Trapped

Trapped by Irene Hannon.

Every teenager suffers through rules. The curfews are too early. The bedroom doesn't have to be clean if you close the door. The backpack gets left on the couch. Every teenager pushes the boundaries of authority.

However, Laura Griffith wasn't prepared for her step-sister's resentment of every request Laura made of her. Darcy's father died only a few months before and yet it feels like a lifetime go. Darcy inherited their mother's free-spirit. Laura's life is practical and organized. Their worlds collide when all they have left is each other.

Darcy feels anything but gratitude and eventually she takes off. She's lined up a place to stay in Chicago if only she can get a ride through the winter storm blanketing St. Louis. As the storm draws out her departure date, Darcy befriends a volunteer at a shelter. Mark is a kind guy who is almost too good to be true. Eventually, Darcy realizes he is when Mark traps her in a soundproof room in his basement.

Laura Griffith turns to Phoenix, Inc for help in locating her wayward step-sister. James Devlin is a former ATF agent who knows the risks that a teenager on the street faces. He takes the case hoping to relieve the fears that haunt Laura.

The reunion between Laura and Darcy culminates in an inferno of sisters learning how to encourage each other to live.

Hannon is one of the top suspense writers for Christian fiction. She keeps you guessing as to how the case is going to be solved.

Melinda Baker 1980-2013

Having just turned 33, I've been contemplating that Jesus fulfilled His purpose on Earth in his 33rd year. It makes me wonder if the night before He contemplated all He had accomplished and the weight of what the year ahead might bring.

I don't consider 33 to be old. I barely consider it to be old enough. I don't consider myself old. At this point in my life, I'm moving beyond the adventure stage and to the homesteading stage. The temptation has fled to remain in constant motion. I don't know how I would feel if this was my last year; if before I had turned 34 it was over.

If my final year was this one, I hope that I've made an impact. It won't ever be to the extent that Christ's impact has changed the world. Regardless of how long I live, I hope that I leave an impression of Jesus behind.

If I only have until I turn to 34:

1. I want to finish the book that I'm starting for NANOWRIMO.
2. I want the book to be honest and thought-provoking.
3. I want to convey how deeply I love everyone in my life with each passing day.
4. I want to leave an impression of Jesus everywhere I go.
5. I want to spend a few hours seeing shapes in the clouds.
6. I want to see a sunrise and a sunset with someone special.
7. I want to give more than I receive.

Glittering Promises

Glittering Promises by Lisa T. Bergren

Third book in the Grand Tour series.

The rebirth of Cora Diehl Kensington comes full circle. After discovering that she's part of the wealthy Kensington family and joining them for a Grand Tour through Europe, Cora becomes a tabloid sensation. The story of a poor girl coming into a wealthy inheritance has caught the eye of reports, paparazzi, and criminals.

Cora follows her heart and defies society by picking her tour guide, Will. Despite being pursued by a wealthy Frenchman, Cora believes her future is with Will. However, doubt and insecurity being to creep in and soon enough their promising future looks a bit uncertain. Along the way more attempts are made on Cora's life as loss continues to pile up for the Kensington family.

I'm glad  this series is over. There was never any doubt who Cora would choose and the journey to get there was exhausting. At every turn there seemed to be a more ridiculous obstacle in Cora's way. Sudden jealousies arise between Will and Cora that were fabricated through ridiculous plot points. As the tour comes to a close Cora is dodging metaphorical bullets. She's been kidnapped more than once. She's been fooled repeatedly. This series would have benefited from being a single book on the longer side. It reached beyond ridiculous at points.

When we finally reach the end, it is abrupt and anorexic. I wanted more and it wasn't there. We wasted too much time on ridiculousness and the payout wasn't enough.

I wanted to like this series more. However, between the uncomfortable reading of switching voices when moving between points of view and the drawn out plots, I just couldn't endorse this series.

Real Men Don't Text

Real Men Don’t Text by Michael and Ruthie Dean

The Deans bring advise to a generation of tech-savvy daters wondering how to navigate the virtual waters to marriage. Attempting to date a serial texter requires a translator. Michael and Ruthie brought a crash course in understanding what a texter means when they say “are you busy tonight?”

I found Real Men Don’t Text gave a lot of practical advice. If the guy doesn’t have the motivation to call you, you shouldn’t find the motivation to get dolled up for a date. If the guy texts you like he texts his friends, he probably doesn’t intend on you being anything other than a friend. You can’t sit around and wait for the next text, you need to live life. If the text doesn’t come, move on.

What I felt Real Men Don’t Text failed to take into consideration is we are far down the technological road. We can no longer see the point we started from in the rearview mirror. I’m probably a few years older than the intended demographic for this book and many of my friends wouldn’t be “friends” if we followed the logic in Real Men Don’t Text. We’ve reached the point of a generation not reaching for the phone to make a call first, but reaching to text. We are tweeting our devotion to our significant others. Facebook statuses are proclaiming our love. One-on-one communication is dying.

I love the idea behind going “old school” and speaking to each other. There are many phone conversations in my past with wonderful friends and boyfriends which lasted multiple hours. Many time I think “I miss the sound of so-and-so’s voice.” The reality is we need to accept the evolution of today’s advancement and train our children to respect themselves and others. Text messages don’t have to be booty calls. They are simply what Facebook is to MySpace. 

I'm No Angel

I'm No Angel by Kylie Bisutti

 Kylie spent her life battling with her physical appearance. Her long legs and trim figure partnered with a beautiful face prompted adults around her to comment on her future as a model while children mocked her. Eventually their words became a driving force behind Kylie's desire to be a model and eventually achieve the pinnacle of being a Victoria Secret's Angel.

This book highlights two truths - beauty is sometimes an illusion and God's will for our lives will propel us into unique places meant to glorify Him. Kylie's natural affinity for modeling helped her own runways and photo shoots internationally. As a teenage Kylie achieved two milestones in her life; she became a Christian and an Angel. Only one of those would give her peace and an everlasting treasure. The other robbed her of the very essence of an empowered woman.

I can't say I enjoyed this book because my heart is broken. Too many girls won't read this book because they don't want to hear from a fallen VS Angel. They are more intrigued by the current cast of disillusioned women who believe their worth lies in the slimness of their thighs, the tightness of their abs, and the perkiness of their breasts. The facade of perfection is achieved after countless hours of lies and manipulation through fake tans, Photoshop, and the more dire physical punishment that models endure. I couldn't put this book down though because the transformation was beautiful. Too many people view models as butterflies, but it was only after leaving behind the extensions, make up, bronzer, and designer clothing that Kylie truly transformed.

Kylie shines a light on the lies of the modeling industry; the reality of women who sell their bodies or use sexual stimulating images to garner attention. It is a dangerous mentality for young girls to become women who place their value in how they compare to other women. Her journey from determined model to a content woman of God is a beautiful tale of how when God is the center of our lives our thoughts change to mirror His. Scriptures are tied in skillfully with the lessons that Kylie learned in each chapter even when she didn't know the lesson herself.

