Flammable

Two posts in one day? That means there is a lot on my mind. This one may ramble and run on and not make a lot of sense but there is something that I need to work through.

Facebook can be your friend or it can be the messenger that you'd like to shoot between the eyes. I love connecting with new friends or reconnecting with old friends (and now that I'm nearly thirty they are all starting to get "old). It's neat to see what everyone is up to as long as they aren't talking about the dang Yankees. However, today the frivolity of Facebook took a turn from the superficialness of childhood to the heaviness of adulthood.

An invitation arrived in my inbox to an event that has been a decade in the making. I wish it was a NSYNC reunion tour but it isn't. A public apology is about to be issued by two people who really should have done it ten years ago. I'm sure some reacted to this news with an "it's about time" while others feel it is "too little too late." And there are those who take the middle ground that are willing to listen to the apology without any strings.

I don't know where I stand. On one hand it would be nice to be given an apology for every wound that resulted because of the selfish and hypocritical actions of a few people. On the other hand I have no need for a public apology because I forgave long ago because I refused them the power over me to embitter me to life and people. I don't need you to ask me to forgive you. I did for my own self preservation.

There are serious doubts that this apology will be sincere. Many signs point to this apology coming at a time that will result in personal accomplishment for this couple. Maybe it is part of a bucket list of sorts. Maybe it is a part of a To Do List that will put them back on the VIP list that they so loved previously. Maybe this really is the result of remorse, maturing, and guilt. I don't know. I won't know unless I go and listen to the apology.

I do feel though that a public apology is a cop out. There are those who deserve more personal apologies because the wounds were personally dealt. I'm not one of those who suffered direct hits, but I know of a few people who felt the sting. I suffered along side some of those who got wrecked with a lot of damage. Sincerity and a true repentance would require a personal apology to a few people I know.

I would like this chapter of my life to be closed. Every time it feels like it has come to an end and life will move on from it someone stirs the coals and breathes life into the dying embers. The problem with playing with fire is that sometimes those coals will ignite the materials nearby and a fire can rage out of control that you believe you are in charge of.

Such has been the case with this invitation. It began a flurry of responses that has left people judging and criticizing. Those coals that laid dormant have resurfaced and the fire is quickly finding fuel and it may soon consume and destroy. The problem is there was a nasty fire ten years ago and some of this fuel will easily go up in flames.

Is this what being an adult is all about? Spending a decade reeling from the decisions of those in your life? Will 2010 bring about a new set of circumstances that in 2019 we'll be hoping to put to bed?

Echoes

Children race through their childhood. The sound of their laughter reverberating down the halls of learning, experiencing, and growing. The voices of adults ricochet through the same halls as they impart wisdom and guidance. Music dances weaving the soul. Happiness flows as every moment is taken for granted.

Now the echoes of memories bounce around the empty halls. The lessons that were passed on seem to be hypocritical in their message. The music paused and then skipped before eventually dying out. The abundant happiness was soaked up and discarded without thought that it may be endangered.

Years later the building that once housed the delight of children, the accomplishment of students, the fulfillment of relationship is now an empty carcass, holding nothing but the echoes. The echoes of once was. The hardest lessons came not amidst the laughter or the stories, but in the pain that each student experienced. Life became the lesson and those who once tutored became inadequate at offering the wisdom to survive the overwhelming tides that ebb and flow. Where life once existed now only memories whisper.

Minds strive to remember the happy memories. Our ears strain in hopes of recapturing the simplicity, the joy, the contentment. It'd be so much easier to go back to that place and freeze time than to return to the carcass and see what was eaten away by greed, selfishness, hate, and pain.

We can't exist with the echoes of the past. They'll fade. For some they've already faded. They're gone and forgotten. For others they are as fresh as the day they happened, like an instant replay that never pushes forward to the future. The echoes are amplified by some as they attempt to drag others back to exist in that time with them. Others have silenced the echoes beneath anger and pain.

The echoes for me are the hardest lessons that I've learned to date. Many days existed with tears and pain. I angered easily when I thought of all I'd lost and I saddened at the dreams that dissipated when my world ended. I overcame the echoes. I moved past them, taking with me the wisdom imparted by life. I captured happiness from its unfailing well. I've learned to make music of my own so that the notes never fade. I live a life that rose forth from the suffering. The pain left a scar that reminds me of all that I've seen and encourages me that I'll overcome the next lesson.

I'll never revisit those halls and recapture the feelings that existed when I walked them a carefree child. I'm no longer carefree. I was thrust into the world that shoveled cares on my shoulders. I walk those halls and choose to listen to the echoes of the memories that can make me smile. I'll never forget the lessons that I've learned but I choose the memories that don't resonate with pain.

Perspective

I'm going to make a disclaimer here so that no one reacts by saying "but you haven't experienced it." I am not pregnant nor have I ever been. These are my thoughts on the wonder of pregnancy. I don't reserve the right to alter my perspective when I myself experience pregnancy. I hope someone will slap this in front of me if I ever do lose my perspective. But in the interest of full disclosure - there is no bun in the oven.

It annoys the crap out of me when pregnant women whine about how "fat" they are. I've got a whole theory on being "fat" but we'll ignore that for now. A woman carrying a child is blessed to have been chosen by God to give life, protect, care for, and grow one of His children inside of her. Almost everything that God asks of us requires a sacrifice on our part. If this means for a few months you can't see your toes or wear size 6 pants then I think it should be ok. The wonder of creating a child and being an integral part of the growth process before birth should erase the pounds that get added while carrying out this duty.

