Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Betrayed

Did they honestly think that I would hold them back from being happy? Were they really worried I would feel betrayed? Were they concerned I would be hurt by the news? Why couldn’t they have told me the truth? Why couldn’t they have shared the good news with me? Why did I have to find out from someone e months after the fact? Do they realize that by trying to protect me they hurt me? They kept secrets from me never giving me the chance to rejoice with them. Did they really believe that I was that juvenile to react badly? Was my friendship to them dispensable. I guess maybe our friendship wasn’t strong enough in their eyes to bear the possible strain. I wish they had more faith in me and in our friendship. Now, I wonder is there a friendship? If they can’t share the news of their relationship with me now will they be able to share anything in the future with me? I am believing that is not a possibility anymore. So many years of memories and a history that is almost a fairy tale and here I am wondering if there is a friendship left to salvage. I face a future without two people who have meant the world for me for so long. One of them has been in my life so long that I don’t know my life without him, I can't imagine my life without his presence. The other has stood by me through everything I ever went through as the sister I never had. I don’t know if it is possible to get over this inflicted wound. I guess sometimes friendships fade like the morning dew under the intense heat of the sun.