Long Island

Why do people get all dressed up to go lose their money at the casino?

If you're going to lose your shirt at the casino wouldn't you want it to be the ratty one from 1989 that smells of moth balls?

Signs you know you're an old fart:  when you comment on the pathetic state of today's youth and their education by stating "When I was a kid...."  

Why does a dog smell worse after having a bath than he did before the bath?

A sign that you need to brush up on your parenting skills:  it is 9:30 at night and you take your 3 children under the age of 4 to TGIFridays for dinner.

A sign that parenting might not be for you:  you don't see the problem with the aforementioned sign.

Bacon & chocolate works.

Lemon, pepper, & white chocolate doesn't.

The grass for Easter baskets grows on rocks on Long Island (see evidence below).

Ferry rides are excellent.  Ferry rides with sailors are awesome!

For the price of a ticket to Disney I spent 24 hours doing nothing and that magical.  

Another sign you know you're an adult:  you can't sleep past 8 no matter how hard you try.  Your body just refuses to let you.