With brutal honesty Kylie penned her way from Angel to being shunned by the modeling industry.

Remembering

Every 9/11 we go back to that day when the worst of humanity threw a cheap shot. The pain and fear billows back as we remember the horror of that day. This year I want to do something new. I want to look forward. 

I promise
 to honor those who died that day and every day since to prevent atrocities like that from occurring to innocent people - domestic and foreign.
 to be grateful each day that I have been blessed with family, friends, a job, and opportunities for the future.
 to not take for granted the freedoms I have been gifted by the sacrifices of too many.
 to live every moment as though it might be my last.
 to hold my tongue when anger swells.
 to not miss an opportunity to say "I love you."
 to remember to say "please" and "thank you."
 to judge someone not by the superficial but by the depth of their heart.
 to not deny others the freedoms that I often take for granted.
 to recognize sacrifice - small and large.
 to not speak my complaints because someone has it worse than me.
 to not worry about what I can't control, but to control myself.
 to take a moment and absorb the world around me.
 to smile because life is too short to be angry all the time.
 to not take for granted the people who I'm privileged to know.
 to avoid the discrimination of labels and embrace the knowledge of both sides.
 to let go of past hurts and pray for those who hurt me.
 to let the little things in life remain little.
 to not waste a moment on indecision and fear.
 to give more than I take.
 to add to this list with the things I learn tomorrow and ever day after.

Stranded

Stranded by Dani Pettrey is the third in her Alaskan Courage series. It follows Submerged and Shattered. 

I've been looking forward to today for a while. Really since the publishing date was announced. Even with all the anticipation, Pettrey didn't disappoint. Stranded took us on another Alaskan adventure that kept me reading until the last page.

Darcy St, James first appeared in Shattered. She assisted the McKenna family in proving their brother,innocence. During that time she became close to Gage McKenna. A few fundamentals kept them apart though. She was a Christian. He had very painful memories of his last relationship. Darcy left on assignment and now five months later it is as if Gage never existed.

Their paths meet when both are hired by Destiny Cruise Lines. Darcy is writing publicity articles on the Alaskan Adventure excursions that Gage is in charge of. Darcy isn't simply writing articles though. She's assisting her former investigative journalist partner, Abbey, with uncovering the truth behind some sketchy happenings. The problem is that Abbey disappears before Darcy has a chance to speak with her.

While accompanying passengers on kayaking trips and hiking trails for their Alaskan Adventure expeditions, Darcy and Gage find one of their own. Something evil is afloat and they are determined to put an end to its voyage.

Again Pettrey delivers. She paints Alaska as an imperative character in each of her novels. The McKenna family remains interesting and with each adventure we learn more about them. I'm looking forward to their next adventure in Silenced.

Renegade

Renegade by Mel Odom

Odom follows Deployed with Renegade. We pick up a few months later and follow Private Pike. He's in Witness Protection trying to bring justice for the death of his only friend. He's a tough case though. He's a Marine Reservist and isn't easy to get along with. The marshals have frustrated him with their procrastination on bringing Petey's death to a close. He holds himself aloof from everyone because history proves they won't care for him in the long run.

Until a young boy named Hector begins to weave his way in through the few cracks that Pike has. Pike begins a tough battle within himself as he slowly begins to care for Hector, a few fellow Marines, and the occasional person who appears in his life.  It's easier to shut  his emotions down, but shutting down his emotions creates a monster.

Orders to Afghanistan separate him from Hector only to bring him in direct contact with Bekah Shaw. When Pike finds himself in the wrong place at the wrong time, he determines to shut himself down for good. The problem is that Bekah won't let him close that door.

I really enjoyed the story, but I liked the analogy that Odom drew even more. Without losing his story or getting preachy, Odom points out bluntly that you can't have it both ways. You have to choose to care or choose to not care. You can't live forever in a state of flux. Caring leaves you susceptible but it also renders great rewards.

As with Deployed, there are still loose ends in Renegade. I'm  hoping we return to Bekah, Pike, and Shaw down the road.

Dead Lawyers Tell No Tales

Dead Lawyers Tell No Tales by Randy Singer

This was the first book I ready by Singer. It won't be the last. First his title sounds like something out of Pirates of the Caribbean. Second his main character is a former quarterback.  Touchdown!

Landon Reed has discovered a new version of himself. A former high-ranked college quarterback he fell from his  pedestal when it was discovered he'd been part of a point shaving scheme. After two years in jail he is released. First he marries his longtime girlfriend and mother of his daughter. Second he buckles in to earn his degree as a defense lawyer.

As he struggles to make his way without being that guy who shaved points, Harry McNaughton comes along and gives him an opportunity. Harry is unconventional at best, but he knows how to win. Landon is pumped to learn from Harry. That is until other lawyers in the firm are killed. Including Harry. As Landon takes on one of Harry's high profile cases, he realizes he may have stepped onto a field he wasn't ready for.

Singer ties together this story with precision. I was worried the legalese would bulk it up and weigh it down, but I was fascinated through the entire story.  Can't wait to read more!

Grave Consequences

Grave Consequences by Lisa T. Bergren

Bregren picks up where she left off in Glamorous Illusions with Grave Consequences. Cora Diehl is adjusting to life on a Grand Tour as Cora Diehl Kensington. Her life went from being a farmer's daughter with a couple of dresses and a hope of becoming a teacher to a life where she wears multiple dresses a day and being courted by a French nobleman.

Danger still haunts their steps even as they leave France. Cora's heart is torn between her growing feelings for the forbidden Will and the charming Pierre. As Cora fights to reclaim her identity despite new found blood lines, adventures await in foreign lands.

I found Grave Consequences to be a bit too long. A personal dislike of mine is that Cora's portion of the story was written in first person while Will's was written in third. It was a distraction and not one that I found easily overcome. While the meat of the story was engaging and entertaining, the completed work needed to be cleaned up.

I'll read the third in the series just to see how it ends. I'm not jumping to purchase more of Bergren's books though.

I Still Believe

I Still Believe by Jeremy Camp

I love reading. I love reading great fiction. However, no one writes stories like God does and the truth in I Still Believe is so powerful.  I had the pleasure of meeting Jeremy Camp in his travelling around in a van days. As a matter of fact I watched him unload his van for a gig. A few hours later after completing the manual work, he lead 200+ teens and young adults into an amazing time of worship.

I Still Believe starts at the foundation with Jeremy's foundation - faith and family. The brief time with his wife, Melissa, is a powerful enough testimony. However, Jeremy's testimony begins when he chooses to follow the Lord. Dissatisfied with the emptiness the temptations of the world delivers, Jeremy sacrificed and chose to walk a narrow path. As a teen the call on Jeremy's life was vague but it was forming. Through the book Jeremy tells of moments of doubt, rebellion, confusion, and anger. Something that we all feel and yet as Christians we are hesitant to admit to.