Worrying and whining don't accomplish anything as my dad would say. They neither affect the outcome nor make the resolution arrive more quickly. While worrying is a complete waste of time, concern can bring a focus and a sense or responsibility. I say that instead of worrying about how much you weigh that you should focus on being a good parent. Having a healthy concern that you are making every effort to be a good parent will make gaining a few pounds an afterthought. Concerning yourself with what examples you are setting for your kids just might create an accountability in you that will positively alter your future.

My perspective is probably irritating to anyone who has ever been pregnant or those experiencing pregnancy for the first time. I'm sure that my best friend who is still in her first trimester wants to slap me upside the head. No doubt she's ticking off days on the calendar until she can print this and push into my face and ask me if I still feel the same way. And I encourage that moment to come. I want her to remind me in case I can't see my toes and get anxious about if I resemble a whale.

I'll gladly resemble a whale if God asks me to be a mother to one of His precious gifts. I'll pinch the flab on my body and analyze the water gain with satisfaction. The stretch marks may arrive and the soreness may invade but Christ endured torture for my sake.

Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, Blogs, Vlogs...

I'm going to delve into the world of online streaking as I am dubbing the various ways in which we prove to the world that we have imperfections.

Twitter... I stumbled across a fairly famous person's Twitter account the other day. This actress is usually cast as an attractive bimbo who is given a sliver of reasonable humanity before being exploited. Usually her characters end up spending more minutes naked then speaking lines. The characters would be better served in print than film because then they'd be silent and we wouldn't need to question their intelligence. When you encounter characters like this you really hope that the actress is just trying to be a contributor to federal employment taxes and not that they relate to the character. However, sometimes they manage to do something that proves that acting might not be necessary to bring this character to screen. I almost felt bad for her. In her attempts to prove her confidence in herself, she managed to come across as insecure. She mocked those who mocked her falling into a trap that is a common downfall of her characters. She has all the reason in the world to be confident and instead she's defending herself.

Streaking is usually done when a person of questionable intelligence removes all their clothes and runs across the field of a sport in hopes of gaining recognition, 3 seconds of their 15 minutes, or just honoring the rest of us with their perfection. It involves public nudity and either large amounts of alcohol or a very large ego.

Blogger, MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube... the list goes on. We have the world at our fingertips through the internet. We can access anyone's life legally or illegally. There are some who showcase their art through the internet. Family members remain in contact. Friends keep up with the 411. Professionals can network. Then there are those who really need a hobby.

They are the streaking bloggers. They don't possess enough shame to think through what they post. Without thought they race across the field naked bearing all. The only thing they manage to prove is that they are as imperfect as the rest of us. Their streaking gives all of us regular people a chance to boost our self-confidence because when they run naked in the sunlight their imperfections are magnified.

I recommend caution before joining the world of blogging. Before acquiring an account in which you can share your life with the world, there is something to consider. Do you want the world rummaging around in your head? Are there things hiding in your closet that you'd like to remain there? When you open your life and invite the world in they'll have things to say. Not everyone has a Mama who warns them "if they don't have anything nice to say then not to say anything at all." When you throw your thoughts out into the www you open yourself to those who think differently.

Streaking isn't recommended for everyone. No one wants to see that. A nice outfit completed with the perfect shoes is much more attractive than being an uncovered skank. Exercise caution before you hit the enter/send. Ask yourself if in ten years you'll be embarrassed to show your kids. Don't deny your style but remember nudity isn't a fashion trend.

Death of the Role Model

Success driven by controversy. Career goals achieved through use of illegal substance. Talent celebrated despite a lack of character. Government leaders without a moral compass. These are the signs of the modernization of our culture. These men and women shape our children's perception on success, power, self-esteem, & popularity.
If you get yourself in the papers and keep yourself there, you'll generate curiousity. If you generate curiousity, you'll garner attention. If you garner that attention, do whatever you can to keep yourself at the center of that attention. Curious people will result in revenue. Revenue results in many material things. Many material things results in status. Status results in popularity. Popularity results in revenue. If necessary do something controversial. Nudity is always good. Break a law as long as it is a minor one you'll not be held accountable. Talent isn't enough make sure to sell your body.
America's past time has a blotch on it. An ugly blotch of steroid use and lying. Baseball, a sport that has inspired a nation, has been disgraced. A century wroth of heroes has been reduced to a period of shame. In misguided efforts to put their name at the top of the leader board, achieve historical numbers, preserve their place in a Hall of Fame, earn more dollars than anyone else our heroes became fallible when steroids replaced hard work. Instead of the love of the game driving players towards success they played for money and trophies and bargained their reputations.
Roman Polanski awaits extradition thirty years after committing a heinous crime that most would punish with violence or death and yet there are those who vocally support him and demand his freedom. A man who overcame such a tragic childhood and lived to emerge on the other side a survivor became the monster of his nightmares that he fought against. A man who lost his wife in an act of unnecessary violence turned and robbed a child, leaving her with nightmares of her own. His crimes go unpunished because of his fear of the punishment. He committed the crime and fled the consequences. Now that the consequences have caught up with him, we demand his release because of his tormented past and his talent in storytelling.

Where is the responsibility? When do we stop justifying and excusing our actions and accept our consequences? When do we accept the weight of our accomplishments as well as our failures? I respect the person who can apologize for their shortcomings. I want to know the person who learns from their mistakes. I am accepting of those who challenge me to grow, learn, & improve myself. I don't ever want to plateau. There's an awesome view if you don't believe that you reached it halfway up.

