Deflategate

Did he or didn't he? It is the question on everyone's mind who isn't considering running for President or dealing with riots in the streets. The rest of the world My Twitter and Facebook is clogged with opinions on Tom Brady's role in deflated balls. 

You get ten seconds for jokes born in the minds of ten year old boys.

Got it out of your system? As a Patriots fan I want to believe no one in the Patriots organization had anything to do with the balls being below League regulated pressure. However, let's be honest something might have been going on. The same something might have happened to a sampling of the Colt's balls (Fact #1 most people are failing to mention). Maybe the SNL skit from a few years ago is more true than fans of the 31 other teams want to believe - Tom Brady is a miracle worker. TB12 may be manipulating the weather. After all it is really convenient when Gillette is cold, snowy, or wet in January in New England. 

Before we assume anything let's reference the Wells report. 

McNally: Tom sucks...im going make that next ball a fuckin balloon 
Jastremski: Talked to him last night. He actually brought you up and said you must have a lot of stress trying to get them done... 
Jastremski: I told him it was. He was right though... 
Jastremski: I checked some of the balls this morn... The refs fucked us...a few of then were at almost 16. 

McNally and Jastremski sound like two guys who can't take a little intensity. I don't know them so I am not going to presume anything other than McNally could suffer from - like almost every male I know - a smaller bladder. Seriously it has been years since I've been to the movies with a guy who hasn't had to leave the theater for a bathroom break. I'm not even making them sit through Nicholas Sparks' latest. Who leaves the Avengers? 

Of course this is based only on the sampling of text messages within the report. It is probable they were trying to keep their intense QB happy by keeping his balls on the low end of the acceptable regulation as Brady has publicly admitted he likes his balls closer to 12.5 than 13.5. How the refs pushed through balls at 16 is beyond me. But again we aren't here to make assumptions. After all we wouldn't want anyone to feel it is probable (likely to be the case or to happen) there is a plausible ((of a person) skilled at producing persuasive arguments, especially ones intended to deceive) narrative of a man covering for a League suffering more bruises than a Roller Derby participant. 

"He does not remember whether he began with the Patriots or the Colts game balls on the day of the AFC Championship Game."
"Although Anderson's best recollection is that he used the Logo Gauge, he said that it is certainly possible that he used the Non-Logo Gauge."
"When tested, all of the Patriots footballs—both game balls and back-up balls— registered on the lower-end of the permissible inflation range. Anderson recalls that most of the Patriots footballs measured 12.5 psi, though there may have been one or two that measured 12.6 psi."
"According to Anderson, when tested, most of the Colts footballs measured 13.0 or 13.1 psi. Anderson believes that there may have been one or two footballs that registered 12.8 or 12.9 psi, but recalls that it was 'pretty evident that their target was 13.'"

The NFL officials messed up.  Oops wrong argument? I'm sorry. Fact #2 no one wants to bring up. They didn't write down the beginning measurements so we take Anderson at his word. No reason to doubt his credibility. He's an NFL official.

Anderson also stated that “we have to find the footballs.” Blakeman recalls that although Anderson is usually calm and composed leading up to a game, Anderson was visibly concerned and uncharacteristically used an expletive when the game balls could not be located. The other officials were similarly surprised and concerned.

Although the officials were concerned about the situation, with kickoff approaching, they decided to take the field. 

We won't mention how the officials knew the game balls had gone missing (fact #3) but failed to maintain the integrity of the game (Fact #4). After all this would be a non-issue if they had inspected the balls before the game. An obvious situation arose and because the officials didn't have the balls to delay the game we are still talking deflated balls four months later.

I offer an alternative view for The Wells Report.

McNally: 
Tom sucks...im going make that next ball a fuckin balloon 
Jastremski: Talked to him last night. He actually brought you up and said you must have a lot of stress trying to get them done... 
Jastremski: I told him it was. He was right though... 
Jastremski: I checked some of the balls this morn... The refs fucked us...a few of then were at almost 16 

"We believe that the most plausible reading of this exchange, based on the context and the evidence, is that Brady “brought up” McNally, told Jastremski that McNally “must have a lot of stress trying” to get the footballs “done” and that Jastremski told Brady that it was stressful for McNally. Jastremski‟s text message thus attributes to Brady knowledge of McNally‟s efforts to get the footballs “done” and the stress involved. We reject as implausible the reading offered by Jastremski, McNally and counsel for the Patriots that certain portions of this exchange refer to a person other than Brady." 