There is so much in the pages of I Still Believe, but mostly it is a story of the reality of God's faithfulness. I'd recommend this book to new Christians, young Christians, old Christians, grieving Christians, wise Christians, and those who don't have a relationship with the Lord. You can't really summarize a testimony like Jeremy's. I Still Believe is a testimony; it isn't a story.

Rolling Stone

Dear Rolling Stone,

I know you've made a name for yourself pushing the envelope. You've chosen cover photos meant to create rumblings and mumblings. Well, you've succeeded again.

Only this time I think you've gone too far. The typical Rolling Stone cover usually consists of less clothing especially from the 18-30 range. I do commend you for refraining from photo editing the photo so he'd be shirtless. I'm glad to see you still possess some restraint. However, I don't believe your choice of cover photo is getting your point across.

Let me tell you. I haven't read the story. I have no desire after seeing the cover to read the story. It could be the most mind-altering story I'd ever read, but I won't read it. I refuse to even read it online because I will not support your decision.

If your desire was to showcase the other side of the story for a hate-filled terrorist, then I would suggest that perhaps you fire your marketing people and start over. I might have been interested had your cover featured someone that I wanted to read about. I might have even taken a moment to think about the point you were trying to make.

Let me tell you what cover stories I would have wanted to read:

• the story of a 911 operator working on 4/15-4/19.
• the thoughts of an American soldier who is fighting for our freedom overseas and watching the lock down of Boston as terror invades our streets
• the story of a Dunkin' Donuts worker who served  Boston's finest during the manhunt
• the countless heroes of 4/15 who came to the rescue of others by offering their WiFi, blankets, shelter, water, directions.
• the facts from the officer who arrived on the scene where Officer Collier was executed
• the stories of officers who delivered milk, bread, etc to residents shut in
• the doctors and nurses who worked the ER
• the crew who cleaned up the street after the crime scene tape came down

I'm sure there are many other ideas out there. Many other cover stories that would have created enough interest for you to be relevant again. Instead you created controversy in the hopes of making a few dollars. 

The last thing we need to do is spotlight the despicable actions of someone who chose to slaughter innocent people. If you wanted to create empathy, sympathy, or pity for a murderer then don't glorify him. It isn't worth mentioning his name. His actions were those of a coward. Whether he was a lemming following in his brother's footsteps or a mastermind, he isn't worthy of a photo on the front of your magazine as if he is the next Justin Bieber or Timberlake. 

Why do good children go bad? I hear that is the theme of the story. Well, it could be that an overlooked child sees the fame and notoriety that evil is awarded and they seek out their fifteen minutes. It may be that the bullied want to shed light on their situation and they go to extremes. It may be that adults take the irresponsible path and excuse bad decision making because of their circumstances. Could it be that rather than holding someone accountable we cover them in excuses and ploy on the sympathetic nature of many? 

I think we need to stop good publications from going bad by holding them accountable for their actions instead of allowing sympathetic minds to excuse their behavior.  Rolling Stone, you made the wrong choice. I don't believe you are evil at the core, but you made a poor decision and it is time for you take responsibility for that decision, apologize to those you've offended, and learn from your mistake.

Sincerely, 

ME

Avenged

Avenged by Janice Cantore

Police Officer Carly Edwards is back with a new enthusiasm for life. She has remarried her husband, Nick Anderson, and her only dilemma is whether to remain in a black and white or take the federal task force position offered to her.

Unfortunately, the honeymoon ends abruptly. Carly and her partner, Joe, respond to a call one night and find two gang members dead and another one critically wounded in an apparent execution. As the investigation progresses, the facts don’t line up with a gang war. The city stands on the brink of a gang war and yet the catalyst seems to be a personal vendetta against Carly. As the gang tension gears up, Carly is facing a battle of her own. She’s become the start of a reporter’s blog about corrupt cops. Ginny Masters is calling into question every arrest and investigation Carly has been a part of.

Cantore excels with presenting the facts in a cop-centered action-adventure. Unfortunately, her writing often times comes across as a police report. Her 20+ years as an officer has given her experiences to draw from and she lays out the mystery plainly. Avenged held my attention because I was eager to see how all the unrelated mysteries were intertwined. At the end of the story the threads were all tied together and were satisfactory. Much like many action-adventure movies, you stay for the excitement even if you don’t feel connected to the characters.

All In Good Time

All In Good Time by Maureen Lang

Dessa Caldwell has a dream. She wants to fulfill the mission of her mentor, Sophie Pierson, and open a home for women seeking shelter. Her goal is to give prostitutes an opportunity of leaving their lifestyles. She needs financing to buy a home located on the edge of the Fourth Ward in Denver where the nightly business goes down. An application for a loan brings her to Hawkins National.

Henry Hawkins is a successful banker and Denver’s own Scrooge. He avoids all social interaction and disapproves of business dealings that aren’t guaranteed to return a profit. Dessa’s enthusiasm and business plan aren’t enough to convince him that Pierson House will allow her to repay any loan. Fortunately for Dessa Henry’s uncle and business partner, Tobias, interfere and approve her loan.

Thus starts the journey of Dessa and Henry. Dessa’s passion for the woman of the Fourth Ward is matched only by Henry’s disapproval. In time Henry’s disapproval fades and Dessa’s passion finds results.   

All In Good Time was an easy read. I enjoyed the underlying story which is that we all have a past. We can’t hide from it. We can’t deny it. We certainly can’t always cover it up. To have a future we must accept our past. The beautiful thing about our past is there is forgiveness for our transgressions. Each character in All In Good Time has something they need forgiveness for. Which is the way for all of us. It is about admitting to our poor decisions and learning from them.

As is typical with historical fiction, All In Good Time has a happy ending. The events leading up to that ending are entertaining and well-written.

Tangled Ashes

Tangled Ashes by Michele Phoenix

In Lamorlaye, France there is a castle with a history that began in the 1940s and is about to be unearthed.

American Marshall Becker is at the top of his game professionally as his restoration business is going international. Personally Becker has never been lower. To fight his demons he's turned to alcohol and shut himself off from the world.

Becker finds himself completely out of his element as he works against the clock to restore the castle before the deadline Fallon, the owner gave him. The work isn't a problem. It is the presence of Fallon's twin six year olds and their nanny, Jade. Along for the ride is the interior designer, Therese, and a recluse who lives on the property, Jojo. Soon his drinking becomes in obstacle in getting his work done as well as a mysterious visitor who searches the castle at night.

Challenging him along the way is Jade. The energetic nanny with a unique outlook on life. She's pushing him to be kinder and face the alcohol problems. Her perspective on life increasingly aggravates him and then breaks him as he learns of the motivation behind her outlook.

As renovations continue, secrets are uncovered. There is a tie to the 1940s that is clear from the beginning. If you know history, then you understand the significance of the dates. WWII is underway and the castle in France has been occupied by Nazis. Soon history becomes present as an event 60+ years in the making happens.