More baseball observations

• Pitchers tend to get wedgies or at least it looks like they have perpetual wedgies.
• Baseball players cock their hips more than Elle Woods (Legally Blonde)
• Baseball unis aren't flattering at all.
• NESN is officially my favorite channel. They just showed a montage of disagreements between Boston and NY sports teams.
  
• Baseball is so much more exciting when they fight.
• Dustin Pedroia is adorable.
• He probably takes offense to being called adorable.
• "Oh my gosh. Pitchers hitting what a joke."
• A baseball players game may be improved upon with ballet lessons.
  

More in common that "ing"

Dating and interviewing-I’ve come to the realization that a first date and an interview have too much in common.  I don’t particularly care for doing either.

Both can be highly stressful because you’re walking into unchartered territory.  There is a good chance that in both cases you’ll be completely out of your element.  With dating there is a chance that both of you will be out of your element but that is not guaranteed nor the case with interviewing.  You arrive for a job interview and you’re on their home turf.  The air is energized in their favor and you’re the underdog.  (Maybe this is why the Super Bowl is played at a scheduled field and not in a team’s home stadium.  I digress.) 

Before the commencement of the interview/date is the prep work.  This usually (and hopefully) includes a bit more care with personal hygiene.  Before my interview the other day, I did Mary Kay Satin Hands & Lips, shaved my legs, mowed the eyebrows, a moisturizing face mask (also MK if you must know), plucked a few stray hairs that wandered down to the facial zone, and washed the clothes I planned to wear.  While watching the Red Sox beat the Jays I touched up the paint job on my nails (hands and feet!) and treated my cuticles.  I debated trying to get in to see the hairdresser but alas there wasn’t time so I crossed my fingers that I would have a good hair day. 

The morning of requires an extra allotment of time in the bathroom.  It usually isn’t a problem getting the aforementioned extra minutes because sleep is an elusive dream the night before.  Panic about oversleeping or forgetting something or having just the right words to say prevents a drifting into la la land.  So you start the day a bit more tired than you should and with a little extra baggage under the eye that you fight with beauty products during that extra time in the bathroom.  

If you are lucky you can migrate directly from your prep time to your date/interview.  There is a chance though that you’ll make an extended pit stop along the way like to your current sentence to jail.  You’ll spend all day trying to figure out how to explain why your current job or former date (and not current date because that is priggish behavior) isn’t working out without sounding like that whiney toddler from Rugrats.  You’ll be distracted and hoping that no one suspects just in case you don’t wow them or you forgot deodorant and they don’t dare to meet with you again.  No one needs time to consider their surroundings and to wonder if they are out of their league.  This place is too professional.  I've only ever flipped burgers.  He's too good-looking to date a woman like me.  

PSA:  While you only get one chance to make a first impression it is important to remember not to judge because sometimes the best presents come in packages that are entirely misleading.  End of PSA 

Eventually we get to the main event.  It is the scheduled time in which you put your best foot forward and go out there and get ‘em, tiger.  The universe has worked against you all day in attempts to prevent you from arriving calm, cool, and collected.  Traffic was horrible.  Every red light came out in your honor, causing you to worry it was an omen.  You miss your turn and wonder if you should keep going in the wrong direction.  You give yourself a mental pinch and when that doesn’t work you wind up for a strong mental slap and arrive.  Every inspiring quote you can remember is muttered as you finally leave the car.  Game on!

You get one chance to leave a first impression.  Bugger.  What if your collar took on a mind of its own and isn’t straight.  Why don’t lobbies have mirrors so you can check these things?  You’ve spit the gum out so you don’t look like a cow while talking to the person who could ultimately change your life, but try to keep that minty fresh feeling with a breath mint that clashes flavor with the gum.  What really is the difference between spearmint, peppermint, and wintergreen?  Doesn’t matter you hope your tongue doesn’t go numb or your mouth dry in protest from the breath fresheners you’ve shoved in there in the past twenty minutes.  You wipe your sweaty palms hoping you don’t have to shake too many peoples hands.  

If you’re lucky there is no wait.  You go straight from your car to the meeting.  You don’t have to sit in a quiet lobby, mentally reviewing your game plan.  You just jump in headfirst.  You don’t want too much time to have a conversation with yourself because yourself is often the person with the bad ideas that get you into trouble.  You don’t want to be talked out of going in there and showing them what you’ve got.  

Suddenly it is that moment.  You’re primed and ready for this.  You’re the best candidate they’ll see.  You’re the whole package and they’d be a fool not to see it.  Handshake number one and the customary “it’s nice to meet you.”  That is out of the way.  Now comes the getting to know you part.  Are they going to ask questions that I want to answer?  Are they going to ask questions that I can answer?  Am I talking too loud?  Too much?  Too quietly?  Did I answer the question?  Did you see that painting on the wall that would look great over the couch.  Pay attention!  I hope they don’t ask about my current situation.  Oh man!  They asked the question about my worst trait.  Can I lie?  Nah, I’ve got to give them something.  Who expects an honest answer to this question.  “Well, to be honest with you I am terrifically lazy and leave a job before I get fired.”  “Do I mind working overtime?  Not at all.  Whatever I can do to help the team.”  Of course I don’t want to be here more than I have to.  Are you crazy.  What kind of fool do you take me for work pays the bills and play makes it all worthwhile.  Don’t talk too much about what you hate out of employers.  Don’t talking about the ex because you might tear up.  Don’t mention that he cheated on you because you work too much.  Definitely don’t bring up that all your huge fights were over money and the fact that you have a shopping problem.  The problem is that you don’t have enough money to do it as much as you’d like.  It’s best to not mention the jealous ex that you had to take a restraining order out on because that might scare him away.  Would it be considered too forward if I mentioned how many kids I want so that if he doesn’t want any we don’t waste time?  I hope he wants kids because genes that good need to be shared. 