Could it be stressful because Brady is a perfectionist and a competitor and that is a volatile combination? I imagine Brady isn't the easiest guy to work with. It doesn't take much imagination. I don't think I'd want to prep his balls for him. The southern California boy's charms will only let him get away with so much. 

If I wasn't a Patriots fan I'm sure I'd be looking to tar and feather Brady much like I couldn't hide the smile when I read the news the Jets were fined for tampering. After all they've ruled the AFC East for over a decade and Brady has owned Manning. Oh did we mention his supermodel wife? Let's not forget the chin butt. My seven year old niece knows a good chin butt when she sees one.

As a Patriots fan I want to blame it all on they hate us cause they ain't us. Which isn't entirely true. Although for the rest of the AFC East it is probably 85% true. 

The reality is professional sports are businesses. Their purpose isn't the game. It is winning to achieve fortune, fame, and supermodel wives. The highest-paid pick your position in pick your sport isn't necessarily the best. Actually in most sports I'd guarantee he/she isn't. They are probably more marketing than natural ability. Every pro athlete can't be a freak of nature like Rob Gronkowski or JJ Watt. I'm not trying to discount the work pro athletes put in. After all Julian Edelman is always Coaching Up. However, athletes aren't always playing for the love the game, but for the ridiculous pay days. Aaron Rodgers isn't above inflating a ball above league regulation a competitive edge.

A good contract might guarantee you can always buy the Cristal for your friends, but it guarantees you end up with drunk friends which doesn't necessarily mean real friends. Take a 30 second time out and think on it.

I'm sure football in Dillon, Texas might be as competitive as the NFL. Friday Night Lights was the best thing to happen to TV. I get Texas takes their football seriously. I'm not going to sidebar with my thoughts on Texas right now, but let's just say football might be one of the few things Texas has going for it. 

The NFL, MLB, NHL, NBA, MLS, PGA, and professional backgammon league (I made it up, I think) don't exist for a love of the game. There is an immense amount of pressure to win. Up to 13.5 psi in the NFL.  Too soon? Brady and Co don't play football because they love the game and don't possess a back yard large enough for their friends to gather for a friendly competition. They play because they possess a larger competitive streak than those of us who sit on our couch and trash talk. They are willing to work out and suffer concussions to gain three yards at a time. Some of them will make barely more than a CEO of a small business. Others will make more than a dozen CEOs combined. Owners will invest millions to hopefully earn billions. A Sunday in the fall for 32 teams isn't about scoring a TD with the guys, but earning a bonus and locking in a new contract. 

I don't know if Brady had anything to do with the footballs. I don't know if something nefarious actually happened. I do believe it is possible no one committed a breach of NFL rules. The Colts' balls which were inflated to a greater PSI than the Patriots' balls also fell before league regulation. (Fact #5) If there were no atmospheric effects on the footballs then who let the air out of the Colt's balls? Let's get a new investigation going. Anderson and Co. didn't check enough of the Colts' balls during halftime though. (Fact #6) The 75% they found under-inflated weren't enough to warrant a second glance?My theory is the Colts' balls didn't lose as much psi as the Patriots' because they weren't getting as much use. 

At the end of a professional career, an athlete's name might be penciled into the record books. There is always a rookie yapping at their heels though. Ask Peyton Manning how his records are standing in Indianapolis. Your legacy/reputation/character is written in pen. 

The Wells Report took Sharpie and wrote "liar" all over Brady's face without proof. They surmised there was a probability he had a general knowledge. I have a general knowledge of what I'd do with a million dollars. I've never been within a mile of a million dollars to my knowledge. I hate to harp but let's not ass-u-me. After all the NFL has chosen a horrible time to create a drought to wipe the mud off their face. 

One of the arguments is Brady's sudden increased communication with two guys who handle his balls. Knowing what I know of males, a guy is protective of his balls and those who handle them. His increased texts asking if JJ was ok isn't surprising. It could just be a good person asking a friend if he's surviving the ride as his world is rocked upside down.

