Adam Cappa

Minor review on a new artist.

I am in no way shape or form a musician.  I can't sing.  I can't play an instrument.  I can't keep a beat to dance.  I do know what I like though for music and I've discovered another new artist getting repeat plays on my iPod.

Adam Cappa got his start opening for Jeremy Camp.  There is no greater recommendation in my estimation than to have Jeremy Camp voice his approval for your music ministry.  Then I read somewhere that Adam Cappa not only opened for Camp but was being compared to him.  I had to get his album.

Cappa's The Refuge is right up there with a Camp album.  The Refuge is a nice collection of worship songs and uplifting pop songs.  From the encouraging Perfect to the attitude of worship in  How Worthy there is something for everyone.

The highest praise I can give Cappa is to say that I created a playlist on iTunes and labelled it 'Jeremy and Adam" and it is the most played playlist by far.

Self-doubt

What prompted this honesty?  Truthfully?  I battled a lot of self-condemnation recently.  Why?  Because there is no harder critic than your own self.

I've reached the age where I wonder more often than I should what God's plan for me is.  By this I mean is there a guy/wedding/marriage in my future.  At 13 if you'd told me that I'd be 31 and unmarried, my younger self would have laughed maniacally at you and told you to wait to be proven wrong.   Now at 31 I wrestle with self-doubt.  

What is wrong with me?  Am I not loveable?  Am I not attractive?  Is there something wrong with my personality?   Should I lose weight?  Cut my hair?  Wear flatter shoes?  Wear higher heels?  Wear more skirts?  

Logically, I know none of those things are the proper answer to the improper question.  When the doubt takes over though they are all the answer.  

Then I start to wonder if maybe I missed "him."  After all I could have been going through life at 75 mph as I normally do and jetted right by.  I view the world through the viewfinder of my camera and maybe he was just off to the side and I didn't have a wide enough lens.  Then I think of the "him(s)" that I had in my life and I know that I haven't missed the boat with any of them.  Which brings about the accusation that I am just too picky and need to chill out.  

Logically, I know this is not it either.  The problem comes when I try to apply logic to the emotional side of me and that emotional side rears its ugly head.  Emotionally I can convince myself that it is me.  It isn't that it wasn't the right time or in that moment that God's plan was still percolating for my love life.  I believe that if I change myself that I can create opportunities for those dreams to come true.

Yet, I know that it isn't for me to write my story.  God has been planning, plotting, and executing since before I was born.  I need to silence the lies of the devil and remember a few key verses.  The best way to improve my chances of marriage is to draw closer to God and walk in the truth that I am "fearfully and wonderfully" made by His hands.