I enjoyed Tangled Ashes, Phoenix wove an interesting tale. The main character in the story was the castle. She presented it beautifully, making me want to visit France and bypass the Eiffel Tower for Lamorlaye.

I must admit I was more intrigued with the WWII portion of the story. Despite seeing where it was headed early on, Phoenix kept me interested in the journey to get there. The modern day story was good. Becker is a hard man to like even as a fictional character. His growth came slowly and really it wasn't a marked growth by the end of the book.

As a personal taste - I could have done without the multiple paragraphs on the nightmares Becker was having. I'm not a fan most of the time of detailing dreams or nightmares. Many authors try to ambiguously haunt their characters in an effort to drive up the drama. As a reader this is infuriating. Phoenix may have hidden clues to Becker's demons in the nightmares, but I took to skimming them.

Deployed

Deployed by Mel Odom.

This is the first book I've read by Odom. I wasn't entirely sure what to expect.

Bekah Shaw is a Marine reservist. She's a single mother trying to make a better life for Travis. Unfortunately life isn't making it easy for her. An altercation with a drunk friend of her ex-husband drops her into trouble with the law. Her trial is delayed when she is given orders.

Heath Bridger is fighting to free himself from the shadows of his father. Heath followed his father in the family business and is a successful lawyer. He is also a Marine reservist who is called away in the middle of a case in which he is trying to save a man from Death Row.

Rageh Daud was trying to live a peaceful life. He'd walked away from the violent life his father had groomed him for. The death of his wife and son hurdle him back into the lifestyle he was comfortable with. With renewed vigor Rageh builds an army to stand against the militia taking over Mogadishu.

There is another character that we meet in the beginning. I remember his name being Pike.  Is that first or last? I don't know. He appeared to have an interesting story but we were introduced to him and he made fringe appearances before disappearing.

Odom writes a great military story. I've recently read three autobiographies of military men. They were each fascinating reads. Odom captured the action of war with the same ease as these men. He broke into more detail and at times that had me skipping a paragraph or two.

However, Odom missed his mark when it came to fleshing out the stories of each character. As I mentioned Pike has what I would say is a very interesting back story. I would have loved to have learned more or seen it at work more within Deployed. It was as though Pike was there but he wasn't. Which is odd given the amount of time we spent being introduced to him. The end of the book came rather abruptly by the time the story started rolling. I'm hoping his second book in the Called to Serve series picks it up, but I haven't read a synopsis for it.

The theme of Deployed  is peace. Bringing peace in the midst of war and finding peace within yourself. While Odom doesn't dig too deep there are lessons to be taken from the book.

The story within Deployed belonged to Bekah Shaw and Rageh Daud. However, we were thoroughly introduced to some other characters all which now have large question marks above their heads. As well as the fate of Rageh Daud.

Odom writes military action with ease. I felt transported over there as easily as if I was watching Black Hawk Down. I'll be looking for the second book because I want to know what Bekah, Heath, and Pike are up to.

Rescue Team

Rescue Team by Candace Calvert

Kate Callison has a habit of running away. This time she has run into a firestorm as the interim director of Grace Hospital's ER. Kate built impenetrable walls that she is determined will stand. The death of a newborn won't break them. The emergence of her distant father won't crack them. The kidnapping of an infant won't tumble them. The affection of a cute cowboy won't soften them. She's stepped into a maelstrom in the ER as she's filling in for the missing Sunni.  The lovable, compassionate, kind Sunni who was beloved by staff and who Kate will never be a decent replacement for.

Wes Tanner is a volunteer with Search and Rescue. He's a kind-hearted cowboy that every girl dreams about except Kate. Despite her attempts at remaining a good distance from him, life keeps putting them together. Wes might actually scale those walls Kate built, until tragedy brings about the truth of her painful past. Can Wes forgive Kate for the one sin that he has deemed unforgiveable?

Rescue Team continues Calvert's skilled writing of the trauma, tragedy, and excitement of an ER. She mixes life outside the doors of an ER and the battle for life within the doors. Rescue Team had perhaps my favorite underlying theme. Do we draw lines and declare that certain actions/decisions/sins/mistakes are unforgiveable? Can we place ourselves in someone else's shoes and see their heart? Are we capable of the compassion necessary to look beyond the actual act and see the brokeness/confusion/pain/helplessness that often leads to those actions?

I really enjoyed Rescue Team because the message was one that I've been mulling over recently. It is so easy to draw a line in the sand and claim a side, however sometimes that line gets washed away with the tide and we need to be prepared to step over it.

Fifteen years as an adult

Fifteen years ago today I graduated from high school. I don't believe I am old enough for this.

It is funny to think how I would have planned my life out if given the chance. I'm positive it wouldn't have taken the path it did. I am eternally grateful for the path it took even if I've complained some through the years.

My graduation speech was written by a naive 17 year old who felt the anticipation of a plethora of opportunities ahead of her and the confusion of which one would be the right choice. The only right path was the one that I embarked on. I remember contemplating my potential career paths. Penciled in by my ten year reunion would have been a wedding and a couple of kids. Life certainly didn't happen that way.

On Monday I'll begin again. I'll be starting a new full-time, permanent job. The first since I was laid off nearly a year ago. This moment is eerily similar to the one that occurred out of high school. I jumped on an opportunity and waited to see where what adventures it would take me on. This job is much like the opportunity that presented itself to me out of high school. I didn't exactly see it coming but I'm eager to see where it will take me.

In the meantime I'm comforting myself with the fact that I don't feel like I've been out of high school 15 years. I've crossed that line from young adulthood to adult, but I still feel like the kid who is anxious to see what dreams will come true and which ones will be replaced with something better.

What is making me feel a bit old is that my niece has completed KG. Yeah, I am still trying to wrap my head around that.

Take A Chance On Me

Take A Chance On Me by Susan May Warren.  Part of the Deep Haven series.

Darek Christiansen has a history in the small town of Deep Haven. He is a widower. His wife, Felicity, was killed in a vehicle accident by his best friend, Jensen Atwood. All Darek wants is to save his family's resort and raise his son, Tiger, without ever having to encounter Jensen.

Assistant district attorney, Ivy Madison, has moved to Deep Haven looking to find somewhere she can finally put down roots. She hasn't had anything resembling a home that she can remember. In an effort to integrate herself into small town life in Deep Haven, she buys Darek in a charity bachelor auction.

As Ivy begins to settle into her new home, she is caught between the justice her job demands of her and her feelings for Darek. Anger and blame are forcing everyone in Darek's life into two separate corners. There are those who blame Jensen for Felicity's death and there are those who blame Darek. Ivy's pivotal role in Jensen's plea bargain could force her out of Darek's life. Darek's anger could force Tiger to be removed from his custody.