Professional sports are never going to be pure. Greed and ego will motivate players to push the limits of the rules. Coaches will get creative and walk the edge. After all if you can't beat them, whine and get the rules changed.  If I want to see pure football games, I'm probably going to have to find a Pop Warner team to cheer for. I'm a Patriots fan and I will be until they begin hosting dog fights and senior executions at Gillette Stadium. It isn't as though the Patriots are the black sheep of the NFL. They just happen to inspire an intensity either for support or hate unlike any other team in the NFL currently. 

Interesting development.
We might need to discount every word in The Wells Report. You can buy any results you are hoping for. Reputation matters.

Social Media behavior IRL

"I'd like my friends a lot better if we weren't friends on Facebook."

If we behaved in person as we do in Facebook:

A) Let me share something with you and then like it. It's like stating the same thing twice. I like this dress. I like this dress. 

Irritating isn't it? If I ignored the fact you shared it, you probably shouldn't like it to attempt to bring it to my attention where I'll ignore it for a second time.

B) "I'm so tired and my body hurts but I washed every piece of fabric in the house today, bought groceries for the next year, cleaned my house to hospital standards, and the kids now speak twelve languages." Translated it means "praise me for my awesomeness while I pretend like I'm not begging for a standing ovation." 

See me not like your post which is oozing false modesty. If you actually said it to me, I'd ask if you think you earned a gold star or a cookie. Posting it on social media isn't going to lessen the transparent attempts at back patting.

C) Spouse posting on spouse's wall. "Have I told you today I love you?"

If you have to ask then I am going to recommend you find a good marriage counselor. Stop posting it on Facebook, Twitter, Instagam, etc. Look your spouse in the eye and tell them you love them. I promise you they would rather hear it than read it. Why? Because the eyes don't lie but the internet does. Don't waste the energy writing a post when someone is waiting to hear the words.

D) Message everyone and their brother's cousin's nephew's sister's babysitter.

If you text me in a group message, it'll get deleted quickly. If you have a message for me, please send it to me and not the entire world. 500 people on Facebook don't appreciate being part of a message thread. The first message might have been important but all the subsequent are probably irritating. I'm going to miss important facts when I leave the conversation which I'll do faster than a speeding bullet.

E) "I've had a really bad day and I can't talk about it, but I'd like it if I could get off this ride now."

You are screaming for attention. If you don't want to talk about it, don't post about it. If you called me and said "something horrible happened but I can't talk about it." I would ask you why you bothered to bring it up. If you don't have the guts to say something then don't even make like you want to. 

I don't beg. If you want to discuss something, I'll let you bring up the subject. If you don't want to talk about it then I'm going to tell you Stella's latest trick. 

F) "I woke up this morning after having great dreams last night." "My coffee was amazing." "My drive into work took ten minutes longer than usual." "I got to work and am drinking my second cup of coffee." "The boss just got here. Let me pretend like I'm working." "Lunch time already? Should I have a salad or rice cakes?" "This afternoon is dragging." "I just had my fourth cup of coffee." "Should I cut my hair?" "I'm thinking about getting a new car." "Wow! Today flew by. Time to go home." "Stuck in traffic and I almost got caught picking my nose." 

Translation: I'm a narcissist with too much time on my hands. 

If you called or texted me as often as social media got updated, I'd be banning your number. I don't have time for a play-by-play. Stick to the highlights. It keeps people interested. By the third or fourth update, people have lost their interest. By the seventh or eighth, people don't care. A couple of days later and you'll be unfriended.

G) "I'm selling this amazing new product. See me post about it fifteen times a day."

G&F are closely related. However, if you are trying to run a home business, your friends and family might become your best customers. They aren't likely to support you if they've hidden you for repetitiveness. Mix it up. 

H) In a past life I was a donkey's saddle with a Spanish flare from the 70's.

Personality quizzes should be posted in moderation. They are the same as chain mail. I'm so glad most people have stopped forwarding "Open within ten minutes and you'll be financially secure for the rest of your life." Those got deleted without being opened. 

I) Phone buzzes with a text/ "Did you see my Facebook post?"  