And then it is over.  This time you offer a bit of gratitude with the customary “pleasure to meet you.”  If you don’t want to be too pushy you offer up a “hope to hear from you soon.”  Then comes the awkward what is expected.  A kiss on the cheek?  A handshake?  A “we’ll call you later this week.”  What is appropriate?  Crap!  Why isn’t Miss Manners here to tell me what to do.  So you opt for a quick trigger of all of them to keep all the bases covered so as to not fail expectations.  Then you get out of there.

For the first time you take a deep breath.  You survived.  You lived through it.  Now you have to figure out if you want to do it again.  Would Round 2 be appealing or is it time to walk away while you’re still ahead of the count?  If Round 2 is something you wish for then you may analyze every moment over and over for the next few days.  You consider each question and response.  You mull over each lull in conversation.  You wonder if there was anything in your teeth or did you have a bugger hanging off the end of your nose.  Did you choose the right shoes or did they convey the wrong thing about you?  Would a kitten heel have been professional and conservative or was the four inch heel you wore screaming “tramp.”  Should you have said “no room for growth” instead of “had enough of that place?”  Next time there won’t be another meeting unless enough time is given to visit the hairdresser. 

Instant replay runs on a loop until either the phone rings asking for Round 2 or enough time has passed that your wounded ego has recovered and you’re prepping for another first meeting.  While your self-confidence cements itself again you may figure out why it didn’t work and realize that the fault lay in the other party.  Either way the first meeting is followed by nerves and a bit of worry with the possibility of the side effect of loss of sleep.  This can continue indefinitely until eventually Round 2 happens and gives way to Round 3 which eventually leads to Round 10 and then eventually you reach the point where you can’t remember the last time you shaved your legs and primping is a thing of the past.  When you reach that point you hope that everything sticks because otherwise you’re starting over at Round 1 again soon and you’re out of shape and need serious training to be able to go through all that again. 

Dating & Interviewing.  I’m not really a fan of either.  They are too stressful and it takes too long to get past that “first impression” and subsequent “proving yourself” to reach that stride when the true personality comes out.  That, my friends, is the true test.  When the butterflies have permanently vacated the stomachs and the herculean efforts to be perfect have finally proved to be futile.  I’d rather take my chances that someone will like the Round 15 me from the get go than disappoint them when we get to Round 15.  Course there is no way to avoid round 1 regardless of if you are looking for a job or Prince Charming.  So until I meet Prince Charming and he comes with a gazillion dollars so I no longer have to work then I guess I’ll go through Round 1s for a while.   

Photographic evidence

I love the Red Sox so they have the honor of proving some of my observations concerning baseball. All photos property of AP and ESPN.com.

Fenway Fun

1) Is it a prerequisite that baseball players chew sunflower seeds?

2) What if you don’t like sunflower seeds?

3) Is there a proper technique for the disposal of sunflower seeds? It appears to me that you just open your mouth and they fall out. No work required.

4) If they aren’t a sunflower seed spitter, they may be a gum chewer. Do they spit their gum like they do sunflower seeds?

5) Could that be why the running lanes are dirt so that if someone does spit their gum they can cover it so it doesn’t stick to the bottom of their cleats?

6) Is it just me or is baseball the only sport intent on making a fool out of its players? Pitchers cock their hips like women. They all routinely stick their butts in the air. Some wind up while at bat. They adjust themselves on national TV. They spin like tops when they “swing & miss.” And those faces... the throwing face, the stunned face, the victory face (or in Papelbon's case the victory body), and the intense faces. He he he heheheeeeeeeeeee *ahem* Sorry.

7) “Swing & a miss” is the most fun baseball term despite its overuse.

8) The Rookie is the most inspiring baseball movie.

9) I’ve only seen four baseball movies. Field of Dreams doesn’t make the top list because of Kevin Costner.

10) Rookie of the Year is the most fun. I’d like to think of baseball teams being like the team in ROTY towards the end- playing tricks on each other, hanging out, laughing.

11) If they aren’t having fun like the team is at the end and are more like the team in the beginning, then they shouldn’t be playing.

12) Why isn’t there a home run dance? Football has the touchdown dance.

13) Why do umps & refs take all the fun out of sports?

14) Why does baseball have umps when basketball, football, & hockey have refs?

15) How much fun is the word “umps?”

16) Anyone rewritten the Black Eyed Peas “My Humps” to a baseball edition of “My Umps?”

17) You must be very confident in yourself to be a baseball player. While sitting on the sidelines, attempting but failing to not look bored, most baseball players will be caught spitting, chewing their gum like cows, the aforementioned adjusting, biting your nails, swearing, throwing a tantrum like a toddler, or doing what guys do. The entire country could see this because if you make a big enough fool of yourself you’ll land on the highlight reels.

18) You may have to explain to your mother what you were doing on the aforementioned highlight reels. If so take it like a man and tell her the truth. Don’t try and pass it off as something it wasn’t.

19) Apparently there is a technique to adjusting that can’t be studied and learned. Perhaps it is a natural skill that is a signal to parents early on in life they have a ball player on their hands.

20) Minor league ball clubs are broken down by Class AA, or Class AAA which oddly enough is like bra sizes – double A and triple A.

21) Would it be wrong of me to suggest the correlation of the importance of cups to both baseball players and bras?