Take A Chance On Me is a love story. The typical elements of a romantic love story are present but at the heart of this story is the beauty of God's love. Jensen Atwood is a murderer. Darek Christiansen hasn't forgiven Jensen and is swift to anger. Ivy Madison believes that she is incapable of being loved. They each forge the battle of deserving God's love versus receiving God's love.

What I really enjoyed about this book is the insistence that God loves us regardless of how we come to him. He doesn't love us because we've redeemed ourselves. He redeems us because He loves us. When you take  a chance on loving someone romantically, you are risking that at some point in time you won't meet their expectations. When God loves He loves us as we are. He'll meet us where we are at, cover us with His grace, and walk beside us as we traverse life.

Susan May Warren crafts fictional tales that really drive home the principles that Scripture has laid out.

I wasn't dropping no eaves.

Perhaps one of my favorite lines from LOTR. I love the play on words and the innocence of Sam.

Today while helping someone out, I read something they had written about me. It was very sweet and a confidence booster. They've eluded to these thoughts before but never really voiced them to the extreme that they wrote them. It was encouraging given that I start a new job on Monday.

Oh yeah.  I start a new job on Monday!

I'm stoked about this. After the lay off and months of unemployment and temping and yadda yadda yadda, I thought this day might never come. It has arrived though!  Wahooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

In the meantime there are some other things going on that prevent me from completely celebrating this good news. I'm still processing and can't really write about it because I'm not sure how everything is going to go down. At this point only God knows and time will tell.  I'm holding on to this verse that was part of the Proverbs 31 devotional today. If you are looking for a good daily devotional, I highly recommend Proverbs 31.  They bring wonderful words of encouragement and spirit checks to your email. They are also on all those wonderful social media sites that keep us all connected.

"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." Isaiah 43:1-2 (NIV)

Greater Springfield Relay for Life

When A Secret Kills

Ending the Deadly Reunions series by Lynette Eason is When A Secret Kills.

The mystery began in When The Smoke Clears and continued through When A Heart Stops. Jillian Carter ran away ten years ago without a word and left behind her best friends, Serena and Alexia, and her boyfriend, Colton. The secret she carried with her when she left has threatened the lives of Serena and Alexia. Jillian returns to put an end to the danger and must rely on Colton to help her make sense of the secret. As they try and unveil the truth, their lives are threatened and another secret that Jillian is keeping could be her undoing.

Eason weaves a masterful tale. After reading When The Smoke Clears, I wasn't entirely sure how the suspense could be maintained. It never waivered from its intensity. You must read all three and in order. I can't say much else because it really is a must read for yourself type of action suspense series.

Happy Memorial Day!

It is Memorial Day weekend. To many that means a three day weekend, the official start of summer, permission to wear white, and the end of another school  year. I'm stuck on Memorial Day this year.

I'm currently reading American Sniper. Recently I finished No Easy Day and Seal of God. I'm absolutely amazed at the men and women who volunteer their time and some their lives in the pursuit of freedom. They are a special breed. They aren't made of the same material as the rest of us. I use the word volunteer because they don't do it for notoriety or for money. If it wasn't such a consuming passion for them, they'd have chosen other professions.

In American Sniper Chris Kyle talks about his priorities - God, country, family. He claims he was a man in a world of black and white. There was no gray in his world. He killed so there would be one less person threatening his country. He believed so thoroughly in his calling as a SEAL that he was willing to push to the background everything else.

Right now there are thousands upon thousands of men and women doing the same. They've left their families behind to fight so we can BBQ with ours on Monday. They've given up all the comforts of home so we feel safe in ours. They stand between us and those who threaten our freedom so we can enjoy our freedom.  Thank you!  Thank you to every man, woman, son, daughter, father, mother, brother, sister, husband, wife, and friend.

survivalstraps.com is having a Memorial Day sale. Use MEM2013 at checkout to save 10% and get free shipping. You can send one to a random military hero to say thank you.  :)

Jennifer: An O'Malley Love Story

Dee Henderson brought us back to the world of the O'Malleys with Jennifer: An O'Malley Love Story.

I am a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge fan of Dee Henderson and her O'Malley series. So much so that I took issue with the fact that when Dee returned to writing last year, she utilized the O'Malley's in her new story as fictional characters. I also had another issue with her mentioning them, but that is a post for another time.  I was thrilled when I found out we would be getting a more in depth introduction to Jennifer.

The O'Malley Family consists of seven siblings - four girls and three boys. Jennifer O'Malley is the youngerst member of the patchwork family. The O'Malley's aren't related by blood but chose the members of their family from an orphanage.

Jennifer is a doctor in Texas. While the rest of the O'Malleys reside in Chicago, Jennifer has taken a position healing children with cancer. Separated from her family, she makes friends with Dr. Tom Peterson. As their friendship grows Jennifer explores her questions surrounding his faith. As Tom continues to be a consistent example of faith working in one's life, Jennifer faces the thoughts of eternity for her young patients.

Jennifer: An O'Mally Love Story is a wonderful addition to the O'Malley series. My one complaint is that it was too short. Also knowing where Jennifer's journey would go through the other books, I hesitantly turned each page. It was beautiful to watch the relationship between Jennifer and Tom grow. It was wonderful to gain more exposure to the youngest O'Malley and see the role she played in the lives of her brothers and sisters. A half complaint is that we didn't get to see any of the other O'Malley's.  We were told but not shown and I was hoping for at least one weekend visit with Kate or Rachel or a phone call with Stephen.

Henderson is a gifted writer who managed to strike gold with the O'Malleys. Their sibling relationship is one to long for and her romantic relationships are realistic. The opportunity to "fall in love" as Tom and Jennifer did would truly be a special gift.

It is Monday already?

I can't believe Monday is here already. This weekend was jam packed full of goodness. On Saturday and Sunday we held a FUNdraiser at Texas Roadhouse in Springfield. We started by decorating at 10am on Saturday and then staying all day. It was a great time and the staff at TRH really got into it. Then we did it again on Sunday. I'll put photographic proof of the fun below.  :)

I was able to bug out of work early today. So I had two coupons for Barnes and Noble burning a hole in my wallet. A coupon for books can't expire so off I went. I haven't been in a bookstore in forever. I love the smell of hundreds of new books. I purchased a Mary Higgins Clark book for my mom as a belated birthday/Mother's Day present. I also purchased Chris Kyle: American Sniper and The Time of My Life  by Cecelia Ahern. I'm fascinated by the (auto)biographies of our military personnel and Ahern has such a fresh take on storytelling.

Dee Henderson also released an addition to the O'Malley series. Jennifer is about the youngest O'Malley. She didn't have a book dedicated to her in the O'Malley series. I was super excited to buy it to add to the collection on my shelves. However, it is a short. Which meant it isn't even the same size as the paperbacks that I have. I guess I'm going to get that one in e-book.  I like my books to match on the shelves.