If it is important enough for me to need to know, then make the effort to let me know. Social Media is like a billboard. If you have a message, only those travelling the road see the billboard. This doesn't mean you should post to every platform. It means important information shouldn't be shared utilizing inconsequential media platforms.

J) Share everyone else's photos and status updates, but never share anything about you.

This seems to oppose the argument in I, but why should I be friends with you on social media if you aren't represented. Post about yourself. Don't post every ten minutes. Don't only post about one topic. Don't be vague. If you are proud your child won the spelling bee, then let the world know. However I don't want to know if your neighbor's cat's mother's lizard is missing. 

K) Treating your profile like you are an unofficial member of the news media.

Life is happening all around us. The world today seems intent on imploding. While we all should be aware of current events, don't just share a thousand links from news outlets. Have an opinion besides "OMG!" Otherwise I'm going to believe you are an educated adult aware of the world around you. I have no need for a Facebook Tom Brokaw. I also have no desire of proof you aren't an educated adult. 

L) "I have the best family, house, car, pets, wardrobe, friends, plants, leaves on the trees outside, kitchen sink." Thus Facebook tells us. However, a phone call paints a different picture. 

If you are going to be on social media, be real! Because your friends might begin to wonder if you are a liar or determined to keep up with the Joneses. I'm far less likely to be happy for my friends when they don't appear to be telling the truth. There is a fine line of honesty in social media. Don't oversell or undersell. Stop selling! Try being yourself. 

M) "When is my life  not going to suck? It has been 124612154622134589621335 days since I've smiled."

Straight talk. I only have so much patience for negative people in my life. I feel obligated to listen to my friends who are on the phone or sitting across from me. Social media makes it very easy to press mute. If life is handing you a tough time, find a way to make something positive out of it. 

N) Let social media become the only way you stay in touch with your friends. 

N saddens me the most. I don't feel the need to call my friends because I know everything about them from Facebook. Most of my friends are represented in this list. The saddest part is close friends aren't close anymore because social media is killing the art of friendship. What used to be beautiful and organic is plotted and manipulated. The song of long conversations has been silenced for 140 characters.

O) "Some people need to learn how to treat others. You know WHO you ARE after all I'm commenting TWO seconds after you posted a STATUS update."

Don't pretend to have the balls to call someone on the carpet for something if you are only going to do it on social media. Social media is not a clothes line so stop airing the dirty laundry.  Be an adult and a human and deal with it one-on-one. I won't respect what you are saying if you say it on social media. It'll get ignored.

P) Retweet "You are so awesome and the prettiest, loveliest, kindest, most talented person to ever person."

If someone has something kind to say to you, respond by and show your appreciation. Favorite it. Don't retweet it. Your ego grew two sizes and I'm searching for a pin to pop the bubble.

The art of being a human is slowing becoming a lost art. We are now social media shadows of ourselves.

It Is 2015.

There is something refreshing about New Year's Day. It isn't the day off from work or the Rose Parade.

January 1st brings the feeling of a reset button being hit. 365 loom ahead full of possibility and potential. There is room for hopes and dreams. There are more days to make it a great year than to wish it away.

Because my mind won't shut up

and people keep doing things to set off more thoughts.

There are days I wish I could sit down and speak with Adam Cappa. He's very caught up in posting about relationships. While I admire his focus on God, he has a running theme regarding relationship memes.

I know my confidence comes from God. My parents raised me to read my Bible and attend church not plaster boybands on my walls and attend concerts. They wanted my foundation to be in Christ. They never wanted my identity to be bound to another human being.

Apparently though my confidence/strength in God has caused an intimidating personality. I'm still trying to find a Biblical answer to balance out confidence in Christ and an approachable spirit. I'm not even sure how to identify the two aspects. I can't say kindness or gentleness because I do believe I possess those traits. Apparently I am only a threat to guys interested in dating me. Despite my insecurities I apparently don't need to lose some weight or dress differently to be physically attractive. If I was diagnosed properly the other day, it isn't my physical body at all which is the deterrent. It is me - the inner workings of my mind, the character traits I've acquired, and the knowledge I've gained.

Insecurity says it isn't the outside which isn't please to men; it is the inside.