The Day After

Car accidents and hangovers, the second day is always more painful than the first.  This is the Jeep after its run in with Kamikaze Bambi.

Kamikaze Deer

While faithfully abiding by the rules as mentioned in yesterday's post there are variables that can ruin your day.

1)  Flat tire

2) Construction

3)  Freakin' kamikaze deer

In these cases you may be blissfully unaware of them until they occur.  You may be driving down the highway doing a safe (yet slightly faster than the speed limit but still SAFE!) 72 mph when the kamikaze deer appears from nowhere and slams into your passenger side.  It all my happen so quickly that you are unaware of what you hit.  You just know you hit something because you heard the thud and saw the debris as it snowed in your rearview mirror.  You may pull off to the side of the road as soon as is safely possible to assess the damage and remain unaware of what you hit, believing that maybe your car just spontaneously exploded.  It may take a coworker calling you to ask if that was you in front of them that massacred the baby Bambi.  It may take hours for your heart rate to slow and the soreness to set in.  

However, what truly ruins your day is the insurance company.

Avoiding Road Rage

1) Don't drive.

2) See #1

3) Do all you can to faithfully adhere to 1 & 2

All right so Gibb's two rules for life won't apply for driving. However, there are things to be done to avoid road rage. The following don't apply to preventing your anger during rush hour, but how not to piss off the commuters around you.

1) There are posted speed limits. Yes, you can receive a ticket for surpassing them, however consider them suggestions on what speed you should be doing. Falling too low on the speedometer is a guarantee to get at least one bird flipped at you.

2) If your vehicles in incapable of maintaining highway speeds then your vehicle should remain in the right hand lane. The left hand lane is known as the passing lane. This is not the lane to line up in for a parade. If there are more than two cars behind you within ten car lengths then this is a sign you need to merge into the right lane ASAP without causing an accident. No one appreciates it if you do the beauty queen wave while traveling in the passing lane. A good clue that perhaps you don't belong in the left lane is when people are passing you on the right.

3) If you can't walk and chew gum at the same time without bumping into things or the gum falling out of your mouth then it is pretty much guaranteed that you aren't an effective multi-tasker. Avoid the angry complaints of the car horns by putting down the phone, make-up, newspaper, Ipod, etc.

4) Every car comes equipped with a nifty feature called a blinker. This device can be used to alert other drivers of your intentions. This is helpful as a low percentage of the population is psychic and most who claim to be are usually wrong.

5) Blinkers are especially helpful if you tend to give off the wrong signals concerning your intentions. Example: you pull into the left lane to make a right turn. Turning your blinker on in this case alerts the drivers behind you that you may have obtained your license from a cracker jack box.

6) Attempting to correct your speed after you've spotted a cop is a pointless and irritating action. By the time you have seen the cop the cop has seen you Whether you get pulled over or not will depend more on his mood than the 3 mph that you managed to slow down.

7) If during the course of your travels you end up going in the wrong direction or miss your turn you have a multitude of options at your disposal. U turns can be safely done in approved locations. If it is posted No U turns then it would be in your best interest to not attempt because there is a reason that U turns are prohibited in that spot. If you are in the wrong lane when you approach your turn or exit ramp, only merge into the right lane if it is safe to do so. By safe to do so I mean that your abrupt arrival into the correct lane shouldn't require every other driver to slam on their breaks to make room for you. This will cause a flurry of impolite gestures and words to be volleyed your way.

8) If you are attempting to turn left onto a street that is highly congested take note. No one will appreciate it if you slowly nose your way onto the road and force traffic to stop until someone is nice enough to allow you to go. Find the nearest light and use the light to force the other commuters into allowing you back into traffic or be patient and wait for a break in traffic.

9) Cutting someone off and then going slower in front of them because you realized how close they came to hitting you because of your apparent lack of intelligence isn't going to earn you brownie points. As a matter of fact take yourself right back to Driver's Ed because clearly you shouldn't be on the road.

10) Your brakes don't appreciate being woekn up from a nap abruptly. Everything works better if given a casual build up. Baseball players don't take the field before stretching. Slamming on your brakes is an annoyance to everyone around you. A good majority of the time there is no need for it (unless rule number 3 applies to you).

11) You can pay out the butt for a car that tells everyone you are someone and you make money. The rest of the world will only laugh at you if you manage to turn it into an accordian within a year. Just because you can afford a car that goes from 0-60 in less than ten seconds doesn't mean you need to prove it every time you take to the road. The people who truly care will be appropriately impressed when they see it and the rest of us who don't care won't be impressed just because you flew by us at dangerous speeds or cut us off.

12) If you are so important that you can't be late to your meeting - GET UP FIFTEEN MINUTES EARLIER and get out the door giving yourself plenty of time to arrive to your meeting on time. A traffic accident will only delay your arrive (if you make it there at all) and cost you money in the long run.

13) If you are bumper to bumper with the car in front of you don't get upset when your coffee gets spilled because they slowed down to turn. Take responsibility for your coffee and give them enough room to tap their brakes without requiring you stand on yours.

Abiding by such simple rules will make commutes for everyone that much more pleasurable for yourself and everyone around while preventing the smashing of your car.

Lord of the Rings

I love all things hobbit, elven, ranger, dwarf, and Tolkien.  I'm guilty of seeing each movie at least double digits in the theater and I've had more than one Lord of the Rings marathon since they've come out on DVD.  I couldn't get enough.  I'd soak it up and want more.  I tried to convert all the ignorant to embrace the fabulousness of all things Tolkien.  Eventually though life got in the way and Pirates of the Caribbean came out and my LOTR collection began preventing dust from collecting beneath its cases on my  DVD shelf.

