He paced the small room frantically dodging chairs and couches. The room had become his cage. His eyes darkened with anger, lit up with love, then shadowed with worry. Tugging at the hem of his shirt, his mind raced with questions. Was she ok? Was she still mad? He replayed the conversation over and over in his mind. She had punctuated her words of disgust and anger with the slamming of the door. Seconds later she drove off, he could only guess where she might have gone over two hours ago. Like a tribute to every dramatic movie scene he envisioned the argument, dark night, anger, the waiting, and finally the fatal news that a police officer would bring. He sank to the couches desperately trying to rid himself of these thoughts.
She threw the car into gear pulling out of the driveway, heading in no particular direction. Why was he so aggravating? He was such a possessive person. Did he really think she would spend the rest of her life with him? She laughed bitterly as she remembered his reaction to her decision to move on. He had no hold on her life. She was her own person. She could make up her own mind. Her indignation grew. She knew her words had been harsh and she did not want to leave on a bad note. Miles later her anger subsided some as she recognized a restaurant where the two of them had shared dinner on her last birthday. Before that night she had never imagined that he cared as much as he did. How could he love her that much?
He stood to look out the window once again. He shouldn't care he tried to tell himself she had proclaimed her desires and her independence. Not a fraction of his mind sincerely believed that though. He would always care. Over the years she had been frustrating. She had her days when he just wanted to kill her. She had those days when he passed it off as PMS or one of those women things and just stayed out of her way. She had those days when she lit up a room with her smile. There was that time when he had given her a kitten. Her smile had stretched from ear to ear and her scream rang throughout the neighborhood. He walked into the kitchen, picking up the cat he returned to the living room to sit in a recliner facing the door.
A few minutes later she parked her car and stared at the park in front of her. Memories sweet and precious began removing the frustrations of the past few hours. The patience he had shown time and time again flooded her mind. She walked over to a tree lightly running her fingers over the bark. Voices haunted her from the time they had gotten the kite stuck in that tree. His voice coaching her as she climbed a tree for the first time. Her mother's stern voice as she reprimanded her later for the torn jeans and dirt streaked shirt. His voice apologetic as he took full responsibility. She returned to the car placing the keys in the ignition. She paused knowing that once she started the car she would return to him. Was she ready to pick up the pieces of a broken heart?
His eyes fell as he thought of all the holiday memories. She had given new meanings to "special times" the first time he watched her hum as she clumsily strung the lights on the Christmas tree. Her petite body pulling chairs to stand on to reach the top of the tree. Her voice floating through the house as she hummed Christmas carols. Those "special" times became spectacular. How would he ever live without her? When had everything changed?
The car slowly made its way back to the house. She worried he wouldn't understand how much he meant to her. He had been a part of her life for years. Had she forever damaged the history? She prayed with everything within her everything would be ok. The car stopped as she pondered right or left, the long way or the short way.
He slept fitfully in the recliner. The cat had long ago given up on the hope of undisturbed slumber on his lap to jump down and make her way to the couch across the room. He dreamed of her running from him to "greener pastures". Would she find happiness and fulfillment? He groaned against the pain in his heart.
Pulling into the driveway she took a deep breath as she shifted into park. Grabbing her purse she walked towards the door. She moved to place the key into the their lock a lifetime of memories was behind this door. The door sung open and she fell into the strong arms waiting for her. Apologies, declarations of love, and dad escaped her lips as she cried against his chest.
*This is dedicated to every father that has watched his daughter move on*