Which blows everything out of the water for me. Because while I've been fighting the physical attraction battle. Apparently I should lay down my sword and surrender because I need a guy who is going to react phyically to me because everything else isn't a good package.

The cartwheels are now somersaults.

Damsel In Distress

otherwise known as working things out in my head.

I haven't been reading much recently. First there hasn't been much time. Work has been beyond busy. Second honestly despite some of my favorite authors having new releases, I am just not interested.

I'm still working on a project, but I'm stalled. It isn't writer's block, but a lack of focus. The completion of this project probably won't reduce the terrifying aspect of me nor have me branded a hopeless romantic.

In the same conversation I was informed I am terrifying, I was also told I am not a romantic. Oddly enough I began to think about many of the books I immerse myself in. I enjoy almost everything by Susan May Warren and I enjoyed the The Heart of a Hero series. A romantic heart does beat in my chest. I also find though many woman can write romantic stories which can captivate a woman.

Let's lay it on the line though. Most authors don't write books about 5'10" sturdy girls (aka not Victoria Secret model material) who know more about football than most men. When you factor in the independence and confidence, you don't have a good damsel in distress. If an author writes about a woman nearly six feet tall then the male lead is at minimum 6'2". A lot of the times the male lead is almost a foot taller than the female lead and strong. He's the anchor when the wind threatens to blow her anorexic butt off the ground.

Then you have some type of tragedy which sends the girl into DID (damsel in distress) mode. A death, car accident, horrible break up, etc are the catalyst for the woman needing a man to be her strength. I'd rather not have to attend a funeral for a guy to witness my tears and swoop in and save me. I can't think of who I'd sacrifice in order to gain a Prince Charming.

Where are the stories about a relationship which occurs organically? Why does true love only happen after someone has been kidnapped? Why must my soul mate be waiting for me at the site of a plane crash?

You're confident.

Can I tell you a secret? I was told my confidence is intimidating to the male species. The secret is I'm confident despite my many insecurities.

A friend informed me I scare him and I terrify a friend of his. I've spent weeks trying to wrap my mind around why. The other day I was told it is because I'm confident. Apparently confidence is one of those PC answers people give when asked what they find sexy in someone they are attracted to. It sounds good when you say it, but when confronted with someone who is confident most people have no idea what to do. The Knights in Shining Armor seek out their Damsels in Distress because it strokes the male ego.

The truth of the matter is I'm confident, but a lot of my confidence comes from the reality of I live without being someone's other half. I was raised to not seek the approval of others. My parents brought me up to honor God in all I do. Which means I haven't changed myself in order to gain the attention of someone I'm attracted to. My purpose in life is not to land a man, but to bring glory to God. In thirty-four years I've spent more time handling everything than I have being taken care of.

Side story: I was about 25 when a woman well into her forties wanted to know if I was married. I told her I wasn't. She wanted to know if I was engaged. I told her I wasn't. She wanted to know how long I had been with my boyfriend. I told her I didn't have one. She was amazed because I was "so content" for being single. I was completely baffled at the time. She was on a date with one of my co-workers who she met while she was on a date with someone else. She left with my co-worker while her date was in the bathroom. I couldn't relate to her at all.

Tonight I'm sitting here as my thoughts do a complete floor routine in my head. When I think I've got it all figured out I realize I'm cartwheeling and my feet are off the ground.

A few months ago I was introduced to a guy. He seemed like a great guy. We had great conversation and a great time when we were together. However, I could tell I was too much for him. My "confidence" was overwhelming to him. He needed someone who needed him as badly as he needed them. There was an awfully lot of needy in there. I wasn't the girl for him. I was upfront with him from the beginning about who I was, but he seemed convinced we'd be a good match. Until I didn't live up to the picture he had in his head. He disappeared in a cloud of dust. Didn't even bother to tell me why or let me know we'd be better of as friends. He simply went radio silent.

My confidence took a hit. Even though I knew we weren't going to be a forever couple, it hurts when you are rejected even if you know it is the right decision. However, it has set me into a tailspin. Because there is a guy who I could see myself spending a significant amount of time with and it having a different outcome. However, I guess I'd have to tone down who I am if I want him to approach me. Which I can't do. I briefly tried to be someone I wasn't and it didn't work for very long.