For the first time in a year I put in a LOTR movie.  Return of the King made its way into the DVD player last night.  I was reminded why I fell in love with them in the first place.  I cried, cheered, and laughed as if it was my first time seeing it.  (Had anyone been able to see me sitting on the couch with a couple of cats, crying my eyes out they'd have thought me crazy.) 

There are so many wonderful facets to LOTR.  My favorite though has to be the sum of its parts.  There is no super hero to save the day.  There is no larger than life, bitten by a radioactive spider, stronger than steel, faster than a speeding bullet, acid dipped, underwear on the outside of his tights, cape wearing hero that rights the wrongs.  It is a fellowship formed from friendship and duty that face the evil together.  Even the practically perfect elf isn't perfect as he deals with doubt, but they press on.  The smallest can be a hero right alongside the heir.  It’s the sum of its parts that are successful and perfection doesn't play a part.  Loyalty fuels them.  Friendship encourages them.  Perseverance conquers. 

Sam is without a doubt my favorite hobbit.  Merry and Pippin provide the lightness that endear a hobbit to one.  Frodo shows us that there is more to a hobbit than meets the eye (or knees if you consider their height).  Sam though is faithful.  Sam remains loyal despite being tossed aside by Frodo.  He shows up and repeatedly saves Frodo's increasingly led astray butt.  Sam fights side by side with Frodo when Frodo fights and fights for Frodo when Frodo throws in the towel.  Frodo wouldn't have been successful without Sam.  He's the unsung hero and one of my favorite moments from ROTK is when Sam comes to Frodo's rescue again after the orcs get him in Mordor.  His shadow is more menacing than his stature and yet he overcomes.  I can't help but cheer because it is those moments that count. 

Through it all not one of them is perfect.  They each face their own demons, doubt, self worth issues.  Yet they each have faith in each other that the others will be there.  Through it all they trust that their rescue will come at the hands of their friends.  The sum of its parts beats out needing one perfect hero and together they are victorious.

A lesson the 18-1 Patriots should have learned.  Maybe Coach Bill needs to consider new video footage.  I digress though.

King Theoden has the most poignant lines in my opinion.  In Two Towers he stands preparing for battle and questions why he is asking his men to fight.  What has he done to demand their loyalty.  There is a great exchange that just cuts deep.  (I'll have to find the time to type it all out but it resonates.)  Then in ROTK King Theoden is dying and he talks of going to the halls of his fathers where he'll know no shame.  Gets me every dang time.  Because that ladies and gentleman is what it is ultimately about.  Despite his concerns and sometimes lack of faith in what he is doing and why, he'll face his "fathers" and stand proud.  Such great symbolism and if you don't get it I'm sure I'll be returning to this topic because I can't let it go.      

       

Who needs a doctorate to study cloning

Considering I spelled that "clonging" the first time it is a good thing I'm not doing the type of cloning that requires a doctorate.  

On a principle basis I am opposed to photo editing.  I like to do superficial transformations to my pictures but those changes usually just make my pictures look surreal.  They don't improve upon the original print.  It's like coloring your hair opposed to plastic surgery.  However as my photographs are being used on a larger scale now I've been more critical of them.  I liked the technicalities of this shot however it needed more in order to be used.  

The first picture is the original.  The second picture I edited using a program that allowed me to clone.  I completely altered the original to give the photo more subject matter.  In less than ten minutes I had a picture that barely resembled the original.  

And then I started thinking about altering.  Altering life.  Altering hair color.  Altering myself.  Would I alter myself to be more up to standard?  I added additional tulips to "increase interest" in the photo.  What would I do to myself to alter other's perception of me?  Would I make changes to be more marketable?  

I've never been one to swim in the mainstream.  I actually tend to avoid the mainstream because it lacks originality.  What is the point of being like everyone else.  I hate when someone says "I'm just like every other *fill in the blank* you know."  Why would you want to be?  See right there you tend to lose appeal to me.  I'd rather you be an original/unique *fill in the blank* than just like everyone else.

I still dislike editing my photos.  What you see isn't the truth but my version of the way things appear.  I've misled you to believe there were more tulips than there were.  I've told you a lie that you'll believe is the truth and I've backed it with evidence.  Evidence that is fabricated but your eyes wouldn't lie to you would they?   

Long Island

Why do people get all dressed up to go lose their money at the casino?

If you're going to lose your shirt at the casino wouldn't you want it to be the ratty one from 1989 that smells of moth balls?

Signs you know you're an old fart:  when you comment on the pathetic state of today's youth and their education by stating "When I was a kid...."  

Why does a dog smell worse after having a bath than he did before the bath?

A sign that you need to brush up on your parenting skills:  it is 9:30 at night and you take your 3 children under the age of 4 to TGIFridays for dinner.

A sign that parenting might not be for you:  you don't see the problem with the aforementioned sign.

Bacon & chocolate works.

Lemon, pepper, & white chocolate doesn't.

The grass for Easter baskets grows on rocks on Long Island (see evidence below).

Ferry rides are excellent.  Ferry rides with sailors are awesome!

For the price of a ticket to Disney I spent 24 hours doing nothing and that magical.  

Another sign you know you're an adult:  you can't sleep past 8 no matter how hard you try.  Your body just refuses to let you.  

Doctors say ‘the left side of the brain controls the right side of the body, and the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body’. That tells me only left-handers are in their right mind. William Francis "Spaceman" Lee Boston Red Sox Pitcher I like the way this guy thinks.