Also a small annoyance I'm experiencing. I have a Kobo e-reader. So I primarily try and use Kobo when downloading books. There are a few different emails that I receive that offer free books. Kobo is supposed to be one of the retailers from which I can get the books free. They are never available free through Kobo though. I always have to use iBookstore which means I am reading on my iPod or iPhone.

Which leads me to another frustration. I don't mind my Apple products but I don't live and die by them like some people do. As a matter of fact I find Apple to be a very arrogant company and arrogance is such a turn off to me. I don't want to buy an iPad but it would be most convenient since I have a few books that can only be read on Apple products. I could suffer through the small screens of the iPhone in protest of Apple's attitude or I could cave and buy an iPad. I know Apple isn't hurting without my single purchase of an iPad.  Dilemma.

How about some ACS FUNdraising photos?

Talon

Talon by Ronie Kendig.

I couldn't wait for Kendig's new book. I power read through her Nightshade series and gobbled up her A Breed Apart series about Military Working Dogs.

Talon was highly anticipated and didn't disappoint.

Aspen Courtland has adopted her twin brother, Austin's, MWD. Talon has severe PTSD after being on assignment with the day Austin is killed. Aspen doesn't believe her brother is dead. After eight months of being MIA, the military officially declared him dead. Renewing her doubt about Austin's death is the arrival of Dane Markoski. According to Dane he was serving with Austin on the day he went MIA and has since seen him in South Africa. Dane agrees to accompany Aspen in the search. The longer Aspen is with Dane the more questions she has about him. Those questions stir her curousity and her admiration. Will Dane reveal the truth and if he does will Aspen still trust him? Is Austin alive and if he is in what state will they find him? Can Talon overcome his fear and find Austin?

I couldn't put Talon down. Kendig creates stories that ask questions and I couldn't rest until I had the answers. The action and adventure lined up perfectly with the touch of romance.

Busy busy busy busy busy busy

Here is a confession that might make you think less of me.  I own NSYNC's N the Mix. Don't judge me it was many years ago that I bought it when JT was just Justin and he was tolerable. At one point Timberlake described tour life as "busy busy busy busy."  That is how my life has been the past few weeks.

I keep making observations throughout the day and using the Blogger app to post them up here. However, when I arrive here I can never find them. A lot of random thoughts are floating aimlessly through cyber space. They lost their way to you.

I leased a new car a few weeks ago!  I upgraded my Mazda3 to the Mazda6. It is a nice ride and has more room in the backseat for friends. I also went with a darker color which is very pretty but shows the dirt so easily. Especially this time of year as the pollen is falling and it is practically neon green.

There is a job that I've applied for. I'm holding on tightly to hope that I'll receive an offer. Everything about it sounds perfect but there have been a few hiccups along the way. After some missed reminders and some confusion, I managed to speak with all the essential team members. As of the end of last week, they were checking references. My fingers are still crossed.  That might explain why I am struggling with typing so much today.

Kobo had a great sale today 30% off most of their books and you could use the code as many times as you wanted. I placed the code at the end of this entry if you are interested. I purchased some books that I've been eagerly anticipating:
The Surivor by DiAnn Mills
Talon and Whole Pieces by Ronie Kendig
When A Secret Kills  by Lynette Eason
Rescue Team by Candace Calvert

Look for reviews coming soon. It is a rainy day in New England and I'm going to spend the rest of it reading.

I found myself in Target today after celebrating Mom's birthday with my parents and aunt. I purchased Michael Buble's new CD with the bonus tracks. I realized that I've been buying less and less CDs and downloading instead from iTunes.  However, Target devised this evil marketing strategy to release additional tracks exclusive only to the CDs sold in their stores. It is mean I tell you. Especially since the new car has Pandora, a USB to hook up the iPod, and BlueTooth for my phone.

I think that is all for me for today. I'm wiped. I'm going to go find my favorite blanket, some root beer, plain M&Ms, and read one of my new books. Below is the Kobo code for anyone interested.

24HOUR30

A week's worth of random thoughts

if I can remember all of them.

Today I'll be saying good-bye to an old friend.  Mozzie has been around for almost three years. He and I have had some awesome adventures. Sadly the lease has come to an end and it is time to upgrade him. I wonder if this is how women with multiple husbands feel.

I had to clean him out last night. It is amazing what can accumulate in a car in three years. Even though he wasn't ever really cluttered it took a couple of trips to get everything out of him. Somehow I own three umbrellas and yet I never use one.

Remembering all my random thoughts for the past week might be harder than I thought.

Friday night was girl's night. It started with an ACS fundraiser and spilled into a dive bar. One of the other committee members is hosting a fundraiser at a bar that she used to work at. The problem with dive bars is the number of locals who have graduated from a couple of beers to six or eight a night. The progression may have been gradual but it reaches the point where peeps get handsy. It is even more amusing when they happen to be a politician.

Relay month is here. It is the final thirty days before Relay happens. It means a lot of preparation for a good event. I'm getting excited as this is the first year I'll be able to attend all 24 hours.

Scream 4 is playing in the background. I had forgotten how ridiculous these movies are. The sad thing is that they know it because someone did clue them in and yet they didn't make an effort to improve them.

This weekend will be the new cars first trip to my happiest place on Earth. My friend and I will be meeting to celebrate her birthday. I'm stoked. It is going to be a great day! We are going to see Iron Man 3.

I know there is a lot I'm forgetting. I guess I'll have to do mini updates as I remember. Right now it is time to go get ready for work. I've got to get through the next few hours before I can go get the new car.  :)

Popping In

Well, it has been a few days plus a few more. I've been out straight with American Cancer Society stuff and I've gotten a seasonal position that should last a few months.

I'm grateful this position is only seasonal. I'm grateful for the work and the opportunities that it presents, but I have to say I'm not sure how I would survive in this office if it turned out to be a long term employment offer. The focus of this company is a new field for me, but the work is your typical administrative duties. However, the woman I work in the office with is challenging.  She's a wonderful person but our work styles don't mesh.

This is where I'm going to sound like I have zero patience and even less tolerance.

When describing to a friend tonight the unique challenges of working in this particular office, she told me I have an ability to see the bigger picture and plan everything out without reaching the moment of desperation that so many do. I've never looked at it that way before. I told her that I have an impatience when it comes to working with people who complain about what needs to be done instead of doing it.

As I said, J is a wonderful lady. She's kind and helpful and eager to learn. However her eagerness to learn is usually directed to growing her garden and not to getting the work in front of her done. She has a tendency to talk to customers who have their own work to do about anything but what really needs to be talked about. Then she'll sit and talk to me about how much work she has to do and that she'll never get it done. She also procrastinates on things and then panics when it all seems insurmountable to her. For instance today I hand wrote an address on an envelope for her because she hasn't had time to do it.  The envelope has been waiting a few weeks to be addressed. I did it in thirty seconds. She doesn't manage her time well.