The truth is I want to be cared for. In some ways that does mean a mutual needing of each other. However, my confidence is a shield. Let's be honest. It is the truly cocky people who lack insecurity. It is the people who walk around believing they are better than everyone else who don't throw up shields. They have other issues to deal with. I do want someone despite at the moment not needing someone. It wouldn't be me though if I ran around throwing myself in the way of a runaway car so I could be rescued.

My confidence is my shield because it does hurt knowing the next few days I am going to be alone. It is lonely to a certain level. While I can enjoy some peace and quiet and maybe put the mental brakes on, the silence can grow deafening. It is painful to know there isn't someone out there who is willing to set aside some time to watch a movie or go to the store with me. No one is going to call because they simply want to be near me. Most of my friends are already with their families. The others will soon be so they are in the rush of holiday planning. The reality is I have to accept these facts. I could sit here and cry about it, but what will it accomplish? Someone won't magically appear to wipe my tears.

So rather than cry tears which will flow unseen, I'll remember I don't need a guy to affirm who I am. I'm not really terrifying. I'm just terrified to give in to the sadness which would overwhelm me if I dwelled on the empty space next to me.

The truth is I wish there was someone next to me. Someone wanting to be there. I wish someone would see beyond the confidence to the girl who would appreciate being cared for. However, I want them to want me for who I am and not for the less-confident-but-more-attractive version I sometimes consider conforming myself into.

This my friends is my confidence conundrum.

Bridge to Haven

Bridge to Haven by Francine Rivers

Francine Rivers is an author in a league of her own. Rivers takes excerpts of Scripture and writes a parable. Bridge to Haven is another to add to her stellar list of God-honoring, well-written works.

Abra is abandoned within minutes of her birth. The newborn is left under a bridge in the town of Haven. Pastor Ezekiel Freeman discovers her during his early morning prayer trek through town. Despite his wife's delicate health, the Freemans adopt Abra. Until Abra is five she knows nothing outside of having loving parents and a brother, Joshua. When Marianne Freeman dies, Pastor Zeke is forced to make the hardest decision of his life. He asks Priscilla and Peter to adopt her. Suddenly Abra has two parents and now a sister, yet her five year old  mind can't understand what she did wrong to make Zeke not want her anymore.

Thus begins a pattern in young Abra's life or so she sees. Penny, her newly adopted sister, soon becomes jealous of her. Zeke pulls himself farther away in order to make the transition easier for Abra. She only sees Josh on Sundays, and then he's drafted and away for three years. Despite the leading of the adults in her life, Abra can't understand why God would or should care about her. Her heart becomes ripe for the enemy's picking as her fears of abandonment blossom.

Cue Dylan. Dylan is the extremely handsome new boyfriend of Penny. Abra takes one look and she's both jealous and intrigued. It isn't long before Dylan drops Penny and challenges Abra to leave Haven behind. Her desire to be wanted and Dylan's smooth ways soon have her visiting the worst places California has to offer. Dylan keeps her around longer than he has any of his other conquests, but it more the challenge because Abra never adopts the attitude of worshiping Dylan. Eventually he does want to trade her out so she's passed over to another man.

Franklin Moss has other intentions for Abra besides the sexual pleasure Dylan sought. He sees potential in her to make money. Soon Abra Freeman is gone and Lena Scott is born. Her beauty captivates audiences as she begins making movies. However, Franklin's motives turn more selfish and he eventually marries her to control her.

After years of emotional, physical, and sexual abuse; Abra is ready to resurface. The foundation laid by Pastor Zeke and the people of Haven is still strong. Abra eventually leaves Hollywood behind with no destination in mind. A series of hardships fall on her and she ends up in the same town as Joshua Freeman who has spent five years praying she'd return to him. In a desperate attempt to get Josh to leave her alone, she confesses all her sins and only finds forgiveness. His forgiveness becomes the bridge to Haven.

Bridge to Haven is a masterful tale of the power of forgiveness and the lesson faithfulness. God's timing isn't always our and we can't always see His plan, but it is there and we need to trust. No matter how much sin separates us from God, the bridge to Him is the length of the cross. Always the length of the cross. The cross is never too short nor is it too long. It bridges the gap to His loving presence.