Miss USA

Miss California, Carrie Prejean stood up for what she believed in.

And for that I think every Christian should applaud her and then challenge themselves to find out if facing millions would you give a popular answer or stand up for what you believe in?

"If you don't live it, you don't believe it."

That quote was with me through all of high school. I don't even remember where I picked it up from. However it crossed my path at some point and I took it as a personal challenge. I have to live what I believe or no one will be convinced that I believe it.

My faith in God is a not a passing fancy, a whim, a phase of my life. My relationship with Jesus Christ is the cornerstone of all that I am and will be. I'll remain steadfast because I believe that no matter what I face He will face it with me.

When Carrie answered that question during the pageant she stood on that stage with the blessing of Christ. God brought her to that point and God knew she'd be asked that question. If God was human I think his chest would have puffed with pride and He would have proudly told everyone they encountered "This is my daughter in whom I am well pleased." The world may crucify for her answer but in my opinion I heard more cheering for her answer than I did when the question was read.

God bless you, Carrie Prejean, for taking a stand.

According to the Department of Homeland Security I am a terrorist. Never thought I’d be a terrorist. A holy terror has been thrown my way a couple of times, but when you purposely do things to upset your parents I think it is warranted.

The ACLJ sent out information earlier today….

Our country is at war with real terrorists. Now, the U.S. Department of Homeland Security has issued a new assessment about domestic terrorism. Who's on the list ... al-Qaeda? No. Islamic radicals? No. Included in what the government has labeled ''rightwing extremists'' - groups they've defined as ''primarily hate-oriented'' - are pro-life supporters.You've been labeled a domestic terrorist. A real ''danger'' to America.Stand with us in sending a powerful message to the Department of Homeland Security:It's time to target the REAL terrorists - and REMOVE the pro-life community from this warning. Add your name now to the ACLJ's DEMAND FOR RETRACTION to Homeland Security. This characterization is not only offensive to millions of Americans who hold constitutionally-protected views opposing abortion - but it also raises serious concerns about the political agenda of an agency with a mandate to protect America.Engage this issue NOW by signing our online Demand for Retraction and protecting your First Amendment rights. Then, alert your friends and family to this important nationwide campaign by using our website's forward-to-friend tool. Follow this critical issue on Twitter - www.twitter.com/jordansekulow - or on the ACLJ's Cause on Facebook. If you are under 40, I also invite you to visit www.BeHeardProject.com, the Be Heard Project Cause on Facebook, and www.twitter.com/beheardproject to make your voice heard.Thank you for taking immediate action. God bless you.

I’m not even going to get into how ridiculous all of this is. I’m going to avoid the fact that there are people who still burn crosses and wear bed sheets. I’m going to fail to mention that we give people who truly “terrorize” others an all inclusive vacation to Club Fed. It isn’t my place to say anything about the kids who walk into schools with guns and we fail to recognize the signs.

I acknowledge the ridiculousness of Pro Life supporters who blow up abortion clinics (oxy moron?). There are extremists for every belief whether you take your clothes off to promote not wearing fur (they apparently have no problem with skins) or you fly a plane into a skyscraper. You take something too far and you can be ridiculous. You don't stand on your beliefs so no one knows what they are and you probably don't really have them.

All I am going to say is that I wonder if enough of us gather if they’ll send in SWAT. There is something about a guy in knee pads that gets me. They can break up our prayer meetings where we serve brownies, jam bars, and coffee.

Holidays vs. Vacations

The Europeans go on these month long trips usually from one city of culture to another or from one exotic location to an even more exotic location. They call them holidays.

Americans take these week long trips that are called vacations. Sometimes they go overseas and visit a cultural location sometimes in Europe. The Americans refer to particular dates on a calendar that observe a moment in history, a person who shaped history, or a date that greeting card companies somehow have finagled in order to increase their profits as holidays.

The difference? Americans observe a holiday and usually need a vacation to recover. Europeans holiday and vacations are pathetic to them.

I'm watching Gilmore Girls. Anyone else adore Sookie? She's so eccentric. However (and this is not shallow) I think that if she was a size 2 she'd be annoying rather than eccentric. She's adorable with her neurosis.

*I'll be referencing scenes from the episode "Emily Says Hello" from this point forward just so you don't commit to me a padded room.

Why didn't Rory date Marty? Did I miss the episode in which they discussed why they couldn't date because the Gilmores discuss everything.

Is it sad that Chad Michael Murray's only redeeming quality is his nose? I just adore it. It needs to relocate to someone with some morals and without the creepiness though. This random note brought to you by a commercial for A Cinderella Story.

Both of my brothers are expecting. I already have the world's cutest niece. Now there will be two more. Well, there is the potential for a nephew but regardless I will have three nieces/nephews by the end of the year.

Montana has a week long crash course on journalism and photography. Not just journalism or photojournalism but a marriage of the two separate entities. I'm seriously considering exploring that option as opposed to HIP or the three month intensive.

I've decided baseball isn't so bad. And it is without the drama of football (at least in New England). A game isn't a game when it matters who you bang. Hee he heee. So I have seen more than half of this season's Red Sox game. I'm digging it. It is most exciting when they win.

"Earlier I was talking to Sookie, who btw got knocked up again, crazy slut..."

GG is probably the only show that can get away with saying something like that without being offensive or juvenile.

Bones is on tonight. Was on last night and tonight is a new episode too. What awesomeness occurred that the cosmos have graced us with two days in a row of new Bones goodness.

