitched together with loyalty, courage, determination, perseverance, and a confidence to be the best that ever wore a uniform. Marcus Luttrell is one of these men and he told the inspiring story of his survival and the brave men of Operation Redwing.

In Memoriam
http://www.navy.mil/moh/mpmurphy/soa.html