Today was particularly challenging as it was end of month. For anyone who works in an office where invoices and S&R is done, you know this is an important deadline. She complained all day that she'd be there late tonight. Well, part of her issue is procrastination and poor clock management. If she coached an NFL team the fans would be pleading for her to be fired as the clock ticked down to :00 and she sat on three timeouts.

I sat at my desk doing the work that was assigned to me so that I could close out my portion of end of month. I answered phones and hefted part of her workload so that she'd gain ground on her "To Do" pile. I actually had to leave today though so she could get some work done. If I was sitting there she'd start talking to me about nothing work related. A lot of internally humming was going on in my head today.

Relay for Life

We are amping up for Relay for Life. It is just over a month away and there is a lot of work to do. On Saturday was Survivor Breakfast. Survivor Breakfast is one of those moments in which you sit back and really admire the human spirit. Every survivor in that room had a tale to tell of the hell they had been through from the shock of the first diagnosis to the exhaustion of the battle to the elation when they received the "all clear."  I'm in awe of the beauty of human spirit and how resilient it can be when there is support and love.

It really hit me especially since I'd been up until 1:30 that morning finishing the Survivor Video. I'd been working on it late as I watched the events unfold in Watertown. Boston will be stronger than ever because its citizens have come together and held each other up. Each survivor is stronger because of the love and support they received and when they come together they hold each other up. It is beautiful.

I leave you now with the video we closed out Survivor Breakfast with.

Disclaimer: there are photos here from other photographers and music from Destiny's Child.  No infringement meant.

Control

I've been browsing Twitter. It is an absolutely amazing window in the opinions of a sampling of people. Of course there are a few hot topics tonight but the one that seems to be jumping is gun control and the NRA's influence on Washington.

I'm not political. I don't respect politicians. I don't believe that any of them tell the truth. They all mislead lie to get a seat that they believe is a show of power. I don't know the full details of this bill that just got denied.

What I do know is that an awful lot of people are screaming about how Washington just killed our children and yet they support abortion.  Can we talk hypocrisy? Apparently we want to control an inanimate object that isn't harmful to anyone unless a person wields it, but we don't want to police ourselves.

This is what it all comes down to me. We don't want to take responsibility for our actions/decisions. We want to ban an object that won't choose to harm anyone. We want to prevent access to an object so it can't be used to kill someone instead of holding ourselves accountable for hurting someone. Why aren't we teaching and exercising respect to each other. Let's teach our children to be kind. Let's stop supporting bullying and cruelty.

It is a sad state that our society is in. We deny everyone freedoms in order to prevent a few from perpetrating crimes. I have respect for life. Which is why it doesn't matter if I am handed a .45 or a tank, I won't take a life.

I'm absolutely not against stronger background checks for those buying guns. I am absolutely against the government taking control. There is a long list in history of why this can't happen. Let's not repeat the mistakes of those who gave their lives learning these lessons.

There are a lot of thoughts running through my mind, but I need to go write some things for ACS. I don't think we'll ever reach an acceptable compromise on gun control. There will always be one side or another screaming.

April 15, 2013

Today's events will be added to the history books someday. As generations age 4/15/2013 will become a question on a "facts about me" email that will probably be shared by the newest social media sensation as 9/11 has become.

The following is literally going to count as ramblings because I'm not even sure what I want to say tonight.

On 9/11/2001 as the towers were hit and began to burn, I desperately wanted to drive to the airport and get on a plane. All flights were grounded out of concern for more attacks. This upset me because I didn't want to give them the satisfaction. I wasn't scared to fly. I was mad I couldn't fly and prove to the terrorists that they couldn't scare me.

Today I desperately wished I could get to Boston and run the marathon. After the explosions as they warned people away from Boston so the wounded could be helped and the perpetrators hunted, I wanted to run the 26.2 because the explosions were designed to cause fear.

I defy those who try to force me into fearing living. I will not live in fear. I will not wonder when you will strike next. The only way I know how to best you at this game is to live my life without concern for if you may be lurking around the corner. I won't allow your hate to drive out the love in my life.

My heart grieves as photos and videos surface, giving image to the horror that transpired. Families on Patriots Day cheering for runners who ran to raise money and awareness for a cause were torn apart. It sickens me that in the midst of selfless acts terror can create chaos.

I'm sure today isn't the last historical day that I'll see in my lifetime. Anniversaries are slowly overcoming the calendar as we remember victims of terror. I pray for everyone who has suffered from senseless acts of violence that they'll find peace. I pray they find forgiveness so the grief doesn't consume them. Mostly I pray that we can respect each other and put an end to the violence.

Love As Yourself

Matthew 22:37-39

English Standard Version (ESV)

³⁷ And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. ³⁸ This is the great and first commandment. ³⁹ And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself."

During today's church service we looked at a Matthew 22:37-39 briefly. It got me to thinking are we loving each other as we would love ourselves?  Maybe we are.

If I sat down to write a list of things that I like about myself, I don't think it would be longer than the list of things I don't like about myself. I can probably name ten things I'd change about myself in ten seconds and it would take ten minutes to find ten things I like. I'm much harsher on myself than I am on others. I see everything in me that lacks and often wonder what I have to offer. If this is the way in which I view myself then how do I view others? Have I bought into society's dictations on physical beauty and success? Am I weighing myself against these expectations and therefore also weighing others?

It all ties back into verse 37. If we love the Lord with all our heart, soul, and mind; then his Spirit dwells in us and we love as He does. We learn to walk in His grace and mercy and we extend that to the people in our lives. I can try to love as God loves me. In my humanness that is impossible. I must fill my heart, soul, and mind with the things of God so that He shines through me.

Critical Care

Critical Care by Candace Calvert

It took one night for nurse Claire Avery's life to change. She was on duty in the ER the night her brother was brought in. After his death she leaves for a new hospital and a new position that keeps her as far from the ER as possible. Her life is ER free until the day there is an explosion at a daycare center. The ER needs hands and Claire's are skilled. She's asked to return to the ER and her life isn't ever the same.

Dr. Logan Caldwell is feared and revered. The hospital staff respects his skills but his manner keeps them on their toes. He doesn't accept anything less than perfection and Claire is about to put her rusty skills to the test. She survives a shift in the vicinity of Logan but then goes toe-to-toe with him as she fights for counseling for the staff after the horrors they saw. Logan doesn't feel the same as Claire does about talking about feelings.

Again Calvert brings about the drama of the ER with the human doctors and nurses that carry the burden of saving lives and even losing lives.

But God

You would think by now that I wouldn't be surprised. Yet here I sit, shocked at how amazing God works things out.

This week I had an opportunity to interview for a position. By all counts this job seemed to be something that I was wasting my time on interviewing for. It was below my pay range, farther from home than I'd like, and only temporary. However, to keep unemployment happy I haven't turned down an interview yet. I trotted myself out for this interview thinking there would be no reason they'd want me because of some prior commitments that would require time off.