"That's sweet he's having sympathy mood swings."
"He looooves me."

Oh Lord. Can I just say that I don't think that I'll ever have to help my mom get ready for a date so I think I can deal with reprogramming the remote every time they erase the settings.

I pigged out today. Went to Wendy's. Couldn't resist a Frosty since it was like a bazillion degrees today. Had to have my Spicy Chicken Wrap because that is fabulous. Then of course there must be fries to dip in the Frosty because... yes. And my stomach growled while I was in line so I go two wraps.

I get why Marty and Rory never talked about a relationship. She fell asleep. Only time a Gilmore is quiet.

Going to see Tony Lucca next month. Can't wait! Spending the weekend in Boston. I'm so excited. I need to just get away. I can't keep picking up the pieces for everyone else.

I love the DVR and why is Chief Manning killing people on CSI: NY? I miss The District. I miss the hotness of Anthony LaPaglia. Sadly they killed him off on NCIS. They should have recognized his goodness and given him a recurring role.

The brushes they use for finger printing (on CSI: NY) look fun. Autopsies are not so much fun and yet they torment me with one every week.

I need a pedicure so I can start taking advantage of this great weather with a lovely pair of sandals.

If I ever pick a fight with someone remind me to not do it 20 stories up by a glass window. That is a recipe for distaster.

I take great amusement when listening to someone from Texas give an interview or answer questions. They’ll often preface their answers with “I’m from Texas” as if that explains everything.

“You put ketchup on your scrambled eggs?”
“I’m from Texas and it is good. You ever try it?”

“You played baseball as a kid?”
“I’m from Texas. I played short stop for years before moving to third base.”

“What’s your high score on Rock Band?”
“I’m from Texas. I suck at Rock Band because whistling isn’t an instrument.”

I’ve never really claimed to be from anywhere. I was born in NH, raised mostly in RI, moved to ME, took sabbaticals from the northeast in Vegas and Fl, and am currently residing in MA. I’ll usually say that I’m a New England chic. Never laid claim to a parcel of land as my home. Usually don’t feel much for the geographical location that I’m stopping at until my next residence.

http://www.foxnews.com/wires/2009Apr13/0,4670,ChristianCenterFire,00.html

However, I was a bit sad when news broke that fire had destroyed a good portion of Alton Bay. That was my first home. I remember nothing about it. I’ve been there a few times long after it was no longer home. It’s a piece of my history though. I don’t have memories of Christmas and Easter in that home. We probably left before I was old enough to make a mark. I’ve only been back a handful of times since and I haven’t stepped foot inside the house.

Last September I was there for a weekend. Stayed on the campground. Relived memories with my mother. She pointed out where she’d escape to find a few moments of relaxation on the lake while pregnant with me. Pointed out cottages of people who have been deceased for many years that made an impression on her life. Saw places that were part of the beginning of my parent’s ministry. Went into Wolfeboro, NH where I was actually born for a few hours and walked around with a friend. Chilled out nearly three decades after having left where my life began. I didn’t notice the changes that have occurred. Just enjoyed the quaint little town that at one point was home.

In the past year I've had an opportunity to revisit my history. My father is now pastoring at the church that he and my mother married in 32 years ago this June. I've visited my birthplace equipped with a maturity to understand the significance of being there. It is an honor to be able to know from where you came that equipped you for where you are going.

Baseball season has begun which in and of itself is exciting. What most excites me about the start of baseball season is that spring training camps begin for football season not long after and we'll soon be enjoying action on the gridiron.

I love football!

Should have copyrighted Happy Birthday

Flowers arrived at work last week. Delivered by the FTD guy. Ok so not that guy on the sides of the van in the jumpsuit that looks like a reject from the Fantastic Four movies. Nope the Westfield, MA FTD guy who didn't even rate enough to get one of those vans with the speedskating-jumpsuit-wearing flower delivery guy on the side. He dropped off a beautiful spring arrangement.

What struck me as I accepted them was that every bouquet I have ever received has come with the same vase. (Flowers on the left from March of 2009. Flowers on the right from sometime in 2005) If you were to look at FTD.com or through a magazine they all come with the same vase. Whose bottom is too wide to fit in cup holders and not wide enough to prevent tippage so therefore it really isn't the smartest design, but I digress. Someone out there is probably mass producing these generic vases, selling them in bulk to flower delivery companies, and making millions. Or worse yet is that someone out there created these numerous accounts and has since left this planet and has lazy heirs that are making millions off of this generic vase design. Still worse yet is that the generic vases that we receive were designed by someone and someone else came along and decided to copyright, steal, monopolize that design and they are making millions and the designer lived out their days with a mediocre income.

The moral of the story? Flowers are best left to remain rooted in the earth. Send a card. Keep Hallmark busy and therefore keep my friend, Steph, employed.

And because the world isn't complete if we don't get it in black & white.....

A great photograph is a full expression of what one feels about what is being photographed in the deepest sense, and is, a true expression of what one feels about life in its entirety. - Ansel Adams, Photographers on Photography : A Critical Anthology by Nathan Lyons (Editor)

RMSP

"No place is boring, if you've had a good night's sleep and have a pocket full of unexposed film."

~Robert Adams, Darkroom & Creative Camera
Techniques, May 1995

Yellow Skittles

Summertime

I can't wait for summer- flip flops, tank tops, sun. I am a warm weather chic. I do adore spring though and the feeling of newness that is ushered in. The first time you wake up and the windows are open and you can hear the birds. The first flower that appears. The first time the grass appears green.