Well, I was offered the position. Then I had a decision to make. Take this job, be employed, continue to look, and bring home less than I do on unemployment? Don't take this job, gamble on my unemployment being extended again, hope I get a job before the lease is up on my car, and keep applying to every place hiring?

Ultimately I took the job. Through the temp agency somethings were negotiated so I felt more comfortable with accepting the position.  This all went down earlier this week.

Today I received a letter that unemployment was reducing benefits due to the federal budget cuts. With what was negotiated through the temp agency, I'm making more now working than I would have been on unemployment.

I've spent more than a few hours wondering what God has in store for me with being laid off and then struggling to find work. I've battled a lot of self-pity and muttered more than a few times "do You even have a plan for me?" I wish I could say that my faith remained steadfast and true but it shook in uncertainty at times. I held out hope but hope seems to burrow deeper with each moment the phone didn't ring with a job offer or a request for an interview.

But God

While my hope may have faded a bit and my faith grew shakier, He remained strong. He remained faithful. He remained my Provider. It was all in His timing and when I listened to His guiding, I find myself on the path that He has laid out for me.

Everything is Perfect When You're a Liar 2

Everything is Perfect When You're a Liar

This was something to contemplate. I have no idea what the book is about. I didn't even read the synopsis. The title gave me enough to think on. I had two immediate thoughts 1) I know people like that and 2) I resemble that.

I resemble that title in one specific way. When someone asks me how I am my response is always "I am well and you?" It is almost second nature. It isn't that I choose to lie to them, but I don't choose to burden them with my drama. I don't like drama but sometimes you get pulled in.

*One of my favorite people on this planet has a saying. "I leave the drama to TNT, they know drama."  Makes me smile every time she pulls that one out.*

It isn't that I am a liar, it is that I don't open up and unload on everyone. I have a few friends who spill their life story every time someone speaks to them. I just stand there internally shaking my head and rolling my eyes. So even during these months of unemployment when I was wondering if I'd ever find a job again, I was fine. On the nights when I feel particularly lonely or bored, I am fine. When someone stirs up drama in my life and I'd rather live isolated on an island, I am fine.

It set me to thinking though about honesty. The mail man doesn't need to know that I contemplated selling everything on Ebay and relocating. However, if I can't be honest with those closest to me then I can't expect them to understand why I might be quieter than usual. It has taken me a few years to recognize that life not being perfect isn't a sign of being an imperfect person. As I've gotten older, I've begun to embrace the imperfections in my own life. I've accepted other's imperfections for as long as I can remember. I've chosen to live a life of not judging people, yet I was the harshest judge when assigning blame in my own life.

I'm employed. I have a temporary assignment that has come at the right time. I'm still battling the desire to move. I don't know if western Mass has anything for me. I don't know if I want to leave western Mass. I have three months to determine should I stay or should I go. In the mean time, I'm going to try to remember to be transparent with those who can offer me advice, will pray for me, and who are willing to listen because they care.

Everything is Perfect When You're a Liar

Let me start by telling you a funny story. After months of unemployment, I accepted a temporary position. This is great news and something that I am extremely grateful for as I was ready to go back to work within weeks of being laid off.  When I told one of my friends she suggested we celebrate. I agreed to meet her at the mall. Well, wouldn't you know she went to one mall and I went to another.  No lie. I got us a booth at the mall I was at and she got us a booth at the mall she was at. We spoke on the phone from fifteen miles apart.  True story.

After that funny mis-communication, I headed to the bookstore. Another fact about me is that I am mourning the slow death of bookstores. As I've mentioned previously, I accept all the conveniences of e-books, but there is nothing like walking into a store with hundreds of books.  Without a book to purchase in mind, I wandered aimlessly through the shelves. Sometimes I'd stop and check out a cover based on its art or title. Then I stumbled upon a book with a title that made me literally stop and stare at it.

Everything is Perfect When You're a Liar

This was something to contemplate. I have no idea what the book is about. I didn't even read the synopsis. The title gave me enough to think on. I had two immediate thoughts 1) I know people like that and 2) I resemble that.

I know people like that. It isn't that they are malicious liars but they lie all the time. They are chronic social media liars. One of my friends was described as "sunshine and rainbows and a perfect world" at a party one time and if you read her Facebook that is what you'd believe her world was. She has the "perfect" everything - husband, kids, car, house, pets, wardrobe, job, friends, hair, sink, shower, stove, fridge, mold in the shower. The list goes on forever. However, two minutes after posting a Facebook status about how wonderful life is, she is on the phone with me telling me how difficult her husband is, her kids colored on the wall, she hasn't showered in three days, and her car is officially an expensive lawn ornament.

Which is her reality?

I believe she is grateful for her husband, loves her kids, is thankful for the house and vehicles. She just takes her social media status to a whole new extreme. She's competing with the Joneses. She isn't competing with their life though she is competing with their virtual life. The projection that social media can give off. It is that image that crops out the busted appliances and growing credit card bills. It is the profile picture of a family that adores each other when really the kids have been bribed to sit close enough to get everyone in frame.

I'm not a fan of the chronic complainer either. The person who posts about how life is out to get them like  the 14th sequel to Scream. From their Facebooks you'd never believe they have money, you'd think they were minutes away from starving to death, sleep deprivation was 48 hours ago, and they've walked to school uphill both ways barefoot.

There has to be a balance. Somewhere you can accept life's challenges without complaining. You can also be a contender against life's challenges without losing face.

Everything is Perfect When You're a Liar part 2

Code Triage

Code Triage by Candace Calvert.

I need to be fair to this book and let you know that I did my version of speed reading for portions of this book. Which means I skimmed some paragraphs and at times chapters. I may someday go back and reread, but I finished the book last night and I don't feel the urge today.

Leigh Stathos has returned to San Francisco to help her sister get clean. While Caroline is in rehab Leigh plans on selling her house, divorcing her husband, and finding a new city to live in. As an ER doctor there are plenty of cities she can choose from where she won't run into her ex-husband, Nick, a SF police officer or the woman he cheated on her with. Unfortunately before Leigh can get out of town, she finds herself working with Nick and Sam.  Through the trauma of an ER and the roller coaster of her personal life, we follow Leigh as she discovers the meaning of the word "forever."

Calvert writes an interesting tale. Although the last chapter is predictable from the first chapter, she weaves in the excitement of life in the ER.  The problem I had in reading Code Triage was that we ventured inside Sam's head. Sam is your typical soap opera character. She's a woman who believes she can love another woman's husband better. We venture into her conniving mind and really I could have done without her internal monologue as she chooses a new father for her daughter. Sam goes out of her way to sabotage Leigh and Nick's attempts to reconcile.  Of course by the end Sam is apologizing and realizing she never stood a chance.  It was a bit too cliche for me. I would have appreciated reading about her attempts in a "show don't tell" approach.

I did enjoy the epilogue as a few characters returned and we were able to glimpse to see where their journeys had brought them.